welcome

Waskesui

I am sitting in the dining room at Hawood Inn in Waskesui.

I came here with Russ. He has been in meetings for two days at Elkridge Resort, they are discussing climate solutions for ranching and farming. I am working on the book we are creating about ranching. I am done the bulk of the writing and now need to work to select and place the best pictures. I came to the Waskesui townsite because we are now checked out of our room and I wanted to come back here to reminisce. Almost 15 years ago I traveled here with three little kids to meet my extended family for a reunion. I hold so much love for those people in my heart. It is comforting and a bit sad to be back here without them, our elders are passing and much has changed. Waskesui remains beautiful and on this sunny but cold winter day it is quiet and rather soul stirring.

Perhaps that is the reason that as I perused our most recent photo shoot from Liz, looking for the pictures that fit best with what I am saying, the picture below stopped me in my tracks.

I am pondering a point I made in my writing. I have a section in the book to explore whats it like to be me, a ranch wife. One of the realities is that this ranch life has created quite a distance between me and the people and spaces of my original hometown, Saskatoon. In the book I readily point out that Russ has acted to lessen the hardness of that. How has he done it? This picture stopped me. The tall guy wearing the slicker, looking like a pretty seasoned cowboy is in fact a grade 8 teacher in Saskatoon. He is my cousins husband. After almost 30 years of knowing Jimmy I just think of him as my cousin. Russ has always been so welcoming of my family and has weathered the challenges of having rookies on the trail, to give them an experience and help them feel welcome at our place. I sometimes take that for granted because it has always been the case, but its really awesome to feel that any of our people can come, and they do.

The other thing about this picture that just about takes my breath away is the two layers of action in it that Gina and Morgan are responsible for. Gina, our oldest daughter, visiting from Toronto at the time of this picture, is helping Jimmy to get tacked up for the ride ahead. The smile you can glimpse tells me how comfortable she is, happy to have Jimmy there and so willing to prep horses for others. Morgan several feet behind her is almost ear to ear with his horse Padre and so very capably bridling him. The last time I was in Waskesui I was attempting to parent two year old Morgan, five year old Jill, and 7 year old Gina. They were terribly cute and endearing, but I had to leave Russ at home haying and I am terrible about asking for help. So I remember the juggling of being here in Waskesui and doing what it took to keep us all on track while soaking up the reunion time as much as possible. Now here I sit, sipping coffee, Morgan is holding down our work at home, and his own, Gina is living a big life, on her own merit, in Toronto and Jill just sent me the goofiest video from her responsibilities at Starbucks in Regina. She is deep into rehearsals for the current musical she is in. I feel like I am bragging to put all this into print, but maybe its okay to say what a friggin relief it is to see your kids get to this point. Maybe its okay to say that raising kids is so incredibly frazzling but in the most rewarding and endearing way I have known. Maybe its okay to confess that seeing your kids being capable and helping others is a source of deep pride. Maybe a stew of all that is what was swirling when I stopped on that candid picture. It was a second in time, it looked like just another cowboy moment but I guess for me, sitting on the shores of Waskesui lake, it marks a milestone in parenting.

There are a couple more pictures that help round out the points.

This picture is one of my favorites because right in the center of it is one of my favorite dogs ever, looking directly at Liz’s camera. For the purposes of the blog this image illustrates something, my niece Brodie and her friend Clare are in this picture. They are darn good help. Brodie started riding many years ago as a visitor at the ranch and we have enjoyed having Clare for two seasons of cow chasing now. Russ is really good at giving people a chance to learn.

Here is Jimmy, now safely seated in his saddle, he is with our new friend Steve. The slicker he is wearing was bought in June, embroidered with our brand by Lynn, it is Russell’s but Jimmy did it justice for its first appearance on the Bar MW trail. He looks so natural. I like imagining what the students in his city classroom would think to see their teacher as a working cowboy.

The day captured by Liz in these pictures was a very good day. My kids were all home and all on a horse and some of my Saskatoon people were near. With the help of my local friend Sandy I was able to get this large crew fed. The picture was pretty complete.

Life is full and rich and hard. I suspect that many can relate and many others might think, “Kathy you have no idea what hard is,”…..they would be right.

I am having trouble getting much written this week. However, I have a picture I just don’t want to lose in the shuffle.

Jill took this picture at the airport on Saturday night.

Those arms had been poised in position for a while.

These are part of a series, Jill started snapping just before Gina appeared at the top of the stairs. I love Jill’s instinct to capture an unfolding story. To me, this moment is poetic and deeply truthful.

It is the fruit of deep love and missing. It is Russell’s deep love for his girl.

I think one of the things I like about these pictures is that there are no identifying faces. It could be anyone.

That catches me. It could literally be anyone. Because every human on earth is deserving of this love, this enthusiasm, this welcome.

These images put me in mind of the enthusiasm of the father in the prodigal son story in the Bible. That father went against the culture of his day because of his love for his son. He was a civilized rich man, it was abnormal for him to run, but he saw his son in the distance and he seemed unable to hold himself back. He ran to greet and welcome him.

The hymn “O Holy Night” has a line, “til he appeared and the soul felt it’s worth.” I have been thinking about that so much. I am thankful. I am thankful that the arrival of the Christ child is about worth, about welcome, about arms closed to no one. That sits well within me. Except it’s hard hard hard to follow in his way.

Gina is blessed to be welcomed home with sincere and loving exuberance. I told her I want to make a poster for her using this picture. Life throws curveballs, I want her to never forget that she has a place of love and welcome. But the truth is, I believe, we all do. Our truth is our deep worth, our belonging. The fact that we are beloved. Noise and pain try to drown that out but ultimately they can’t.

Til he appeared and the soul felt it’s worth. ❤ Merry Christmas ❤

Day 9 – Postcards from the Heart

Mom,
I really like this picture. I like the focus on my face. What I mean is, I am focused. I LOVE feeling focused. Its one thing I especially appreciate about ranch jobs, many of them have big things at stake which automatically creates focus, and of course, sometimes stress, lots of it.
Living with you in the role of support giver has had an inborn focus to it. The entire sister crew has been focused on enhancing your sense of comfort and safety. For a while I have been the closest hands and feet of that effort. It has been good for me to be allowed this focus. A bit of a balm for my frazzled soul.
Thank you for graciously welcoming me.

This picture was taken on December 4, 2019 while we were weaning our calves and getting ready to market them. This was Liz Griffin’s 2nd time out at the ranch documenting one of our work days.

This post is the 9th part of a 22 blog series called “Postcards from the Heart”, this series arises from circumstances detailed in the post called “Postcards from the Heart – Day 1.”