winter – As Far As The Eye Can See

The Bar MW Post

As a girl there were certain rituals that marked life and I think back on fondly. At our home in Saskatoon things unfolded pretty routinely in the morning. As a teen and when I was an adult living with my parents I remember the combination of toast with peanut butter, a glass of frozen concentrated orange juice that one of us had mixed up in a jug and lingering at the table with the newspaper. That paper, “The Star-Phoenix” was not only our morning reading but was where my Mom worked. I knew that place from the inside, I can still remember the smell of it, I would describe it as “hot ink.” Anyways, time with a newspaper laid out in front of me is a memory I hold fondly and the sections of the newspaper are very clear to me. It was common to share the paper with others at the breakfast table by each reading one of the sections and then trading when we were ready to. All of this has set me up for todays blog post. My own brief version of a newspaper, what I am calling “The Bar MW Post”.

FRONT PAGE

Crispy Conditions for our Canadian Cows

After a very mild start to winter, as in a warm spell that lasted at least six weeks, reality has hit. Temperatures today, including the windchill are predicted to be -50. It is obvious to say that this is hard on everyone and everything that has to be outside, but I will say it anyways. This is tough. Vehicles, ranchers and cows all struggle. We do what we can to buffer the effects of it. Here in the house we usually turn our heat down to 65F at night, when I went to do that last night Russ said to me, “I think we should leave the heat up Kathy, if the power goes out you will regret having given up those five degrees.” It was a warm night in our house. Russ looked at the forecast for a week from now and it shows things warming up considerably. We will hope for the best. Russ took this picture while out feeding and bedding cows yesterday.

LIFESTYLES

Feature: Getting a Glimpse of Gina

– Our oldest girl moved to Toronto a little over a year ago after finishing her training in musical theatre. She has had an eventful year with important steps being taken. Gina is quite blessed, she has a job that connects to two of her passions, its regular employment, her best friend moved to Toronto shortly after her and they are having a great time as room-mates. Gina is part of the team that cares for the horses that are in the dinner theatre show at Medieval Times. Every day her work gives her the chance to get more and more connected to a beautiful set of horses. Last week she sent us this picture, it was captioned “almost fell asleep in Hercules’ stall today.”

We have gained very few glimpses of the show that Gina is crew with other than when we attended it last March. However, Gina shared this 28 second backstage video with us last week and it wowed me. At the time Gina was working to soothe an anxious horse while it was waiting to go on.

One of the things we are cheering about this week is that Gina is taking advantage of her location in a new way. She is enrolled in some more dance training and just finished a three day intensive course in stage combat. She has already gained intermediate certification with the guild that oversees it in Canada and the U.S. This workshop she has just finished is prepping her to be ready for her advanced level training. She sent us this 18 second video that was taken during the first morning. She was thrilled that after about sixteen months away from doing stage combat things went well.

This next video is 38 seconds, Gina says there is a mess up in the middle, I can’t tell, but these two got affirmed for the way they took care of each other and stayed in sync.

Gina is making the most of being a Torontonian. It is fun to see our girl making her way in the world and getting to do things that she feels passionate about.

This Day in History

15 Years Ago: The picture below marks a day that will go down in family history for a few reasons. Russ and Mike Hubbard were so engrossed in this movie that they didn’t realize that kids who had seen it several times had gone elsewhere and got into some trouble. When I came downstairs to figure out what I was hearing, Russ and Mike were alone watching the movie and there were problems in the laundry room. The movie was “Barbie and the Three Musketeers”, where Barbie leaves her farmgirl life in France behind and goes to Paris where she wangles her way into getting training to become one of the famed sword fighting Musketeers, and she succeeds. That is Gina in the pink shirt on the left. She is engrossed and perhaps starting to get prepared inwardly for some of the challenges that lay ahead for her. Also seen here in the pink easy chair are Russ, Teanna (Mike’s daughter) and Morgan (when his hair was blonde.) Mike is in my Grandma Kyle’s chair with Jill perched behind him. This picture must have been taken before things got crunchy in the laundry room.

Advice Column

the “ANN LANDERS” moments of the week

“Hi Mom, hey, can you talk me through making gravy? I got that roast in the oven, how do I make good gravy?”

That request for advice came from Jill this week. My answer was to direct her to the Bayliss family cookbook where very detailed instructions are found as to how to make Marlene’s great gravy. A key aspect to a good gravy is to get the right thickness, at least thats what we find around here. My key advice is measure your liquids, stir 2 tbsp of flour into cold water for every cup of liquid. (Like 2 cups of hot drippings and 4 cups cold water will make six cups of gravy, so stir 6 x 2 tbsp of flour (3/4 cup) into that cold water and when combined slowly add to the hot drippings). That will provide you with gravy that is just thick enough.

Jill sent us a picture of her plate, she did it!

Consumer Report

While in Estevan this week Russell and I stopped in at Tim Horton’s. I was fairly shocked to look in the display case and see a pan of Walnut Crunch donuts. If you read this “paper” from a place other than Canada you might not know about Tim’s. It is a coffee/donut/diner place that is found in every slightly big community in Canada. Years ago they offered a donut that was both Russell’s and my Dad’s favorite, it was called a “Walnut Crunch.” It was discontinued quite a while ago. Apparently they are temporarily bringing back a “Nostalgia Line” of donuts. This was the first I heard of it. We bought one of these donuts and shared it. We were slightly dissapointed unfortunately. Russ took this picture to send to my sisters, to start a conversation about the good old Walnut Crunch.

Co-op Chips have broken a record in my world. We usually buy Co-op brand because they are cheap. They are not consistent, but we take our chances. The picture below records something doubly remarkable, I opened a bag to find a simply huge chip surrounded by other very large chips and none of them were broken, it was incredible to see as they spilled out into a bowl. I broke this chip into five pieces and that is all I ate from the chips at this meal. Pretty incredible right? Someone at the Co-op chip factory deserves a raise.

SPORTS

Its basketball season again at our place. So far this has not affected life too much, with Morgan driving himself to his practices, we are in a sweet stage of parenting. The game schedule starts soon and that will lead to some fun outings I am sure. We are a weird family, our involvement in sports has been very minimal. Our team sports tend to lean towards all things horse. In early January, when things were warmer, not warm but warmer, we had a little trail-ride at our place organized by our cousin Jenn to celebrate her daughter Emerson’s birthday. This picture is the only team one we have from 2024 so far. (Jenn, Morgan, Jordanna, Emerson, Steve, Merrick, Patrick and Russ).

ENTERTAINMENT

~We have something we are pretty enthused about on our entertainment calendar. Jill is in the midst of rehearsals for her fourth show with Sterling Productions. At the end of March she will be on stage again at Conexus Arts Centre in Regina. She is a member of the adult ensemble. We don’t talk about rehearsals too much but I sense she is really enjoying them. The musical they are getting ready is “The Prom.” Jill sent me a link last week for a cool song from the show called “Love Thy Neighbor”, and suggested we should use it at church. It is a possibility that Jill can wear her grad dress for one of her costumes. We would be really happy to see that dress having another life!

~We have turned into absolute slugs in our down time. I think we are just deep down tired and taking advantage of hibernation hours, especially when its this cold. I ordered a Firestick from Amazon which Russell is over the top about. He calls it revolutionary. Our previous way of pulling in Netflix was not reliable at all. We are now easily binge watching a show which Morgan recommended to us, its called “Community.” Russell especially really loves it. Our show for last year was Seinfeld and the year before was Brooklyn ’99. Russell thinks this is the best of all three. We have had some good conversation about that. Russell’s devotion to this show arises from the fact that it is all about friendship, and the people are good, they don’t use each other without remorse, they don’t lie and work to make things right. It is also very goofy, incredibly creative and tightly written. Its a good package.

THE CLASSIFIEDS

Help Wanted

~When we sold our calves in December one of the buyers who attended the sale approached Morgan about working for him. Morgan is balancing alot in his days already and we have come to rely on him at our ranch, however, its a good season for him to venture out. Several weekends recently have had early starts for us as I have set my alarm for 6am to ensure that Morgan wakes up. He has been on duty with his horse saddled at 8am, helping with the work of a feedlot. He has really been enjoying this and is really no trouble to wake up. (On weekdays Morgan has a reputation for sleeping through his alarm and several wake-up calls.) He has had the chance to meet alot of nice people and he is getting to rope alot. Its going well. The picture below was on the feedlots social media page last week. Thats Morgan on the right.

~We had watering bowl troubles this week and it meant having an electrician working in frigid temperatures to help us out. I don’t have a picture of Jeremy Taylor at work but man oh man do we appreciate him.

~Our skidsteer, after a long, long spell of working tirelessly for us, came up with troubles this week. Our man Ron tried very hard to assess and deal with it but in the end we needed our heavy duty mechanic on the job. Brock Thompson was here and got the main problem fixed. There was a program reset that arose as a problem after he left. Russ got out his “mechanic phone” (a joke term we use to refer to smart phones) and got the problem figured out and fixed. I was pretty darn proud of my guy whose strengths lie in working with four legged and two legged creatures.

In Search Of

The number of people who have asked Russell, “where did you get that hat” leads me to think that maybe people are in search of one. But then again, maybe not. Maybe its just all they can say to register their surprise/concern/amusement when he shows up looking like this:

It is meant to resemble a buffalo, Russ bought it at a gift shop in Cody, Wyoming last June. This picture reveals the reason we had to go to Estevan this week. We were in search of a heating element for a watering bowl. It was the Co-op Agro and our other cousin Jennifer (Kolb) that came to our rescue. You will notice spur straps not watering bowl parts in Russell’s hands. He wandered away to handle a phone call and came back with these. The whole look just made me shake my head and pull out my camera, thats my guy!

THE BACK PAGE

It seems that every publication has their own theme for a back page. Because my blog is about people connection and seeing each other, I want to use this page to highlight moments of heartwarming connection. I really love these two pictures, both taken during our Christmas celebrations in Saskatoon.

This picture which is almost a silhouette takes away some of our individuality as Kyle family but emphasizes our group identity. This is not something we get to experience very often anymore. It means alot.

Day 8 – THIS WAS A FEAT (for the feet)

The Bar MW Herd is all home thanks to the endurance and teamwork of our crew. What a relief. It’s Tuesday now and we are sure glad that in the whiteout blizzard conditions yesterday and deep windchill of last night we could picture our cows where they have winter type shelter options. They are sure hardy creatures.

Right now Bingo, Maddie and I are hanging loose in the truck while Russ loads bales onto the flat deck. He drove the tractor over and I the truck. What do you think? Should we eat our picnic lunch out there or stay in the truck?🥶

I am not sure if you readers are getting bored of somewhat similiar scenery from blog to blog if you catch each one, but for us who live these days, each chase has its own color and a memory that goes with it. As you will see from the following pictures, the color of this “Sun”day chase was gloom. However, the theme was youthful energy, our crew was 3/4 teenagers on this day. They endured and smiled at the end of it all. Maybe partly because it was finally done! The gloomy conditions arose from getting little sun and more wind developing than we were expecting, most of the crew stayed warm or almost warm, but the feet, cold feet were a problem, even with the help of hotpocket type boot warmers.

Our job on Sunday was to bring the herd that had been summering in the Souris River Valley home to the ranch. This meant about 12 miles of trail heading north east. The pictures I have here are ones that Russ, Sharon, Teanna and Patrick took. I love getting a broader perspective and thank them for their contributions.

The first thing to share is a video Russ took. The distant perspective at the start allows you to see the cowboys moving swiftly up the herd. Close up you see the snow falling.

Teanna and Dani in the early part of gathering the cows from the pasture.

I think you could say these cows are ready to hit the road.

This next video shows moments of getting out the pasture gate and onto the road. Russ couldn’t get over how dark it was at this point. The sun had already been up for 1.5 hours.

Once on the road the trail work is a bit more predictable and the shenanigans start. That is Jen in the center, Rhett and Dani at her sides. Jen has a knack for connecting with people and especially teenagers. Its cool to see.

A new rider on the trail this year, a brave one to join us for this frosty ride, this is Charity.

Mercy! Teanna this is impressive balance!

There was no lunch break on this chase, Vicki made coffee that we sent out with the crew at daybreak. Sharon brought homemade muffins. At the right spot they stopped for a coffee break. Things got goofy it seems, with no sick calves to rope this day Morgan practiced on Teanna and Emerson. Beyond that I really can’t explain this picture.

In very good time the cows were at the gate. Here they are, heading into their home pasture. I said we had 10″ of snow last week. It doesn’t look like it here….I don’t know.

This is a momentous picture. All the cows are tucked in for the winter. Here is the boss cowboy (Russ) and Morgan, whom he shares so much of the burden of ranching with. We all benefit from their shared energy, their skills and their humor.

A screenshot of the texts I got from Patrick. A feeling of satisfaction comes through, don’t you think?

Back at the house we were tossing salad at about 2:10, grace by 2:13pm. Great timing! By this point Vicki had helped move trucks, washed every dish I could dirty, helped me form buns, and prepped the salad, in addition to the 6am pots of coffee and hot chocolate she sent out. She also initiated some great conversation, for instance she asked me “what has surprised you most about each of your kids?” That’s Sharon in the background.

At church in the morning Carol Vanstone hosted a delicious coffee time and sent me home with leftover cream puffs and cupcakes. They were very much enjoyed. Sharon and Russ are pictured here.

Russell took alot of delight in calling Lynn “the ambassador of Switzerland 🇨🇭 .” She was great company! Here she is trying her first ever homemade butter tart, a staple Canadian dessert. Thumbs up!

On Monday Russ was part of a conversation on Facebook that had him singing my praises. Returning to the overall theme of our blog, “I see you, you see me,” I screenshot his comment when I saw it because I felt very seen. It’s pretty great when people sing your praises when they don’t have to, just want to, and you get the message that they saw you sweating and it meant something. Our crew has been great about saying thank you.

Well that marks the end of the Bar MW 2023 chase season. We have more work with the cows in the next month and then things settle down a little bit. I am currently working on a blog that explores why we do this fall work like we do, knowing that others look at us and think we’re kindv’e crazy. I have really been enjoying working on this upcoming post. There is a reason for all this!

The Last Round-up for 2022

Just in the nick of time all the cows are home. As I sit to start writing the words that go with the pictures I have received and assembled, the snow is flying, the wind is blowing, it is so wintery feeling. Down in the south east corner of the province we are the last to get hit with winters blow. We are thankful we had the time we did to get our fall work done up as much as possible. The biggest piece of that is getting our cows and their calves home from their fall and summer pastures.

Now that the cows are home we turn a definite corner. The work shifts towards ensuring the cows are fed and have access to water, and we start strategizing for the marketing part of our work. The season ahead holds more evening hours in the house, usually, we are definitely ready for that.

The last part of our cow chase work took place over this past Friday and Saturday. There are some nice pictures that tell the stories of the days.

Griffin shared this amazing sunrise picture from Friday with me. It was still and very cold as evidenced by the frost on the grass. We were bringing cows from “the Vanstone pasture”, east of Carnduff, to home pastures.

Griffin also shared this picture. Thats Teanna, Gina, Russ and Rhett. There was no school so it was a great day to invite the teens of our circle to help bring these cows home. Russ notes that he and Rhett had switched horses for a time, Rhett was trying out Russell’s saddle, which meant riding “Sundance”, who is notoriously grumpy and a challenge to ride. Not many would do what Rhett is doing in this picture.

Laurie couldn’t join the crew for the day but was available to help block the highway at the point where the herd crossed. He was able to catch this picture. What is it? In the very chilly morning temps Russ got craving a coffee. When it had warmed to about -6 he called ahead to Precision Ag, where we usually buy mineral, salt, fertilizer and pet food. Russ asked about customer perks and wondered if they could get five coffees to go. Sure enough, upon arrival, the place that is not a coffee shop had hot coffee in to go cups ready to pass out. Thats a happy memory.

Gina grabbed this picture from her perspective at the pasture gate. The first group of cows for the day was home and it was time to go home for lunch.

Emet got this picture of his dog and Coffee hanging out on a bale. Its cute!

After lunch the crew was off to bring another herd home. This time they headed to what we call “The Sheep Pasture”, I drove part of the crew and so was there when many things were getting done to be ready to go again. I grabbed this cute picture of Russ. That is the Viterra grain elevator in the background.

Dani flashed a great smile when she looked up from dealing with her horse.

Sharon took this picture of Russ ready to roll. Thats Coffee, Knightwing and Bingo in the picture with him.

Sharon grabbed this picture of Teanna and Dani.

Gina took the passenger seat and let Dani drive home from the pasture at the end of the chase. Maddie is healing from an injury and didn’t get to chase, but got to be part of this time with Dani.

Russ wasn’t sure how it would go to juggle two different moves in the same day. Both herds moved more quickly then he thought, the crew did great and both lunch and supper were served an hour before Russ had estimated. I’ll be honest, as the cook, I struggled with the changing details, it was good in the long haul, but I didn’t find the flexing too easy to do.

Tenley sent me this amazing picture of the scene at sunrise on Saturday. The crew had left the yard about 6:45am and they headed to “the Boyes pasture” in the Glen Ewen valley. In contrast to the day before the skies were brooding, but at this point the air was quite still and it was warmer.

Griffin caught a moment when Morgan was being unusual. I am not sure what he was doing. Maybe I can ask him before I post this.

Sharon shared this moment where her grand-daughter Emma is ready to roll for the day. Emma has been on lots of Bayliss cow chases but this was the first for this year.

Griffin caught a cool sunrise picture, it also allowed me to see Emet’s dog in the saddle with him.

Jen saw this moment, the sun still rising and beautiful, Morgan ready to roll.

Becca sent this glimpse of the getting ready process. The sky is still intriguing.

Jen does excellent selfies, the sun on her face and Russ in the background makes this an especially nice one. I am guessing this was the last time the sun was seen on this day.

Becca brought her brother to his first cow chase in a long, long time. He was a good sport through what was a tough day because of the weather.

Sharon’s grand-daughter Hannah was back on the trail.

This is Bill in the centre with his granddaughters on either side of him. Sharon took this picture.

As the cows made the final mile before crossing the highway Becca took this picture.

Dwayne sent me this close up picture of the process of getting across the highway. In the background you can see the Mounties stopping traffic and keeping everyone safe.

I think Becca took this picture once across the highway and looking back at what was behind her.

Russ invited the Mountie on duty to pose for him, he obliged. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could direct the cows with hand signals like this? The RCMP are made aware of our plans, if it works into the demands of their day we get their help, but obviously other things take on greater urgency at times.

It was decided that quick progress meant a late lunch at home versus lunch on the trail was quite do-able and preferable given how windy and miserable it felt. However, a break for the cows was needed, the riders took advantage of the chance to stretch their legs. Sharon got this picture of Gary.

Sharon also got this picture of Bill making some adjustments.

Sharon took this picture right around the break.

Teanna and Dani grabbed a quick lie down in the ditch moment. Sharon was on the job with her camera.

Sharon has always been one to document our adventures, Becca got this shot just after Sharon finished a picture.

Jen’s selfie records a fashion moment, she and Griff have matching sunglasses, thanks to Griff wrestling an old bent out of shape pair into service.

Jen grabbed this moment when a good friendship was easy to see.

Jen and Dani….the queen of selfies strikes again.

Becca shared lots of pictures, including this selfie which reveals a nice spread of the cows behind her.

Becca captured her brother Dylan guarding an approach.

Following the break things got hard. Rain began and never quit until the ride was over. Tenley told Gina she has never been so cold on a Bayliss cow chase, which is saying quite a lot. The rain soaked through and challenged everyone. I got lunch set up for everyone in the house and left just as the crew was drawing near. I came across these cowboys coming home after getting the cows into the pasture. I was on my way into town to sing at a funeral. By the time I returned home everyone had eaten and most had gone home to find warm showers. It was hard to miss out on the meal, the chatter, and the words that might celebrate that the cows are all home, however the deceased was a friend of ours and I wanted to be there representing our family. Listening to the stories that came from lunch I sense that everyone was in survival mode and the celebratory mood would need to wait for another time.

The final quarter mile of the 2022 season.

Liz Griffin took this picture in the first half mile of the 2022 season. This captures the fact that we started with fog and ended with rain. There was no snow this on the trail this year, high wind at times but not like other years, we had some great sunny days.

Its November 7th, a few hours ago I reduced the table back down so it seats just six. Jill and I did up the last of the dishes lingering from the weekend. We watched two movies last night. The cows are home. We had a safe and successful season of moving them. The best thing, we had time with people we love so much, we met new people, we experienced teamwork and the sense that others have our back. I have been encouraged through the readers and comments with the blog. With a little rest in our bodies, and the sound of the wind just whistling around our house, our sense of gratitude rises to the surface in a very big way. We heard that one of our cowgirls cries for a half hour every year when everything is over. Russell says, “we know how she feels.”

Our Neck of the Woods

It has been a couple of weeks since a blog post happened. Those kinds of gaps happen for a few reasons, one is being busy, another is a lack of much of interest happening to write about, and sometimes it is that life is complex and the question exists, how do I even start? Alongside that I am new to blogging still and I wonder, what do people want to hear about? So I decided that I would write this for a particular friend, when she sent me a Christmas card this year she told me how much she loves my blog, that it makes her feel closer to me. So, I am picturing having coffee with her as a way to get a little focus to my writing.

The year started very harshly in terms of weather. The main implications of this for us were travel and cows. The kids and I were in Saskatoon for the last days of December, celebrating with my family, it was too cold for Russell to leave the ranch for the couple days he had hoped for. The horrible cold conditions made me anxious about being on the highway but I had the car checked out before we left and then we just did our best and we were fine. This prompted some deep gratitude. It was very important for us to be with the Kyles for a few days of whirlwind visiting, we made some memories. One of the memories of that time that speaks deeply to me happened on the way home. We drove from Saskatoon to Regina with Gina, but in Regina we arrived at the airport just in time to meet Grandma Shirley coming home from her daughters. We lingered in the airport so that Gina and Shirley could visit and then left Gina there to catch her flight home to Victoria. We left Regina about 7pm knowing Gina had a wait. It turned out her plane was very late departing and she celebrated New Years in the Regina airport, doing a countdown among strangers. We drove home in -35 temps with the wind at our back. The windows in the car were not able to stay clear with all the breathing going on and that extreme air on the outside. I was a bit whooped and pretty quiet but as we headed through Bienfait I asked Grandma Shirley a question, “whatcha thinking about Shirley?” She replied, “well I don’t really know, well I guess I’m thinking about just how good you are doing!” She melted my heart. I am 53 years old and I am very well supported in this life, but there perhaps will always be a little girl in me that needs her elder to see her managing something hard and say, “I see that this isn’t easy and I see you and I see that you are doing good.” The comment had more impact than it might have usually because we were surrounded by darkness, Shirley was in the back seat in a cave created by icy windows and out of that darkness her sweet tone of voice carried that message that touched my heart.

At this moment in the arrivals area at the Regina airport I was overcome with pride in Shirley. She has a spirit of adventure and it took her to Red Deer and home again. She did it!

It is so wonderful for my kids to have a Grandma figure in their lives having lost their Nana and Grandma. They are blessed with a few adopted ones.

Coming home we settled in to a news year party that Russell created for us. We got home with less than an hour to go before the new year.

Jill talked Russ through the process of making a cheeseball and he created a cozy celebration for us all to arrive home to.

Then it was back to ranching. The weather was so cold and harsh and our cows struggled. We try to provide shelter for them but there is only so much you can do. They lost weight despite being fed good feed and it was disheartening to say the least. The cold lasted for about 10 more days, just breaking this week. I intend to do a more detailed blog post about being a rancher in these conditions.

In the midst of that need met need. My oldest friend in the world works in leadership in long term care in Saskatoon, her time off is hard to keep as time off. So she jumped in her car and came to see me for a few days. She was away and I had someone who could just roll with whatever the day held. Our time together held some memorable moments, like in the first hour when she presented me with a t shirt to match hers, honoring our favorite singer from our teen years, Whitney Houston.

After a day of coffee, visiting and I will admit some vodka, and visiting, and cooking and kibbutzing with the family who all love her, well we decided to get down to business. Deb has laundry secret skills that gave her the confidence to tackle my laundry room with me. I made her pose with this piece of decor which I purchased long ago when I was optimistic about how effective I could be in there. Deb is in fact the queen of the laundry, so this shot is very apropos.

Deb does alot of Covid testing in her role at Sherbrooke so I was happy for her to give Morgan a test. He was heading to a friends place to sleep over and it seemed wise given everything. Just for the record, the cluttery mess behind has been dealt with.

How lucky to have a friendship that spans almost everything we have been through as women.

Despite Deb’s good listening ear and her gracious heart towards me I am not all good. Despite living with a very accepting and loving husband, I am not all good. I have made a couple of mistakes in the last month that have me reckoning with my feckin humanity. And……….I feel sooooo weird, like the whole world is turned upside down. And……. I think I am coming to terms with a piece of my grief after losing my Mom, that is, that its not like any grief that I have ever experienced before. It sits real deep inside me and from that point shapes my experiences and it is weird. And I am slightly frustrated that it seems to take a long time for me to understand anything about it.

And at the same time babies…………human babies……..a baby born in our family this week. News from school today about teachers that are expecting. And I find myself thrilled that the world is carrying on and people are betting on better days ahead. And best of all, a baby to visit us. Our friends came over this week and during lunch I caught this picture. But later I got to hold that baby, and read to that baby and play a game with that baby. It was so good for my heart. I have never met a baby with such a sense of humor. She laughed so much, it was incredible. We were blessed by her.

A hard thing about this week is that we were to have gone to Victoria today to see Gina in her 2nd year play. We have cancelled our trip. I want to be big and brave and not live in fear but the bottom line is the world is complicated right now and if we are going to spend vacation time and money we want to feel relaxed while doing it. I could say more about Covid, cows, weather, stress, Westjet flight delays and baggage losses we have known, but I’ll just say, we could cancel so we did. We will be watching online tomorrow night. Here is a link if you might like to see what our girl is up to.

Love & Information – Canadian College of Performing Arts (ccpacanada.com)

Back at home…………Jill, Morgan, the dogs and Russ are keeping life very interesting. And its snowing again. Its a pain in the rear but boy oh boy it puts hope in the heart about spring and dugouts and pastures and hayfields.

I make a fairly deadly chicken divine casserole, this night everyone was hoping for the chance to lick out the casserole dish.

Since we are not going to Victoria we are trying to grab some extra ease at home. We lay down this afternoon to listen to an audiobook together, the plan was 30 minutes, I fell asleep. Russ tucked me in with the stuffies we keep in our room. I enjoyed seeing this picture later.

The fact is that we are behind on alot of work because when it was so cold we did the bare minimum outside, so today Russ took advantage of balmy temperatures to bring home the cows who birthed late last year and still have their calves. Morgan, Dawson and Laurie were able to help late in the afternoon. They weaned the calves off of them and we will preg check them soon.

Thanks for following along through the first couple of weeks of 2022. I think we all know that these are very odd days and it is hard to navigate. I have been writing a blog post in my head about hope, that will come soon, I hope. I need to write that for myself. In the meantime I am holding onto every shred of wisdom that I have and that I come upon. A big one is from Father Gregory Boyle who I listen to on Youtube. He is certain that our purpose, our healing and our wholeness all relate to building connection with each other. He calls it kinship. That is part of the reason I write to my friend tonight, to say thank you for the Christmas card, and here is what its like to be human in my neck of the woods. How is it to be human where you live?

An Interesting 24 Hours

Sometimes being a ranch wife in the winter means its possible to stay put and days unfold within familiar walls and routines. I like that. Today was not one of those days. I would like to record and share the details of this different day, I enjoyed it too.

This 24 hours started last night around 10:30pm when I realized that I had missed the chance to visit with my friend Deb on her birthday. I had been working on writing a sermon and ordering gifts and I was like a dog with a bone with those things, I had neglected my friendship with Deb. Now here is a weird detail of our recent friendship. Deb brought a watermelon when she came for a visit in August. We had been having a really hard summer before her arrival and things got much better after her visit, so I decided that her watermelon, which never did get cut up, was in fact a lucky watermelon and I never could bring myself to throw it out even after its freshness had passed. It changed location eventually, and when it did it gained a costume, a tiger suit. Anyways it was holding strong as of yesterday, hanging out on our porch table. Well, I decided that yesterday night it was time to take it out to the dumpster and incorporate that action into Deb’s birthday celebration. I recorded a voice memo while standing beside the dumpster, sang Happy Birthday to Deb in the blowing blizzardy snow fall, recording the sound of the watermelon going into the dumpster and told Deb, and later Russell, “new year, new memories.” So, regular readers will have heard of the watermelon saga before, and this is the last chapter, it finally went out. I know all of this makes me incredibly weird, I prefer to think of it as quirky but honestly this stupid stuff is what makes life fun.

After a short night our entire family was up early and on the road to North Portal where I led a 9am worship service. The snow that had fallen overnight made that a hard trip but Russ drove our dually truck and we got there safely. This little town is about 85km to the west and south of us, it is right on the border with the United States. A very memorable embarrassing moment happened there for me that I cannot provide details on but will be part of our family lore for the entire rest of my life. So that was spicy.

As we approached the church we were the first ones to make tracks in the snow. Russ said, “grab a picture of this Kathy, thats a sign of a dedicated minister!”

The service went well, I was a bit flustered and had printed my sermon notes with way too small and crowded a print. I had to really concentrate to speak with my head up and keep my place in the sermon. There was great hospitality, Morgan just loved it that when he arrived he could grab a cup of coffee that had been brewing. It turned out there were people already there, they had made tracks in different snow than we did. As we pulled out of town afterwards it was rather a thrill to be so close to the customs buildings at the border. It has been so long since we have gone through customs. We made the drive from North Portal to Estevan in decent time, the roads were already alot better after snowplows had been down them. Russ dropped me at the church and then took the kids to the mall. We didn’t think it would be fair to ask them to do church twice in one day, the exact same service. Russ whipped back and slipped in a bit late. He was thrilled to be welcomed aloud and by name by several in the congregation. I had mentioned he would be slipping in late and why. I offered a sermon probing the connection between righteousness and compassion. I really enjoyed the preparation of it.

Russ took this picture of me in the pulpit in Estevan. I didn’t realize he had. It was kind’ve cool to see, like “oh, this is what I look like when doing my thing….hmmm.”

A trip to the mall followed where we met the kids at Peavey Mart. I think one of the cardinal rules of being a rancher is you never waste a trip to the big city by only doing one thing. We are in the market for a couple more gate panels so Peavey Mart was a must. Russell has been working on an ambitious re-organizing of our handling system within the pole shed. He really enjoys tinkering with our set-ups and scheming to make jobs go more efficiently and safely.

This was taken last week when Russ was trying to explain to me what his vision was for how these gates could be refigured.

Thinking we had a little more time than we actually did we went for lunch at Russell’s favorite place in Estevan and then hit the road. We had a bull sale to get to.

I was so happy to have the kids along. This shot between Estevan and Carnduff enroute home is pretty white outside the windows. It was snowing again.

The bull sale was held only about 12 miles south of our place so I dropped the boys off late to the sale, then took Jill home, changed my clothes, grabbed a farm cheque, grabbed some beer for the next thing we were heading to and I returned to the bull sale. By the time I got there Russ had bought 3 bulls and we had our quota. I got to watch the rest of the sale unfold. It was incredible how technology was used to make that sale work seamlessly in the midst of a very snowy winter Saskatchewan day. It was nice to see people I knew, including the owner of all the bulls. When we caught each others eyes during the sale we exchanged warm waves and smiles, I had already enjoyed these moments with a couple other people, but this is when Russell said to me, “Kathy, you have to stop waving at people, we are going to buy something we don’t want!” Sometimes I feel like deep down I am always going to be a city girl.

The man on the left is watching for bidders, the auctioneer is behind that desk, as is Wes the friend who is hosting the sale. There were several staff on laptops and phones monitoring online and telephone bids. The animal being bid on is seen on the screen, an identical screen is on the other side. We watched short video clips of the bulls and bred heifers filmed on a warmer day. If we had been there earlier we could have walked among the bull pens and had a good look at the animals for ourselves.

Once we paid our bill we headed out because we had a football party to get to. We joined our cousins the Connellys to watch the western final of the Canadian Football League. Our team was playing. We were late for the game but given that we are not huge football fanatics we probably got to see enough. We really enjoyed the relaxed time and the visiting, the only thing that could have made it better is if our team had won. It was very close. Dawson made a crusty cheezy baked dip that was hard to stay away from. All the snacks were good. The food at football parties is definitely a large part of the fun. We came home a couple hours ago and I decided that I would either write about all this or go to bed early. The writing won out. Tomorrow is slated to be a stay in my own four walls kind of day and i think I am going to enjoy that! Isn’t life something though? Every once in a while you get alot to digest, as if it were a six course dinner!

Inside the Head – Nov 19/21

Thursday afternoon, once we were home from selling our steers and Russ had his outside chores done we found ourselves settling into a couple of very comfy chairs in our living room. We each had a mug of tea and a blanket. It was about 4pm. There were a couple things going on. Most immediately, Russ was fighting cold symptoms and was feeling chilled. He wanted this warm up time and invited me to join him. Also we are beginning our transition into winter schedules. This means more down time to catch our breath and do stuff that isn’t urgent. We are both so ready for this. It was interesting for me to note that I was fighting a little fight, or maybe doing a little dance, with the reality of guilt. It was four pm and most of my friends were still at work. But not me. My hubby and I were having precious moments to be still and cozy and to breathe a bit deeper. Its kind’ve weird to catch oneself waging this war with guilt. Where does it come from? Was it justified at all? Did I need to feel guilty? No I don’t think so. So why did I? The answer to that requires some reflection and maybe it is a bit too personal for the blog. But here is where my thinking went next, almost in an effort to defend myself I think, “this is our trade off for the long work days that are part of our summer.” I was referring to the weeks where there are no weekends (all of them), the times when you open facebook to see that it appears that everyone else is having a ball and you are staring at your ringing phone willing it not to be a problem that needs your action or sympathy. The evenings that never seem to end as the haying machines run til the grass gets tough, and I find myself cooking the last meal of the day closer to midnight than the supper hour. As I write this a lot of feeling goes with it, a sense of just how unpredictable and trying a ranching summer is and what a feeling of victory goes with just getting through it. If I am to report back to you who live beyond the ranching community, relaying what it is to be a rancher, what it is to be a ranchers wife, than part of that is to say that we have some different seasons around here. While the darkness and the cold of winter is hard, hard on our animals and hard to work in, when the darkness falls the days work is usuallly mostly done. Meals happen at good times, the light over top of the dining room table sheds a cozy glow against the darkness, time is available for a little bit of our hobbies, maybe a movie together. Its nice. Its really really nice. Its pretty easy. And for some dumb reason, when things are easy, I feel a little bit guilty.

I sense that I am not the only one.

Isn’t it weird to talk about things being so easy that guilt should arise? Life is not easy for anyone right now. Perhaps the feeling of guilt is a flag of sorts, alerting me to the things that feel really good amid the trials of these days. Maybe, just maybe, Russ and I should, with a deep sense of gratitude, bundle up in blankets, with mugs of tea, every day, knowing this is the good stuff, the stuff that translates to ease for our weary bodies and minds.

Thats what lives in the head of this ranch wife this week.

As I wondered if there was a picture to post these summer pictures came to mind. They give a glimpse of the machinery and people power Russ is managing and remind me of the weather worries and pressure we felt to make the feed that will keep our bovine girls going all winter.

A birds eye view of the rake and baler at work in the field. A photo captured by my niece Brodie Sollid, she has an aerial photography business.

Russ on the job running the baling tractor. He broke his own personal record this summer when he baled for 31 hours straight. The weather conditions were right and he was motivated. Part of this summer’s stress was needing to purchase a tractor when one of our trusty good ol ones cratered on us. This used John Deere was a blessing when it came across our path. (Liz Griffin Photograpny)

I wonder what we were discussing. (Liz Griffin Photography)

We are going to get through this together. (Liz Griffin Photography)

Liz Griffin has the ability to make a difficult reality look kind of poetic.

Day 18 – Postcards from the Heart

Its been hot in Saskatchewan for days and days uninterrupted. This made me think its a good time to get back to the postcard series, knowing the next image is a January one. This is a Liz Griffin Photography capture of a day when we were moving cows to standing corn and the air was crisp. Remember what that felt like? This was January 2020, before so many things changed. The image is quite striking when seen across a screen, in the format here the wide angle aspect of it makes it display small, so for the blog, in addition to the original I did some cropping to allow a better view of the people in the picture, to get a better sense of it.

If you are a new reader you might not know of this postcard series. Its a result of a photographer documenting our life for a year. I used some of her images to communicate some matters of the heart when my Mom was sick in the fall of 2020. This one is brief, its about being counted on.

Oct 15, 5:20am
Gina is really proud of this picture. It is cool. There she is at the head of the herd coming up the slope just west of our place. She is in dialogue with Jim Lee, a retired man who sold us haying equipment in recent years. Those are his grand-daughters to Gina’s left. Days like this one have been major confidence boosters for the kids. Gina had an expectation of herself, that her Dad could count on her. With cell phones they would confer, she provided leadership. She achieved her goal. She is missing the experience this year. Thank-you for ALWAYS being someone that I and my family could count on. We feel it deep. ❤ K