family – As Far As The Eye Can See

Calving 2026 Begins

I am sitting in the library at the University of Regina. Jill is across from me working on an essay for her english class. To say that I love coming here is an understatement. Its Saturday night but there are few places I would rather be. I am a nerd I guess. In a couple hours I will be heading to Regina airport and arriving from Zurich will be our good friend Anja. Calving season is amping up and our support crew is in the wings. Anja is a big part of that.

We have had a pretty good start to our season but not perfect. More than three weeks ago, while Russ and I were in Jamaica our cow named “Canada” birthed a pre-mature calf that didn’t live. Morgan started milking the cow. Every day since then the guys have kept her milk supply coming so that one day she might be able to adopt a calf. Today was the day. Our cow named “Ginger” gave birth to twins, she showed pretty quickly that she was not up to the challenge of caring for twins. Russ was able to take the second calf and bring it home to Canada, but not before naming the calf, “Little Saskatchewan.” Another calf last week did not survive its birth and Russ started milking its Mama so there was a while where Morgan and Russ were milking two cows. To deal with this we got a twin from the Paton ranch earlier this week, they raise Charolais. Our cow will raise their calf and at the end of the season we will give half of our earnings from “our” Charolais calf to the Patons. I believe we call that calf Donalee after the matriarch of their ranch. The end result of all this is that “Chester Fried Chicken” our very black cow has a very white calf and as of tonight there is no more milking duty for a while. Russ said he was praying for a set of twins, he was ready for that task to be over for a while.

This spring we upgraded our security camera situation. This meant that yesterday morning, as I was putting the finishing touches on a funeral service, I got a call from Morgan wondering if I could check on a cow in the pole shed, using the camera. I relocated my laptop to the kitchen counter where I could look up and see the camera display. This was thoroughly distracting. Despite my attention I missed the moment of birth. However the following twenty minutes where I got to watch the Mom and calf doing what instinct told them to do were heartwarming. They were a great pair. It was fascinating to watch the calf try to stand and fall over, and try again. It was inspiring really. Its all a miracle. The funeral service suffered a bit but my heart was warmed.

I am really blessed. I am halted in writing about my blessings by some worries. One of these is that I don’t want to give the impression that things are all sunshine and roses at our house because they aren’t. However I can’t really write about what the struggles are because of respect for the privacy of others. None of us in our family are living without struggles of one kind or another. We all have things we are trying to figure out. I can say this about myself….I find it humbling how much I am still trying to figure out about myself and life given that I am closer to 60 than 55. Given that is the truth I am sure glad the following things are happening.

Gina has now been in Toronto for over three years and is being recognized at work and in community theatre for her abilities with leadership, humor, teaching and horsemanship. I will be with her in a month to see the show that she is choreographer for. Yesterday Gina told us that one of the theatre board members encouraged her to consider directing and told her she loves her teaching style. Russ and I are so proud of her for venturing into territory where she is challenging herself and discovering all the gifts she has.

Jill has been accepted into the College of Education in Regina and we have just put an offer in on a condo that she can call home for the next years. I am thankful to think she will no longer be paying rent. I am thankful that she has discerned this path for herself after a year of general studies and I am thankful for her gifts. This week she just casually mentioned in the family chat that she got a $375 prize for getting the top mark in the music class she took in the fall. One of the things I am touched by in Jill’s life is that she is very creative. She just told me that she has achieved platinum membership status at Michael’s craft store. This earns her some discounts and reflects that her purchases have exceeded over $1000 in the last year. As she pondered this figure with me she reasoned that she doesn’t have alot of vices beyond yarn so its okay. I am with her in how she is reasoning this out!

Morgan is home and it is so good to have him back. He is a huge help to Russ as calving season gets going and I have noticed within myself a deep contentment at taking care of him a bit. He drops subtle or not so subtle hints about food he hopes I will make and I find it pretty darn easy to oblige. He is a grateful customer in our kitchen and that makes a big difference. Almost every day he has me wondering, “how did he think that up so fast?”, refering to some witty comment he throws into a conversation that seems to have taken him about .5 seconds to come up with. I enjoy this so much. If things go as he hopes he will be off to school in the fall so I am enjoying these days while they are here.

Time has passed……its now Thursday……..calving is now in the very serious stage, we are recording alot of births in a day and thankful for some beautiful weather this week. Currently we are holding our breath, there is a winter storm in Saskatchewan, we have wind and cold but no snow yet.

We had a super exciting morning on Tuesday when after being closely watched for a month Sadie had a baby. Sadie is a beautiful horse that belongs to our friend David and lives here with us. She had been bred to our donkey “Elton John”, and indeed, as expected, that colt arrived with long perky ears. Anja discovered the birth, she spotted it on the security camera and told me how she stole my rubber boots and hustled out to the corral for a close look. That will be a memorable part of her time in Canada this year.

I had a conversation with Gina I want to record because it made me laugh. We often talk while she is enroute home from work, this means the background noise of the city streets, the stores she stops in and the transit system is a normal part of our visits. This week one of our talks was paused while she paid for purchases at a convenience store somewhere. I am realizing that as I write this I have a total picture of the setting in my mind. I have concocted a scene from a movie, set in New York City, the store is long, narrow and dark, the till at the front is crowded with stuff and Gina is leaning in to hear the clerk. That is how I have imagined it. Chances are I am wrong. Anyways, while I listened to Gina interact with the clerk it was clear that he had make a mistake, he had not charged Gina for one of the things that was in her order. She was relaxed and forgiving as he apologized for making her do a second transaction and I just enjoyed listening to her interact with him. Afterward I told Gina that I enjoyed listening to her being easy with a person who seemed flustered, that I was proud of her for being someone who didn’t get put out when things aren’t perfect. She thanked me for the feedback and went on to say something about it being kind of ridiculous how some people can’t cope when things aren’t ideal, she described an experience where a group she was with got completely stalled in their effort to go out together because everyone had a different idea of where they wanted to eat. She then described what her inner voice was saying at that time, she did it with a really gravelly tone and it struck me so funny. She said, “we ALL have needs, get in the car!” This is not that funny and she was not trying to be funny. But it struck me funny. Why? I suspect it was because it was one of the truest things I had heard in a long time, coming from someone who spends her days sharing space with a multitude of people and animals and sorting out who needs what and what needs are pressing and what her own needs are and what she can push for. The fact is, at some point, we just all need to get in the car and make some movement, and do some compromising and friggin enjoy being in the car together, cause thats what we probably need more than the perfect dining experience. I think that is what I delighted in, it was the unexpected way that a very true statement rose up with gravelly conviction.

Well, the rest of life is calling me and as usual, I am getting long here. I don’t make it to the blog often enough but I sure do love writing once I get here.

Until next time.

Kathy

There is peace in the animal kingdom when its treat time. Everyone patiently waits their turn. I love it.

We had a big volunteer crew checking cows on the weekend. I love how during their break almost everyone had a critter to cuddle, Russ had a calf.

One day this week Russ figured he could steal away for a couple hours and he came to town with me. We got our first ice cream of the year at Oriole’s, or as some call it “Ice Cream Jean’s” and he came with me for groceries. He came straight from the pasture so I got to go shopping with a cowboy. I have to admit, I love the jingle of the spurs.

Gina as choreographer conferring with the director at practice. I love the vibe of this picture.

Jill and I have had lots of time together lately, the two of us went to Saskatoon for Easter with our family there and we enjoyed the time for picking up Anja.

Morgan goofs around with the pets after almost every meal. It gets a bit much sometimes but brings life too. I don’t think Pyrenees dogs are supposed to be so cuddly but Nalla loves to be loved.

When I Get Old……

When I was attending seminary in Saskatoon back in the 90s I worked at a nursing home as a care aide. There was a woman who lived there who needed very little assistance and I spent little time with her. However, every time I checked in on her she gave me the sense that she had created her own cocoon and she was deeply content there. My memory is that her room contained handiwork hobbies, books and photo albums. I don’t remember that ladies name now but I think of her on a regular basis. She stirred in me a desire to have photo albums prepared for my old age, so that I could sit and enjoy things a second time around. Perhaps the time would then not feel so long.

In the years since I worked at Stensrud Lodge technology has shifted the way I process and record my thoughts and memories. I have a couple boxes of photo albums but most memories of becoming a Mom of 3 and becoming a ranch woman are in digital format. What my old age entertainment will look like is going to be quite different from what I imagined. If digital vaults hold strong I guess I might be pulling up this blog to re-read, as a 90 year old woman. I am assuming alot to envision myself well at 90 but I am working towards that.

I think it will make my 90 year old self smile to remember these things.

When Jill learned of a blanket project to comfort those involved in a recent school shooting she set to work crocheting blocks to mail to the project coordinator.

I like to imagine the lucky kid who gets a blanket with the cat square on it. I picture that child petting the cats and giving them names. I think that is what childhood Kathy would have done.

In this picture the sunflower square is my favorite, the green Minecraft I only know about because Jill told me what it is.

Another thing I want to remember is my experience of being Russell’s right hand man last night. Morgan had gone to a fundraiser and Anja is fighting a bad cold so Russ phoned me when the work he was doing to pull a calf had maxed him out. The weirdest thing happened when Russ passed me the handles of the chains so that I could apply my best effort to pulling that calf from its very tight quarters. I crouched and hung back to use my body weight for extra leverage and then I pulled using every muscle I could from my head to my toes. In that posture, with that focus, in the midst of that activity my mind went to a place I last occupied 19 years ago when Morgan was born. I just felt that if I could give it my all something would shift in the position of the calf, its how that worked last time for me. It wasn’t enough this time, we ended up attaching a tool we have to apply more leverage/pull and still that calf was not easily released. Russ yelled at me to adjust something I had no idea about, I screeched back at him to explain, he did, I did it, we moved on. Then he ordered me to go around to the other side of the chute, open the side door, and support the calf as it was part way out but in grave danger if it just hung there out of alignment. I held its head the wrong way. Russ barked at me to go the other way. He tried to get me aligning the calf’s shoulders better. I was in brand new territory and feeling super stupid. I was feeling a bit prickly about being yelled at but the life of the calf was at stake and deep down I understood. Also, Russ never yells at me except at times like this so I managed not to get my shirt in a knot even though I am very sensitive. When the calf was out Russ was whooped. He passed me the pulling chains and told me to either carry or drag the calf to the straw. It didn’t look very alive and I was nervous. Once to the straw I heard the command to get the chains off and get out of the way, he wanted to let that cow go to its calf. As I fumbled with the chains, excitement grew cause that little calf was springing to life like a shaken pop bottle. It started shaking its head and flicking its ears and I was thrilled. I got the chains off and got the heck out of the way. Our work was done. I am so thankful for how all that unfolded. When the fever of the moment had passed Russ returned to his more tender self and thanked me sincerely for the help. He later wrote on the ranch chat that I was strong and fast and perfect. Hindsight involves rose colored glasses sometimes.

The story is not quite finished yet because today at lunch Morgan wanted the details of how the pull had gone. My story telling got quite vivid. I told Anja, Russ, Morg and Ron about how I was transported to that spot in my thinking where I was back in labor. Then I imitated myself doing the labor breathing that I actually did do in the midst of the pull last night. It was I think slightly overwhelming and a bit too much information for Morgan and perhaps he was also slightly enjoying his mother but what he said was “and you wonder why I don’t want to live with my parents!?” For me, the chance to be goofy and light hearted with it felt like the perfect ending to that story, the perfect way to put to rest the stress and tension within the story.

When I am 90 and sitting in my rocking chair with whatever device will allow me to read my blog, warmed with a blanket Jill has crocheted for me, one with replicas of all the dogs and cats I have ever loved attached to it, I will read about a day when Russ and I were strong and in the business of saving lives. Hopefully he will be able to hear me read it aloud to him, we will ponder it and Russ, who has an incredible memory will say, “you gave me a butterscotch chip cookie after that breathing performance.” Hopefully.

A few pictures from this time…..

Russ called me at 7am today asking me to check the heifers, by camera or in person every 20 minutes, the extreme cold weather is very threatening to a new born. He and Morgan were in the calving pasture dealing with a problem there. I took this selfie before heading out. So you can picture it better, (if you want to lol) this is what I was wearing while acting out the calf pulling. I look a little crazy even without the replay.

Russ can’t believe that we have a barn cat who loves ranching as much as our cat Wolf does. Every time he impresses Russ with his insistence on being part of the action Russ gets me involved, glimpsing the action in some way. Today Wolf stayed in the saddle even when Russ got off to deal with stuff. I have a very fuzzy picture of that and this one of him with Russ in the saddle.

After lunch today Russ went to our neighbors the Norths and picked up an extra calf they had after twins were born. Our cow S.E. HInton lost her calf a couple days ago, Russ and Morg kept her milk flowing, an adoption is now in progress. I think this is a lovely picture of peace amongst differences.

Thats it for this installment of things I want to remember. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Kathy

Putting Words to It

On Saturday night Russell and I hosted a party to celebrate our 25th anniversary. We were so nervous and excited leading up to it but also aware that things can get overwhelming. We therefore invited only family and ranch crew to a supper and then others joined us after for a dance. There are so many stories to be told arising from how the night unfolded, I hope to do some writing about them, but in this post I am sharing the speech that I made during a brief program we had after supper. Reading it over again now it strikes me its one of the shortest speeches I have ever made. The file was named……

SPEECH FOR 25

While sitting with Jill eating breakfast in Regina I said to her, “I don’t know why I feel the need to make a speech but I do.” Soon after it kind’ve bubbled up in me, yes I do know why I feel the need. This is a deeply meaningful point to arrive at and I am used to speeching in the midst of life’s meaningful moments.

This is a deeply meaningful moment to arrive at. Why? Perhaps because of all the moments where we wondered if we were going to make it this far. In our case that is because of the normal reality of marriage stress and also because every day Russell walks out the door he is doing risky things. So for all the forces that allowed us to make it this far, forces like Russell’s self-preservation instinct when facing down dangerous work moments and the thirst we both had to return to closeness when forces of anger, fear and pride were building walls between us, we are thankful. Woven into all that is the mysterious way that God’s goodness was fuelling our days and our fight to keep us whole.

It’s a meaningful moment because the 25 years since we said “I do” have held so much wonder. We have been supremely, supremely blessed. When I say that I mean that we had the opportunity to have Gina, Jill and Morgan. Looking back at our journey with them, from the vantage point we now have, I think that Russ and I would both say that being parents to them has been among the most interesting and meaningfully fun things we have done. They created focus and purpose to every day life, from June 25, 2002 when we met Gina until September 16^th of this year when Morgan drove away for his first adult adventure. We have not had very many days of marriage where we were able to think about ourselves first. Having said that, with two puppies currently in our world we are still not free, we are now negotiating who does early morning and late night walks with a puppy who will not listen and come back to the house on her own when there are cows nearby to herd. “Where’s the leash?” is the new refrain at our house. Russ and I ponder that our children carry a bit of a burden being our kids, we hope that through them our values and our mission to bring light into the world will carry on.

I find myself wanting to talk a little bit about what I remember when I think about the days when Russell and I were deciding to get married. I mean that how it sounded. Deciding is an action word, it was a process. I was a city girl deciding if I could and should commit to living a life that was far from my roots and opportunities. Russ had a bit of a mixed reputation and I wasn’t sure about linking my wagon to his star. Here is what pulled me toward him though…….I enjoyed him so much. For some reason the idea of living my life with regrets has always been something I wanted to avoid. As I pondered the option of saying No to a marriage proposal I had an image pop up in my brain. I could see myself on the streets in downtown Saskatoon some day after leaving Gainsborough and Carievale. Seeing a diesel truck pulling a horse trailer coming down the streets I pictured myself becoming fascinated by it and more than that my heart aching with hurt and regret. That image gave me a sense of permission to marry Russell. About Russell’s mixed reputation, over the years people have at times commented that I don’t have three children, being married to Russell I have four. Perhaps this was meant to be funny but it always made me angry. I think I sensed from the beginning that Russ could pair his fun loving ways, his shirking of norms for what it means to “be a man,” with his incredible ability to bear responsibility, pain, stress and work. I have pondered, how many men can bear the weight of the world on their shoulders and remain as playful as a child. Russell is gifted and I have been the lucky beneficiary of his many gifts. I am a very analytical and practical person, this led me to some work as I lay in bed the morning of our wedding. If I was going to get up and go say “I do” I wanted to be crystal clear in my head, why. I counted on my fingers all the reasons I was planning to marry Russell, I counted 21. I think I tell you these anecdotes because I love celebrating Russell. We all deserve to be celebrated but its my place to celebrate Russell because I have very rarely regretted my decision to link my wagon to his star.

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Following the speech I shared a few pictures from our wedding and some big days since. I did a bit of explaining, then started a 3 song slide show. Here are the wedding pictures that came before.

My sister Linda escorted me down the aisle as the wedding began. My Dad was not able to, dementia was affecting him.

We were married in the church I grew up in, Knox United in Saskatoon.

My sisters Janet and Margie are seen singing on the left side of this picture. Our family friend Pat Deibert accompanied them singing “The Prayer”, a haunting song that begins with these words, “I pray you’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go, and help us to be wise, in times when we don’t know.” It seemed very fitting. Pat is playing a piano purchased with a donation from my brothers estate after he passed away. It has a plaque with his name on it. This is special for me to think about. Russ and I had been signing the register at this point.

A panorama shot of the reception. It was held in the hall at St. Martin’s United church in Saskatoon where I did some of my training and joined the congregation.

We had a roping dummy and Invited our guests to give it a try. In this moment Russ is trying to teach me.

On the 20th anniversary of our engagement, on August 6th, 2020 we had a vow renewal service in our yard with our minister Susan Reed leading us.

In September 2021, we traveled to Newfoundland as a 20th anniversary trip. We hired a photographer to meet us at Cape Spear which is the most eastern point of North America. We filled a whole suitcase with our wedding clothes. This was pretty corny! However we got this picture! I have always been taken by it. With the road to Cape Spear in its background the truth of this picture is that we stand with our whole world stretched out behind us. What is rather amazing is that soon after this our ranch life would expand to include many people from Switzerland and Germany and also Norway. Our ranch family would soon include folks from Nova Scotia. It feels like these moments, teetering on the edge of North America are actually part of some magnetic pull that starting bringing people meant to join us, into our world.

The Kettles Go to the Symphony

In mid September Russ and I got on a plane in Winnipeg, less than three hours later we were in Montreal and ready for some days where we planned to spend time with friends and family and see a few sights. There are a few stories to tell from our days there. Here is the first one……drawn out a bit to paint a picture.

My cousin David and his partner live just outside of Montreal. David is a musician through and through and as luck would have it he was planning to be in Montreal while we were there. He was singing with a choir alongside the Montreal Symphony Orchestra. Once I learned this it was pretty easy for me to decide that I wanted to attend that symphony and Russ was open to it. The tickets were bought and the plan made. We met David and Lyne for a very early supper and then enjoyed a walk around Old Montreal. Lyne’s family history goes way back and we absorbed her joy in sharing a few important spots linked to her family. At one point as we walked David and I got ahead and Russ and Lyne lagged behind a bit. These moments of one on one time with Lyne sealed the deal for Russell, he felt very connected to her by the end of our time together. It is so nice when bonds and bridges get built and you can feel the effect of them. Also in those moments Russ was greatly amused by the sight of David and I ahead, both fast walkers, both with grey curly hair that bounced as we walked. I treasure whatever threads of “family” show themselves when given the chance, Russell’s observation of those bouncing curls makes me smile as I sit here.

David left us to get prepared at the concert hall and we enjoyed more time with Lyne. Eventually she walked us to the Place des Arts and Russ and I entered the world of the Montreal Symphony. It was so fun and at one level deeply familiar. With Jill performing at the Arts Centre in Regina so much over the last few years we are used to the theatre vibe; the ticket scans from our phones, the buzz of anticipation in the foyer and the large venue. This was different though. We were navigating a different language, the facility was only 20 years old and beautiful, and as we pondered the stage we saw ten cellos warming up and the biggest bass we had ever set our eyes on. This was going to be something.

What unfolded in the first half was beautiful, I found myself noting sounds that seemed perfect as they blended together, the mastery of the music was incredible. I marveled at the 78 year old bass soloist, I delighted in finding my cousins curly grey hair and checking in on him throughout, I watched eagerly as the percussion team did their thing, I really love drums. Soon enough intermission happened. We went from our third floor balcony down to the second floor and got in line at the bar. While on holidays we make it our treat to enjoy beer when opportunity arises, this was an opportunity.

Its hard to explain the set-up exactly, just picture us being among the first to arrive in the line, picture a bit of a struggle behind the bar to handle the influx of people and receive payments, picture a bit of a “make your request and move over there” vibe (but in French at first), and then imagine that when all was said and done Russ and I were behind a roped off area, standing at tall bar tables, each with a beer in hand and visiting with each other. That is when a very polished looking gentleman came over to us, he was on his own and he asked if he could join us (in French), once we established that our French was very limited he made his best effort in English. He was very friendly and we got a bit acquainted quite quickly. Perhaps learning that we are ranchers from Saskatchewan is what prompted the question he asked that instantly made me feel like Ma Kettle. He said (picture his French accent) something like this, “so you are friends of the symphony or with the youth circle?” I don’t remember the exact terms but how he said it made it suddenly dawn on us that we were not supposed to be in the roped off area, we were to be with the common folk loitering elsewhere, not in the space meant to reward donors. The country folk had arrived, blown right past the signs they didn’t understand and were acting like they belonged there!!!! We stammered for a second and started to apologize but before we could he said, “I’m not security, stay!” So we did.

This whole thing struck us so funny, but I am not sure it is funny. If it is, what is it that makes it funny?

I think it could have something to do with the contrast of our self identity as country bumpkins rubbing up against the classy folk of Montreal. It definitely has something to do with the bumbling that was part of it. Its like we tripped, almost fell but then landed safely on our feet, with our drinks upright, right there behind those ropes, except it was language we tripped on. Further, once given a blessing to be there we mastered the “fake it til you make it” approach. That approach holds some suspense, when will the “faking it” not work and the “making it” end? We were giggling and it still makes us smile to remember.

One more thing happened that tickled our fancy. A stranger came over after our first stranger friend moved on, the new stranger just had to meet the guy wearing the cowboy boots because she too was wearing western boots. Experiencing her delight made us feel like there was space for us in this classy environment and not only that we were actually kindv’e cool.

I think this story delights me because it brings to mind those entertaining TV shows of my youth where according to my memory Ma and Pa Kettle regularly embarrassed themselves but kept trying with every opportunity they were given. Our story also connects with questions of identity. I have never felt at ease among people who are fancy, certain I will not live up to expectations. This story had us feeling like we were staying afloat among the fancy folks. Beyond the sense of permission we were given what gave us the courage to stay once we were found out? I think there was a certain confidence we gained from being at each others side. I feel our holiday ease, excitement and time with David and Lyne meant we had a noticeable little joy glow, maybe that was appreciated. At some level we knew that a cowboy at the symphony is inherently different and made us interesting. Another thing is that at our age I think we are absorbing more fully than we have before that “Jesus Loves Me” is not just a sentimental song lyric, its our truth, we are loved and loveable, just as we are. That is something. That is a big something.

Here are a few pictures.

This is the view from our seats as the symphony came to a close, there was a standing ovation. My cousin David is in the chorus on the right side, just under that arrow I added to the picture.

David, Lyne and I during our walk. Old Montreal is so beautiful.

Two cousins with bouncing curly hair go for a walk.

Grace

Over a month ago I started this blog, the timing in it may seem odd as you read it.

Our boy Morgan is not a boy anymore, that seems to be getting quite official in the days after his 18th birthday, sliding into his grade 12 graduation.

In the midst of the storm that is created by the converging of very special days, calving season weariness and my personal limits as a woman inching closer to 60, I received a gift of grace. Our friends Patrick and Jenn were happy to host a joint graduation party for Morgan and his friend Rhett, Patrick’s son. It is hard to fully relate how much of a relief this was for Russ and I. We want to celebrate Morgan with all the bells and whistles he deserves but for a few reasons we are not doing well with getting that kind of action going. This party, at their place, with overall co-ordination by Pat was such a help to Russ and I. I have a few pictures.

We had this cake made at the Oxbow Co-op. It was delicious!

We have many shared friends with Griff and his circle, the party made sense, but we also were able to invite folks like Bonnie and Roy. They have been a part of Morgan’s life always, and have helped fill the holes left by our losses.

Morg and Griff cut the cake, Grandma Shirley absolutely loved watching them tackle this. “No two pieces were the same size!” she said. We agreed that was good, for varying appetites.

Old friends seeing one another was a splendid part of the night.

I learned something about entertaining this night. Pat was organized and relaxed and it made a great setting. I usually try to pack too much in when I entertain, guests find me rushing, perhaps flustered, maybe quite readily inclined to swear under my breath at the slightest hiccup or frustration. Pat did things a little differently than I do, this contributed to the relaxed feeling. Once the food was laid out he invited people to eat whenever they were ready. This meant no lines and also a sense that the meal wasn’t the main event, being together was. I got the message, “lets enjoy being together and when you are hungry, there is food over there.” I can say food wasn’t the main event but it had been beautifully prepared, and there was abundance. The smoked meat and salads were an event, just not the main event. That’s how it felt to me. The main event was our boys, our pride in them, and our desire to celebrate them with those who love them almost as much as we do.

I am thankful to Pat and Jen, they gave me an experience of warm relaxed hospitality and celebration and also significantly helped Russ and I with what was on our plate.

In the days since I started this blog both boys have officially graduated and summer is here. Here are the graduates on their special days….

Morgan receives his diploma from the vice principal who happens to be his good buddies Mom, Mrs. Wolf.

This was Griff’s grad day and Pat is seen helping with the finishing touches on the outfit.

At the parade held after the Carnduff grad ceremonies it was getting a bit chilly, here Jen and Clare are ready and waiting for the floats to go by. I think they were both pretty proud of Morgan but especially Jen. She has been a major friend, supporter and source of fun to Morgan perhaps for as long as he can remember.

Grace was the word that came to mind as the summary theme and title for this blog because Morgan, Russ and I didn’t really do our share in the work for the party that Pat and Jen held. There was no tallying of hours spent in prep or dollars spent on food, but if there had been I know it would show that we did not do our share. There was one rule we all seemed to grasp, “do what you can.” Maybe there was another rule, one that I had trouble grasping, “don’t worry.” Maybe this is what it means to live in a state of grace more generally speaking. We don’t have to be superheroes, who are remarkably efficient, flexible and impressive, we just have to do what we can, and surround ourselves with others who are doing what they can, we give and receive, and trust that will be enough, that we are enough and we don’t need to worry about that. Graduation 2025 held a good lesson for me, it was a lesson that lines up with my faith but I have a hard time really living and believing. It is, “just do what you can Kathy, receive from others and me – God, don’t worry if you are enough, you are.”

The Yellow Brick Road

A couple of months ago my sister Margie suggested us girls do something that on the surface seemed absolutely ridiculous. “Let’s go to Vancouver for a day,” she suggested.

If we went for it on the day she proposed we could celebrate Margie and her twin sister Jan’s 55th birthday together and take in the very last musical that Jan will produce, she has decided to retire as an elementary school music teacher at the end of June. A great flight price made the decision easy, we were going, Linda, Jodi and Margie from Saskatoon, me via Regina. Margie suggested that we surprise Jan, I have mixed feelings about surprises, but with all that Jan had to keep track of already the surprise idea felt okay.

I thought maybe the surprise had been leaked when I posted on Facebook that I needed a ride to Regina on Monday. Jan, whom we wanted to surprise, commented on that post “whatcha up to?” I thought, “oh she knows something and she is fishing!” Margie later told me there was great concern from the Saskatoon group that I had started the unraveling of our secret. My reply to her comment was a detailed description of why I needed that ride, and it wasn’t a lie. Our friends from Halifax had taken my car to the Regina airport on Friday, I needed to pick it up. She didn’t need to know that my car would stay over an extra day so that I too could fly! My ride left early Monday, Dee and I had a great visit and it seemed like a miracle when we were already arriving at Jill’s apartment in Regina. Jill and I had time to shop, and go out for lunch and supper. At supper I got a fortune cookie that underscored the importance of what we were up to.

Jill tucked me in early, I figured with no luggage to check I could arrive at the airport at 5am for a 6am flight. Oh dear. I was a bit optimistic. This is me at 5:17am, in a long slow moving line at security. (Although clearly the empty lanes behind me reveal it could have been a much longer line, it was long for Regina.) My outfit reveals poor color matching. I didn’t care, the sweater was only for the morning and was a nod to my Dad who first wore it back in the 60s. He would have been thrilled by the day that was set to unfold.

They boarded our flight very early, so as my bag and laptop were flagged for extra screening I could hear the Westjet lady calling for me and several others over the PA system. By the time security figured out the problem, a pocket knife attached to my car keys, and two humongous bolts in the bottom of my backpack I was hearing, “would Katherine Kyle PLEASE report to gate 6!” The knife was small, I was allowed to keep it, the bolts were pitched, I apologized, ran for the gate and straight onto the plane. A brain fogged ranch wife can sincerely answer the question “do you have anything sharp in your bag?” with a sweet “no, I don’t think so” when calving season induced weariness is the reality and the day your husband sent you off to buy bolts “just like this” is a distant memory. I had no idea those bolts were in there. Pretty uneventful flights saw me getting off the plane in Vancouver at 9:30am and straight into the arms of Margie, Jodi and Linda. Our adventure together had begun.

We enjoyed Vancouver until noon when we showed up at Janet’s school. We had called the secretary when the plans were being made to get assurance that we could actually come in and see the dress rehearsal. She was our partner in crime when she paged Mrs. Nordstrand to please come to the office. She took a video that included this moment when we all emerged from a side hallway and started singing happy birthday.

Margie brought this banner, something she ordered online. Here we are, the four travelers and Jan, after she had recovered from the shock.

I have absolutely loved the rare chances I have had over the years to see Janet in action. There is something I find so compelling when I get to see anyone living out their giftedness, but when music is involved, and family, it is that much more stirring. Jan is gifted. The picture below was among my favorite moments from “The Wizard of Oz”, Jan with arms held high as she guided her students in what was a fantastic finale, including all of this cast. The other cast had their dress rehearsal in the morning. Jan’s husband retired earlier this year, he took on the challenging role of sound co-ordinator and did much set work. He is beside Jan.

Jan and Ray’s dog Belle played Toto in the opening part. It is ridiculous how proud I was of my niece dog. She did so well.

Jan worked closely with many staff to make this musical happen, it is a passion she shares with many to give kids these opportunities. It was amazing to see the entire student body become involved as things unfolded. This finale was so big and deep.

The gift of the day was time among my people, the people I have spent special days with for my entire life. They know me in a unique way and of course are a concrete connection to my Mom and Dad. In this next photo my cousin Jodi sits beside me at an outdoor patio where we had supper altogether and could include Belle. We were lucky Jan and Ray’s schedule was clear after school.

We had a “fight” about whether Jan would drive us to the airport or we would Uber there as was our plan. We wanted Jan to rest. She wanted to squeeze in more minutes. I am glad she won the fight. We had fun in the car and got some memorable photos at the airport.

I get a little mushy sometimes, I know it’s not always ideal. But the joy and tightness in this last picture speaks to me. The bond that twin life can hold is something. We have so many family pictures that catch moments like this, our old pictures reveal two little girls finding their way in the world. All of us are now REALLY launched, on our own, our parents aren’t here to help us be friends. But…. a great seat sale and a single day off allowed for family time. When I researched the symbolism of the yellow brick road it had varying meaning. So I will claim my take on it. To follow the yellow brick road is to find one’s way home. As I get older, home is not so much a place as it is a feeling. It was such a deep good feeling to concretely express love for our Janet. That spot in Inman school where she held her heart as she beheld us kindv’e felt like…. home. On June 3rd the yellow brick road had some tense moments, by the end of the day I had had to run straight onto two flights. It all reminds me that family takes work, there is sweat involved, there are questions of safety and security to be felt through. There is turbulence. I am thankful we have found our way to a sense of home in each others’ presence and knowing what that means, how significant that is, we take that back to where we each live and work.

Glimpses of the Season

Hi! Well, its calving season at the Bar MW and things are perking along.
Between the people and the cow action this is a very interesting place to be a 56 year old woman. I don’t quite know how to write about our days, where to put the focus, so here are a bunch of captioned pictures.

Calving started early, is about half done and has been marked by mostly decent weather and normal losses, so far. The odd thing about this season is that we are half way through and have had only one set of twins. We had so many last year. I haven’t heard any chatter or done research yet about what the difference might be caused by.

In the pictures that follow these big things come up: our girls were home for Easter, we have hired a young woman to help us til late summer and Russ had an injury.

This first picture is one Gina took as she and Jill headed to the ranch with Jill’s cat “Mayonnaise Head”. (There is a seriously good reason for the name.) Its such a fun picture of Jill. It is really handy to have Jill in Regina and able to do airport pickups.

We had our celebration breakfast after the girls got to the ranch. This was my view as I grabbed the last thing from the kitchen. This does a Mama’s heart good.

Russ and I with our kids home.

The next day I was up in time to catch glimpses of the crew before they headed out for the morning check. This first picture is Gina, who usually finds herself on a Toronto bus or subway first thing in the day.

I love this picture of Jill. She is so darn cute. She has become really good with crocheting and made this hat she is wearing.

And introducing…….Clare Olver. After having our friend Anja with us for the last two calving seasons we realized how valuable extra help is with the work of the season. Clare was with us last summer for three weeks as we dealt with summer work, that led to Russ knowing she would be a good match for the work he needed help with this spring. Clare is quite amazing, she has the flexibility, stamina and humor to live the days we live, she has quickly become accustomed to working from a horse every day and she has won over the hearts of all the friends we have introduced her to.

The morning crew as they headed out to check the heifers.

We have been blessed to have friends around on lots of different days as we have needed to move calved out pairs out of the calving pasture. On this particular day we had many helpers altogether.

I came out to the barn after lunch on Easter Sunday and grabbed a few pictures.

I was still in my church clothes, Gina was ready to cowboy. She had forgotten to take her spurs off as she hustled out the door to church in the morning after the early check. I am not sure my ancestors could have imagined one of their own showing up to Easter Sunday celebrations with spurs on, but the times they are a changing and I was very grateful to have her there.

Later in the day Gina came flying up the hill and I was able to catch the moment.

I have always said that watching Russ ride is like seeing poetry in motion. I am struggling to find the words to describe what I see when Morgan is on a horse. Its kind’ve like he was born there. In fact his birth was a straightforward hospital delivery with no horse in sight. He was in his Dad’s arms on a saddle, going top speed, chasing horses within 8 months of his birth. It shows and I see it in this picture.

We made a few memories at the table as we celebrated Easter. We are still talking about the whipped potatoes that Tammy brought to share. We haven’t had Christmas or Easter with Gina since 2021 so it was pretty great to be gathered altogether with our people.

The next morning we had another photo shoot with Liz Griffin. I am slowly making progress on our book about ranching but we need more pictures of calving season. We took the chance to do that while Gina and Jill were home and while lots of calves were being born. I was Liz’s driver through the pasture as we tracked what the cowboys were doing and kept close tabs on a cow that was calving. We got some pretty real images I think.

Liz did a sneak peek release of this picture on her facebook page. I love it!

After the photo shoot Liz joined us for coffee. We got to tell her how the winning knight crowned me “the queen of love and beauty” at the Medieval times show we attended in Toronto. I came home with this sash and crown, we have had fun sharing it with our visitors. Here Clare modeled it for Liz.

Around supper time, while moving pairs one of our grumpy cows charged and hit Russell’s horse and she hit it hard. This made Sundance buck and despite Russell’s best effort, staying on his horse so long and traveling such a distance that the grumpy cow was no longer a threat when Russ hit the ground, well, he hit the ground, and his glasses broke his fall, and broke, and cut him and the impact fractured his eye socket. Before the following picture was taken at 10:40 at night we had been to the Oxbow ER, Dr. Botha had stitched Russ up and ordered an immediate CT scan at Estevan to ensure there was no blain breed. He had also hooked us up with a specialist in Regina to assess vision issues. We had brought a farm truck to Oxbow, thinking we were only going for stitches, but when it became apparent we needed to go on, with my Bronco in the shop getting struts replaced, and not confident at all that the old farm truck would get us all the way to Regina I borrowed a vehicle from my friend Sandy in Oxbow. What a gift to have generous and supportive friends. We got the CT scan done and were in Regina by 1:30am.

Russell’s specialist appointment was at 11am so we took the chance to snoop around a few stores, we needed to buy Russ some clean clothes. Before Lammles opened we got sunglasses at Dollorama to perk up his look and went to check out the Lindt chocolate situation at London Drugs. To Russell’s delight the bunnies were on for less than half price, I picked out two, Russ guffawed, and took a whole flat. The hazelnut Lindt bunnies are his absolute favorite, he calls them “my guys”.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, our kids, Clare and Ron were the crew handling calving and the weather had turned snowy overnight. Here is Gina dressed for the conditions.

Here is how things looked in the pasture as Jill, Coffee dog, Maddie dog, Clare and Morgan headed out to check the heifers. Gina sent us this picture and made us proud but also slightly concerned. These are tough ranching days. We had offers of help from Laurie and David but the kids said they could handle it. Morgan said there were times it was “Lord of the Flies” but they got through it. They did a really good job, most everything was in order when Russ and I returned.

As Russ and I returned from Regina the girls were driving there, Gina had a plane to catch and Jill was due back at work. We met part way for supper and good bye hugs. The next day I took this picture as Russ modeled the crown for the queen of love and beauty and showed off his clean stitches.

There is a little story about why we recently started collecting bunnies. It led to a seasonal “bunny tree” in our hallway. When Russ got a minute he nestled all his treasured Lindt chocolate bunnies among the others. It is very cute.

This is my absolute favorite shelf.

The fact that Clare can smile when the weather is iffy, the days are long and she sees her boss get hurt is simply amazing. From this angle you would never know that Russ was not tip top.

I still find it pretty bizarre that this is my life. So I take selfies when I am doing things where I surprise myself. I have taken care of lots of calves, this should therefore not be surprising to me, but it is. I was getting a bottle into a calf.

The calf I was feeding was in the trailer which allowed me to see some of the crew at work that day. Cousin Jenn was part of the crew.

Friday we were back into Regina for a consult with a plastic surgeon eye guy regarding Russell’s eye socket. This got Russ a little excited. He thought since he was seeing a plastic surgeon maybe he could put in an order for a new and improved look. He kind’ve had his heart set on looking like Cary Grant. He asked me to cue up a picture of him to show to the surgeon. This is what I found.

Morgan thought it was more likely he would turn out like John Wayne when he was Rooster Cogburn.

Jill put in her two cents. She figured Russ was heading for the look of one of the old guys on the Muppets and sent in this picture.

As it turned out the surgeon is not sure if an operation is actually needed. Time for the swelling to go out will determine that. However, a perk of the trip in to see him was a trip to Costco. As we went in I headed for a cart and saw this guy pictured below. I read his shirt. I was just ahead of Russ and had time to think, “is there any chance that Russ won’t comment to this guy?” Like clockwork I heard Russ say, “hey I like your shirt.” Within 30 seconds he had gained permission to take this picture. I think I might be married to the most uninhibited man in Saskatchewan.

Cowboy David joined the crew on Saturday. They had a tricky job with some extra challenging conditions, including our dog Knightwing acting badly, but these four prevailed and got the job done.

Over the weekend Clare and Morgan made Russell an eye patch so that he could resemble that John Wayne character without having the surgery it required. Its pretty close.

This next picture looks harsh but restraining the animal allows safety for all. While Morgan secured the rope Russ and Clare pulled a calf. Everyone was fine in the end. This is our 2nd calf heifer Hoyt Axton. Clare is starting vet tech training in the fall, she did a clearing of the airways and some massage to get this calf established. Good to have her on hand!

Exactly one hour before I was standing in the pulpit on Sunday morning I was getting a bottle into a calf that wasn’t used to it, it was a bit of a struggle. Russell had phoned me, “if you can leave your sermon prep for a bit we have a really hungry calf in the shed.” Things were under control so I headed out but thinking I could get mucked up I waited to get dressed. Clare caught me but she then took over for me, which helped me alot.

You made it this far……if you have 13 seconds, here is a glimpse of a snowy calving crew.

Here is the end of this post. You made it THIS far…..here is a little craziness, what happens when the “kids” are left alone to calve the cows and come in to warm up? Is this what Morgan meant when he said it got “Lord of the Flies”?

Methods

While in Toronto a few weeks ago I had a chance for some writing time and I was inspired by learning that the International Women’s Day theme for this year was “Empower, Inspire and Elevate.” That got me thinking about my Dad. I wrote a lot. I forgot about it once life at home got rolling until last night when we were with friends, the conversation reminded me I had this almost finished blog waiting for some attention. Here goes……

When I was about 7 my family had the chance to buy some untouched lakefront property. It was140 miles from our house and available for $500. That land changed our families life. We worked together and with friends to clear, shape and build that acre and make for ourself a summer haven. Roads and power became available over time. 99% of my summer memories happened there. When we were teenagers my Dad started something. I don’t know where he got the idea. He was an educator so maybe he just thought like this. However, it seems to me he assessed that he had two issues in front of him. The first is that at the end of the day our waterfront needed to be secure for whatever a night on a big lake might bring. He also had his youngest three daughters around all the time and he had hopes for us. So he created a “position” with a title, and the three of us took turns assuming the role. My memory is that for some days at a time one of us was designated, “water front supervisor.” It was our duty to ensure that as night fell all was well at the lake front, that the canoe was far enough removed from the waters edge, that the boat was up on the trailer. The waterfront supervisor made sure the skis and lifejackets were properly put away, that there were no towels or clothing waiting to be caught by a wind or wave. The supervisor position did not mean that we had to do it all, but we had to enlist help if things needed to be done and ensure that all was ship shape for the night. This role encouraged responsibility and skills in assessment, delegating and leadership. There was a subtle pride in being entrusted with a role that held an important title. We all lived up to it. As an adult I look back at this and think, “my Dad was empowering me.”

I often have thought about a strategy my Dad had when I was much younger. He taught us that if someone was bugging us and wouldn’t stop we should tell them “my Daddy says, if I say quit it, I mean QUIT IT.” As an adult looking back on this line that my Dad taught me I feel mixed. Ideally, as a girl child I would not have had to pull my Dad’s presence into the exchange to get a little respect. However, my Dad knew things about the world that we did not. I often think that maybe our Dad was trying to protect us when he couldn’t be near every second. We could invoke his name but in a way that gave authority to “when I say….I mean….” I think it worked. He taught me that my voice mattered.

Recently I was helping one of my people get cardiac testing done. At the hospital I met a nurse who knew my Dad back in his educator days. She told me that Dad played a role in her life when in her high school years she found herself pregnant. The mores of the time meant she was encouraged to drop out and have her baby. There was a meeting about this. My Dad was present. She gave me a sense that at this meeting it was my Dad’s words that helped turned the tide towards her being able to stay in school, go on to win scholar awards and become a specialized nurse. She remembers Dad saying this, “I have daughters her age and I believe she can do this.” My Dad, a white man, standing a handsome 6ft 6inches tall, with a title that included the word “superintendent”, held a lot of authority at that meeting. He used it to add power to that young woman.

That reminds me of another “I believe” moment with him. When I was in grade six I carried extra weight that was of concern to our doctor. He advised that my sister and I go see a dietician. We were a bit chubby but really mostly healthy. I remember I weighed 127 pounds. One terrible day, after a weigh in at the dietician I was found to have gained more than 4 pounds. My Dad found me in the garage crying when he got home from work. I remember the shame I I was drowning in as I pondered the peanut butter and butter in soda cracker sandwiches I had been over indulging in. That night at supper I am not sure how it came up but Dad proclaimed at the table, “I believe that Kathy is going to get this under control.” Maybe my red tear stained face was being acknowledged. I don’t know. I often wonder how Dad’s words have played into my ability to keep things within a certain range. Its been tricky. For whatever role Dad’s “I believe……” statement of confidence played I am very grateful.

I am noticing through all these anecdotes the role to be played by those who have power. The willingness to share power shows itself in different ways. Helping others to see what they are capable of is one thing. Picture an evening at the cabin and Dad saying, “who is water front supervisor tonight?” Thirteen year old Kathy replies, “I am Dad.”

Putting powerful words into each others vocabulary is another, such as “when I say quit it, I mean quit it!”

Taking public stances advocating for people to be given a chance, to prove themselves, is another way of lending our power (I notice now that when Dad gave that teenage girl his vote of confidence, the way he did it, he gave us girls a compliment too. He essentially said, “I have seen what girls this age are capable of.” )

People with power have opportunity to address shame, such a debilitating force that can be put in its place. I received that gift when my Dad didn’t say the following words but essentially said this, “Kathy loves peanut butter on crackers and don’t we all go crazy for stuff at times, pffft, that’s just one part of her story, she is so much more than that.”

My Dad was far far far from perfect. He was really a jerk at times, so am I. However he had some core wisdom that he lived from. He saw people where they were at and he used his power to build power in others (not perfectly or always consistently but it was his instinct to empower. He was better for it. It did not cost him. The world was better for it. And the world continues to be. I am thinking especially of my three sisters when I say this. They are using the power they have been vested with, from our childhood, their work and study. They are empowering children and adults in so many important ways. They each shine very bright and my Dad would be so delighted to watch it unfold.

I wonder if my Mom took this picture, if so, it subtly includes four generations of women gathered at our family table. I am in the suspenders. My great grandma, sitting in Mom’s usual chair, was born in 1893, there is alot of herstory in this picture.

My Dad at his spot at the table, here is where he sat when he delivered his message to me.

Dad with gloves on, likely working to tame the waterfront. We kept our boat trailer in the water and cranked the boat up every night after finding our boat a long ways from home one morning after a major overnight storm. Dad had naturally curly hair but not this curly. He had a perm here, something he did for his role in Summer Players musical “Oliver.”

Dad and I at my graduation from Queen’s Theological College in 1996. A proud moment. Dad had been diagnosed with frontal lobe brain disease, a form of dementia a few months before this.

With the lake behind us an impromptu family picture in about 1984. Everyday moments made for an empowering childhood. There is so much to be thankful about.

Boil the kettle……

If you were coming over for a visit we would sit down with our mugs and tell each other a few of our stories. Here are a few stories arising from the pictures I have.

Since Christmas I have been obsessed with mugs more than I already was. I have realized what makes a mug perfect for me and I am on the hunt. This one is not perfect but close.

One day this week Ron was in the house briefly, after leaving he popped right back in and said, “there’s a house going down the road!!!” Morgan and Russ were near. We were all enthused. I rushed to the west door to get this picture. It stirred up the incredible excitement we felt when it was our house coming down the road and prompted a little reminiscing. I do not envy the homeowners the myriad details that now unfold before they can move in but its really special to remember how it was for us.

That same day Morgan and I were enroute to town when we saw our neighbor putting some miles on this young horse getting it ready for a big event. It struck me as such a beautiful sight. It made me think of older times. We got ahead of him then stopped and did a little video. Curt stopped when he caught up to us and we had a quick chat.

It was not my idea to apply my glasses to Coffee’s face. However, she does look fetching (pun intended.) Russ and I have had alot of conversations about my glasses this week.

We started a new St. Patrick’s tradition this year, we had pub night in our own house. It was alot of fun. I love an excuse to make nachos.

Morgan got his proof sheet back from his grad photos. I also found this picture of my Dad while working on a project. I am very fascinated by genetics. I find it comforting to see traits being passed down. I put these side by side to see what I could see. I think there is a similarity.

I came across this cowboy rabbit picture earlier this year. Its so cute. We have a room in our house named after a rabbit, thats a bit of a long story, but it meant this picture had to come home with me. Our travels have led us to find a couple others. While in Regina this week I found the crocheted dancing rabbit wearing Bar MW yellow. I brought it home. Her name is Laci.

Bingo’s death has been a hard pill to swallow but we are doing okay, mostly, some of us. Our house is alot quieter. I am not sure I realized what a big presence Bingo dog had. There is way less fighting now, really almost none and honestly thats nice. However I think we all believe her crazy passionate cowdog spirit was worth the noise. Anyways…..we have been comforted this week. A condolence card in the mail, a homemade key fob, and what I call “condolence cookies” have all come our way. People have been so kind with so many words of understanding and concern for us. It seems pet loss is something many of us really understand deeply.

Saturday morning Russell’s whole life plan got turned upside down when a calf was discovered in the calving herd. That first calf arrived about three weeks early. Everything about this was tricky except for the fact that the calf was strong and therefore it made it. When Russ and I went back to check on it a few hours after birth Russ thought he spotted it from a distance, then corrected himself, “that calf is a mineral tub.” A few seconds later, “that mineral tub is moving!”, we had in fact not found the calf we were looking for, we had found a second one. Here it is.

We kept looking for our cow “Pray” and her calf and we found them. Pray was agitated, as she had been when first discovered, there was not much we could do for that calf on the open prairie, its a great thing that it was strong. Why do calves come three weeks early you ask? Because of a rogue bull that must have slipped into our cow pasture for a little fun. We had no idea of this visitor and to expect early calves. We are hoping this doesn’t continue. Just how busy was that bull? It remains to be seen but there were no further calves born today.

Russ spent the rest of yesterday moving snow out of the calving yard so that it could be usable for the herd, hauling a load of bedding and a load of feed and cleaning off the dugout. As a result he missed an old friends’ funeral. As the day wound down a little help from our neighbor Ty allowed us to get the herd gathered up and moved across the road into the pasture around the calving yard. My job was to park sideways across the road and then be a presence in the ditch. I was so relieved when that first cow out the gate didn’t think the best plan was to challenge me and head west to home. She saw the open gate across the road and led the way. Thank you cow!

The job is completed.

I took this next picture for my sister who I was texting with when the guys came in for supper tonight. You might notice that Morgan has had a haircut since the last counter picture. Also, Russ looks relaxed and happy. I believe this is in part because he and Morgan had a pretty outrageously fun time working together today. I was part of it for a while. These two are really something. The bigger picture is that last week Russ got rammed into the end of a gate that our horse “Mickey” abruptly forced his way through. With his hood up and peripheral vision blocked Russ didn’t see it coming. He has been in terrible pain all week, with medicine giving little relief. He finally went to the doctor. Xrays revealed no obvious concerns, he had become convinced he had a broken rib, but apparently not. You would never guess there is anything amiss in this photo. Its the healing power of humor.

Once calving starts in earnest it can be a real whirlwind around here. I have some serious goals around being organized and ready for that. There is a fair bit to do. Hopefully we end up getting a few more weeks before its go time.

A Dramatic Day

(This post was started 10 days ago, references to time might be a bit confusing.)

Yesterday was a big one. A big day. We were moving cows again. Two herds that had been moved from their summer spots to a shared fall pasture were on their way home to their winter home. It was a big group and we had a good sized crew working with us.

As the day started for me I had a bit of ease. I puttered around the kitchen, made some to-go breakfasts for the start up crew, drank some coffee and put alot of thought to my lists for the day. Before the work began in earnest I had the feeling that I wanted to go back to bed and pray. That is not exactly usual for me. I have struggled with prayer my whole life. Lately I think about this, if prayer is about nurturing a relationship with God than I should actually talk to God like a friend, not like someone I am trying to convince to do something. So I find myself pondering my longings and I talk to God about that. On chase days I have so many worries that brew below the surface. My main worry is that someone will get hurt. I also want for people to have a good time and to not suffer. Between the horses, cows, weather and other things there are so many factors that influence every chase day. So I talked to God about my longing for safety. However, in those moments I had to admit to myself that growth comes through challenge, we are not promised a rose garden and I wondered why I and we should be spared trouble when others suffer so greatly. It got a bit serious. I had to back up my request and just say, whatever goes down today God, my desire is that you are walking with us.

It was a day that had its tricky moments but I believe my prayer was heard.

As the kitchen boss I was helped in two big ways. The first is that Friday night Russ and Morgan made a triple batch of chili. Russ thought that would feed 24 people but I knew better so lunch was well along but not totally done when the chili was in the fridge the night before. Russ is very particular about chili, has taken pride in showing Morgan how to make it and I think was genuinely happy to give me support. So the kitchen was a bit of a busy place Friday as I cooked supper while they did their thing. No cross words were heard but I was having a bit of an issue with my turf being shared. I did appreciate all that food ready for the next day I’ll tell you.

The other huge thing is that I had a hard working helper. My 2nd cousin Lisa arrived Friday from Regina. I always knew I was a family person but it becomes clearer in the moments like this, as we worked side by side I said, “Lisa, what would our Grandmas think if they could see us now?” Our grandmas were sisters and we agreed they would delight in the connection that remains after all the years. Lisa stepped in to help whereever she detected a hand was needed. Her presence eased the drama that was stirred up in me as Saturday unfolded.

The first drama was what many readers will already be aware of, that one of our crew was bucked off and his horse escaped. I sense the western nature of how all that unfolded would make a good blog post of its own. I know few details except Morgan tried his hardest to run that horse down, at one point Morgan was on the ground and a part of his tack, the breast strap got broken. I became aware of it all when Russell called. He asked me to sit down immediately and make a facebook post and tag everyone we know, alerting folks to the presence of a run away horse in the midst of a very foggy morning.

As I sat and did this posting Lisa worked away in the kitchen keeping the chicken stew preparations going, monitoring bread baking and just basically being a whole extra brain on the job when mine was absent. I needed that. Once the post was made there was really nothing that we could do to help that situation so we buckled down to work. It was shortly after this that Gina called. She was in a bit of trouble. She had been at an audition outside of Toronto, she had borrowed our friends’ car to get there, she was at a gas station enroute home, reporting in that the car wouldn’t start. From one perpsective this was not a dramatic situation, noone was hurt, there was no damage that was of Gina’s doing, she had already had the audition and was not short of time to get anywhere. But somehow, it held so much drama. There was the, “my kids needs me and I am 2500km away from her” inner tension in me. There was the dawning realization in Gina that her mother and father had no magic solution to get her out of this. There was that terribly uncomfortable dynamic that Gina was driving a borrowed car, making a breakdown even more awkward than it already is. There was the added dimension that I couldn’t stop what I was doing, not really, I had a whole crew of people to feed and not keep waiting. I was therefore scanning my packing list as we talked, collecting the various things we need and making a start at being ready to roll out. However, Gina was getting more upset not less, as the difficulty of the situation became clearer and clearer. She was not able to get ahold of our friends to get their advice or wishes for what to do with the car. I was brainstorming all the people we knew in Toronto that might be able to help. We were assessing their locations in proximity to her. We were discussing the merit of her calling an old boyfriend for help. Her phone battery was a little low and we figured out that Uber and Lyft didn’t cover where she was. It was starting to feel overwhelming. Then Lisa (who helps administer a bussing company in Regina) had a thought, she suggested Gina do a certain something with the gear shift and voila, the car started immediately. Gina’s response was like it was Christmas all over again, she declared that Lisa is her hero of the day. What a wave of relief swept through our call. Before hanging up so that we could get back to work we learned that the horse stunt work company that had seen Gina do her stuff were very happy, and spoke like her involvement in their event next May is a forgone conclusion. They also invited her back to ride horses anytime. Just a bit of drama had unfolded! Gina forged alot of new territory yesterday and we along with her.

Russ called to report that the crew was doing well, moving fast and

Well, this is as far as I got before I had to stop and 10 days later I am not sure what more I was going to say about that day. Bear with me if things are a bit vague.

Lisa and I got lunch delivered pretty much perfectly on time, although the crew, despite the earlier shenanigans, was running early. We arrived to find a very chilled crew. The earlier fog, with the moisture it brought, in combination with the lack of promised sun and high wind blowing right against everyone made things quite uncomfortable. Our menu was appreciated. It was part way through serving that we realized the cost of getting interrupted by Gina’s phone call. I had not finished counting and packing the cups we needed for both coffee and chili. We had lots, but not enough. When that dawned on us we had a saving grace. Russell’s chili is very thick, that is part of what defines it, he told Lisa that if I tried to add water to it in the morning it was her job to stop me. I didn’t even try or think about it! That thick chili was served directly onto the plates we passed out for holding cups and spoons and bread and stuff. It got cold fast but it was served and there were cups for coffee.

Cows tend to move well when moving into the wind, it refreshes them I think, and so the crew had the cows home and into the gate well before sunset. Lisa and I had to hustle to get supper ready and some extra silliness ready. It was the tenth birthday of our dogs Bingo and Maddie and coming up in a week was Coffee’s birthday. Russell had insisted we have a celebration. We had bought decorations, Lisa made ground beef cupcakes for the dogs and decorated them with mashed potatoes, bacon bits and cheese sticks. We sang them happy birthday, crowned them as birthday princesses and ate cake while they ate their cupcakes. It was fun! Those dogs are a real source of light in our days, it felt great to celebrate them.

As we ate there were stories shared of the day. Some details about the buck off got a little clearer, the fact that the rider was very sore also got clearer. Through the week details have been shared so that I understand even better what happened. Russell is convinced that a cougar or something like it was in the swamp beside the road. Russ says they smell strong and the horses detected it. Gary’s horse went absolutely crazy after sensing it, the “buck off” was among the most spectacular seen at our ranch. The horse then charged into the herd, straight into a cow which knocked another rider off her horse. She was okay. Russell’s horse was spooked but recovered, Russ did not get bucked off. After running what looks like 12 or more miles the horse was cornered and held at the feedlot north of the Martens ranch near Alameda. Paige held it there until Gary and Mike Hubbard could get there and Gary was able to get near and secure it. Gary saddled it later and rejoined the crew, the horse did not look very tired. Incredible.

It was a hard day. My initial hope to have God walk with us through all it held……well….how do you measure whether such a prayer was answered or not? There was drama, there was injury, there was stress. But we make the choice to put ourselves in challenging and potentially dangerous situations, in situations where no outcome is guaranteed. My faith tells me that God is near. I see it. It was in the instinct to give that was brought to life in so many people, in my friend Tanya who lent Gina the car, Lisa giving me her whole weekend to lend a hand, the Co-op grocery clerk I didn’t know who asked me while I was shopping after lunch, if the horse had been found. She told me she had used part of her lunch break to go look for it, “I have horses” she said to explain her care for a situation that didn’t affect her life at all. The instinct to give was in the whole crew who suffered through cold and wind for us and our cows. Thats humbling. There were so many who shared info about the stray horses location and Paige’s time and energy given to protect the horse and ease our challenge. Its all evidence of God’s Spirit on the loose, as fast and far reaching as that horse. But there is more, I had alot to hold onto that day, alot of needs to meet, alot to be calm for, and I was. It was in part because of the great help I had and in part because I was calm. I was calm for a reason that I can’t explain. I have to go with “I was not alone.”

So anyways, from the bad smell of a cougar to pondering about prayer. I am done writing. It was quite a day. Here are pictures you might enjoy.

Laurie riding in the early morning fog.

David and Pat……the only cowboys in sight…..that I can see.

Jen and Cinder……a happy reunion of rider and horse.

I would love to know what both Laurie and Braylee were thinking in this moment.

The sun came out for a while after lunch. There are some bright smiles here too as Braylee and Lacee keep pushing ahead with the herd.

Having walked about 18 miles the herd is within steps of the gate here.

And in they go. This is a cool sight from our living room windows.

This is Lisa in the background. It is the only picture I have of her from the weekend. This fact does not honor the amount of support she provided. I took this picture to send to Braylee’s pal, our girl Gina.

A close-up of the dogs birthday cupcake.

Birthday cake for the humans.

Russ helped the dogs blow out their candles.

Bingo was quite intrigued.

The scene at lunch.

Having taken a chilling turn watching over the herd while most of the cowboys were getting their lunch, Jim rides in to camp.

Miles and I at the lunch station.

Coffee was essential on this chilly day. Bill smiled readily for the picture.

Everyone has been enjoying spending more time on the trail with Pat’s daughter Emory. She is doing great.

Hugs have the added benefit of sharing warmth. Its so great to see the friendships on the trail.

Pat and Jen are still smiling despite the weather conditions.

With no time to spare I was blowing up balloons and moving chairs around at the same time, prepping for the supper scene. I had no idea where I was going to put these balloons in the absence of helium. I was quite thrilled with myself when I found a spot for them in the tree (only one popped.)

It was Lisa’s idea to hang this banner in this spot. Looked perfect to me. Another thing she just took care of.

Tanya sent me this picture after Gina arrived back at her place with the car. Everything really was okay! (Even better yet, we now know that audition is looking to lead to three different opportunities, and she is definitely booked in to be a “horseback champion” for the medieval tournament in May. )

Gary back on his horse after the two were reunited. The gratitude that is part of this picture is very real.