On Saturday night Russell and I hosted a party to celebrate our 25th anniversary. We were so nervous and excited leading up to it but also aware that things can get overwhelming. We therefore invited only family and ranch crew to a supper and then others joined us after for a dance. There are so many stories to be told arising from how the night unfolded, I hope to do some writing about them, but in this post I am sharing the speech that I made during a brief program we had after supper. Reading it over again now it strikes me its one of the shortest speeches I have ever made. The file was named……
SPEECH FOR 25
While sitting with Jill eating breakfast in Regina I said to her, “I don’t know why I feel the need to make a speech but I do.” Soon after it kind’ve bubbled up in me, yes I do know why I feel the need. This is a deeply meaningful point to arrive at and I am used to speeching in the midst of life’s meaningful moments.
This is a deeply meaningful moment to arrive at. Why? Perhaps because of all the moments where we wondered if we were going to make it this far. In our case that is because of the normal reality of marriage stress and also because every day Russell walks out the door he is doing risky things. So for all the forces that allowed us to make it this far, forces like Russell’s self-preservation instinct when facing down dangerous work moments and the thirst we both had to return to closeness when forces of anger, fear and pride were building walls between us, we are thankful. Woven into all that is the mysterious way that God’s goodness was fuelling our days and our fight to keep us whole.
It’s a meaningful moment because the 25 years since we said “I do” have held so much wonder. We have been supremely, supremely blessed. When I say that I mean that we had the opportunity to have Gina, Jill and Morgan. Looking back at our journey with them, from the vantage point we now have, I think that Russ and I would both say that being parents to them has been among the most interesting and meaningfully fun things we have done. They created focus and purpose to every day life, from June 25, 2002 when we met Gina until September 16th of this year when Morgan drove away for his first adult adventure. We have not had very many days of marriage where we were able to think about ourselves first. Having said that, with two puppies currently in our world we are still not free, we are now negotiating who does early morning and late night walks with a puppy who will not listen and come back to the house on her own when there are cows nearby to herd. “Where’s the leash?” is the new refrain at our house. Russ and I ponder that our children carry a bit of a burden being our kids, we hope that through them our values and our mission to bring light into the world will carry on.
I find myself wanting to talk a little bit about what I remember when I think about the days when Russell and I were deciding to get married. I mean that how it sounded. Deciding is an action word, it was a process. I was a city girl deciding if I could and should commit to living a life that was far from my roots and opportunities. Russ had a bit of a mixed reputation and I wasn’t sure about linking my wagon to his star. Here is what pulled me toward him though…….I enjoyed him so much. For some reason the idea of living my life with regrets has always been something I wanted to avoid. As I pondered the option of saying No to a marriage proposal I had an image pop up in my brain. I could see myself on the streets in downtown Saskatoon some day after leaving Gainsborough and Carievale. Seeing a diesel truck pulling a horse trailer coming down the streets I pictured myself becoming fascinated by it and more than that my heart aching with hurt and regret. That image gave me a sense of permission to marry Russell. About Russell’s mixed reputation, over the years people have at times commented that I don’t have three children, being married to Russell I have four. Perhaps this was meant to be funny but it always made me angry. I think I sensed from the beginning that Russ could pair his fun loving ways, his shirking of norms for what it means to “be a man,” with his incredible ability to bear responsibility, pain, stress and work. I have pondered, how many men can bear the weight of the world on their shoulders and remain as playful as a child. Russell is gifted and I have been the lucky beneficiary of his many gifts. I am a very analytical and practical person, this led me to some work as I lay in bed the morning of our wedding. If I was going to get up and go say “I do” I wanted to be crystal clear in my head, why. I counted on my fingers all the reasons I was planning to marry Russell, I counted 21. I think I tell you these anecdotes because I love celebrating Russell. We all deserve to be celebrated but its my place to celebrate Russell because I have very rarely regretted my decision to link my wagon to his star.
Following the speech I shared a few pictures from our wedding and some big days since. I did a bit of explaining, then started a 3 song slide show. Here are the wedding pictures that came before.
My sister Linda escorted me down the aisle as the wedding began. My Dad was not able to, dementia was affecting him. We were married in the church I grew up in, Knox United in Saskatoon. My sisters Janet and Margie are seen singing on the left side of this picture. Our family friend Pat Deibert accompanied them singing “The Prayer”, a haunting song that begins with these words, “I pray you’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go, and help us to be wise, in times when we don’t know.” It seemed very fitting. Pat is playing a piano purchased with a donation from my brothers estate after he passed away. It has a plaque with his name on it. This is special for me to think about. Russ and I had been signing the register at this point.My Dad and I.Russell’s family following the wedding.A panorama shot of the reception. It was held in the hall at St. Martin’s United church in Saskatoon where I did some of my training and joined the congregation.We had a roping dummy and Invited our guests to give it a try. In this moment Russ is trying to teach me.On the 20th anniversary of our engagement, on August 6th, 2020 we had a vow renewal service in our yard with our minister Susan Reed leading us. In September 2021, we traveled to Newfoundland as a 20th anniversary trip. We hired a photographer to meet us at Cape Spear which is the most eastern point of North America. We filled a whole suitcase with our wedding clothes. This was pretty corny! However we got this picture! I have always been taken by it. With the road to Cape Spear in its background the truth of this picture is that we stand with our whole world stretched out behind us. What is rather amazing is that soon after this our ranch life would expand to include many people from Switzerland and Germany and also Norway. Our ranch family would soon include folks from Nova Scotia. It feels like these moments, teetering on the edge of North America are actually part of some magnetic pull that starting bringing people meant to join us, into our world.
In mid September Russ and I got on a plane in Winnipeg, less than three hours later we were in Montreal and ready for some days where we planned to spend time with friends and family and see a few sights. There are a few stories to tell from our days there. Here is the first one……drawn out a bit to paint a picture.
My cousin David and his partner live just outside of Montreal. David is a musician through and through and as luck would have it he was planning to be in Montreal while we were there. He was singing with a choir alongside the Montreal Symphony Orchestra. Once I learned this it was pretty easy for me to decide that I wanted to attend that symphony and Russ was open to it. The tickets were bought and the plan made. We met David and Lyne for a very early supper and then enjoyed a walk around Old Montreal. Lyne’s family history goes way back and we absorbed her joy in sharing a few important spots linked to her family. At one point as we walked David and I got ahead and Russ and Lyne lagged behind a bit. These moments of one on one time with Lyne sealed the deal for Russell, he felt very connected to her by the end of our time together. It is so nice when bonds and bridges get built and you can feel the effect of them. Also in those moments Russ was greatly amused by the sight of David and I ahead, both fast walkers, both with grey curly hair that bounced as we walked. I treasure whatever threads of “family” show themselves when given the chance, Russell’s observation of those bouncing curls makes me smile as I sit here.
David left us to get prepared at the concert hall and we enjoyed more time with Lyne. Eventually she walked us to the Place des Arts and Russ and I entered the world of the Montreal Symphony. It was so fun and at one level deeply familiar. With Jill performing at the Arts Centre in Regina so much over the last few years we are used to the theatre vibe; the ticket scans from our phones, the buzz of anticipation in the foyer and the large venue. This was different though. We were navigating a different language, the facility was only 20 years old and beautiful, and as we pondered the stage we saw ten cellos warming up and the biggest bass we had ever set our eyes on. This was going to be something.
What unfolded in the first half was beautiful, I found myself noting sounds that seemed perfect as they blended together, the mastery of the music was incredible. I marveled at the 78 year old bass soloist, I delighted in finding my cousins curly grey hair and checking in on him throughout, I watched eagerly as the percussion team did their thing, I really love drums. Soon enough intermission happened. We went from our third floor balcony down to the second floor and got in line at the bar. While on holidays we make it our treat to enjoy beer when opportunity arises, this was an opportunity.
Its hard to explain the set-up exactly, just picture us being among the first to arrive in the line, picture a bit of a struggle behind the bar to handle the influx of people and receive payments, picture a bit of a “make your request and move over there” vibe (but in French at first), and then imagine that when all was said and done Russ and I were behind a roped off area, standing at tall bar tables, each with a beer in hand and visiting with each other. That is when a very polished looking gentleman came over to us, he was on his own and he asked if he could join us (in French), once we established that our French was very limited he made his best effort in English. He was very friendly and we got a bit acquainted quite quickly. Perhaps learning that we are ranchers from Saskatchewan is what prompted the question he asked that instantly made me feel like Ma Kettle. He said (picture his French accent) something like this, “so you are friends of the symphony or with the youth circle?” I don’t remember the exact terms but how he said it made it suddenly dawn on us that we were not supposed to be in the roped off area, we were to be with the common folk loitering elsewhere, not in the space meant to reward donors. The country folk had arrived, blown right past the signs they didn’t understand and were acting like they belonged there!!!! We stammered for a second and started to apologize but before we could he said, “I’m not security, stay!” So we did.
This whole thing struck us so funny, but I am not sure it is funny. If it is, what is it that makes it funny?
I think it could have something to do with the contrast of our self identity as country bumpkins rubbing up against the classy folk of Montreal. It definitely has something to do with the bumbling that was part of it. Its like we tripped, almost fell but then landed safely on our feet, with our drinks upright, right there behind those ropes, except it was language we tripped on. Further, once given a blessing to be there we mastered the “fake it til you make it” approach. That approach holds some suspense, when will the “faking it” not work and the “making it” end? We were giggling and it still makes us smile to remember.
One more thing happened that tickled our fancy. A stranger came over after our first stranger friend moved on, the new stranger just had to meet the guy wearing the cowboy boots because she too was wearing western boots. Experiencing her delight made us feel like there was space for us in this classy environment and not only that we were actually kindv’e cool.
I think this story delights me because it brings to mind those entertaining TV shows of my youth where according to my memory Ma and Pa Kettle regularly embarrassed themselves but kept trying with every opportunity they were given. Our story also connects with questions of identity. I have never felt at ease among people who are fancy, certain I will not live up to expectations. This story had us feeling like we were staying afloat among the fancy folks. Beyond the sense of permission we were given what gave us the courage to stay once we were found out? I think there was a certain confidence we gained from being at each others side. I feel our holiday ease, excitement and time with David and Lyne meant we had a noticeable little joy glow, maybe that was appreciated. At some level we knew that a cowboy at the symphony is inherently different and made us interesting. Another thing is that at our age I think we are absorbing more fully than we have before that “Jesus Loves Me” is not just a sentimental song lyric, its our truth, we are loved and loveable, just as we are. That is something. That is a big something.
Here are a few pictures.
This is the view from our seats as the symphony came to a close, there was a standing ovation. My cousin David is in the chorus on the right side, just under that arrow I added to the picture.Russ and I in our seats.David, Lyne and I during our walk. Old Montreal is so beautiful.Two cousins with bouncing curly hair go for a walk.Russ and his new symphony friend.Country boots meet city boots.
This first chunk of writing was done a couple weeks ago sitting in an airport.
About eight months ago there was some talk at our place about an ideal situation. This got started because both Morgan and our cousin Laurie have been fans of a televised competition called “Road to the Horse.” Russ said, “I would gladly pay the expenses for those two to drive to Kentucky and take that in.” I agreed with him but truth be told it seemed like something stirring among the men and I pretty much stayed out of it. Talk got a little more serious and it became clear that it would not be possible for Laurie to get away. Russ could not leave that close to calving season. Would Morgan just have to miss out on it? That most certainly would not be the end of the world. We don’t have to attend everything that interests us, in fact, of course, we can’t. However there were two details that kept us coming back to how to make this work. The first is that Morgan loves horse training.
A recent photo of Morgan working on one of four horses he is currently training.
This event was a chance to witness seasoned trainers apply their methods to never touched two year old horses. We felt this was not entertainment as much as an educational opportunity. We have spent precious little money on Morgan’s extra curricular interests thru the years. It felt like a good use of our resources to see if we could get him there. The second detail that really pulled at Russell’s heart strings is that 28 years ago he attended a horse training clinic led by a young trainer named Ken McNabb. That man was set to be one of the competitors at this years event. Russell so wanted Morgan to get to meet him and learn from him. So my little ‘ol brain started percolating.
What would it cost for Morgan and I to drive there and how much time would it take? We are not far from Minot, what would a flight from there cost? Those two inquiries led to figures I was not happy with, in terms of time and dollars. I tried one more thing. I checked out the Westjet site and found extremely reasonable ticket prices. I called Russ saying, “hey, can you believe this?” He said, “book it!” So it was that Morgan and I became official travel partners. I figured we would rent a car, I would drive Morgan to the facility and then return to our lodging where I would have four days to keep working on this book of ours. This screenshot of texts with Russ records the big moments.
When it came time to book tickets to the event, which I put off until January, 🫣 I checked with fear in my heart, we had plane tickets but no event tickets. I learned there were lots of good choices left. 🥵🤠 When I asked Morgan about where he wanted to sit he informed me that he really wanted me to attend with him. Huh. What was I to do? I am not that big into horses, and watching horses being trained sounded like something I could miss. On the other hand, how often does your teen say to you, “come with me Mom.” So, I agreed to attend and figured I would bring my laptop and try not to look too weird as I typed and others watched the events.
The days flew as they do and all of a sudden our trip was only days away. I was feeling pretty mixed about it. Russ and I have been away much more than usual as we went to his Farmers for Climate Solutions meetings three different times in recent months. I was not really excited about packing up and heading out one more time, especially to a very unfamiliar place. As much as I have travelled in the U.S. I had never been to Kentucky or Georgia. A Westjet schedule change after our tickets were purchased meant that we were to have an 8 hour layover in Atlanta. Was I up for this? I had to be. Last Tuesday after school Morgan and I headed to Regina in order to be there when our flight departed Wednesday morning at 5:30. We settled into seats I had spent a little extra money on to get extra leg room. With an open seat in our row we took off, feeling pretty darn comfortable, but moreso, blessed. Good-bye Saskatchewan! What started eight months earlier as some percolating ideas and hopes was now our reality, as real as the cups of coffee we held in the airport waiting lounge.
Ready to soar out of Regina.
That is the end of chapter one of this story. There are several more chapters.
Today’s reality….
Calving has really started around here….
Yesterday morning the first heifer calved. It was Alanis Morisette, this morning Russ has reported that Rod Stewart calved. The crew found Bells and Dr. Seuss had calved on their last check last night. Unfortunately Apples delivered a stillborn preemie too. Morgan, Gina and Russ have just headed out to saddle up for the first check of the morning. Morgan will be at school in two hours, on time.
Russ needed to bring our biscuit heifers and grassers home yesterday. He somehow got me on a horse and I, Kathy Kyle, the usual cook and coffee lady, trailed cows for the first time in my whole life. It was a beautiful evening and I have to admit it was fun. Morgan let me ride his faithful pal “Warhorse”and it felt pretty easy. Russ was pretty excited and took lots of videos. Here is one. It has beautiful scenery.
As Russ is fond of declaring loudly, “we’re calving now!”
For the foreseeable future this ranch crew is staying home and travelers are coming to us!
Friday morning: April 5th – With my coffee beside me I am geared up to check in. I have hardly blogged this winter. I have thought about it a lot of times but time has felt hard to come by. I am hoping to do better. The fact is, it feels like I have hardly been home and a side truth of that is that I am counting my blessings.
Any day now our first calves will start coming. The first shift of our visiting calving crew have already arrived. My daughter Gina is here for another week, when I take her to the airport I am picking up Anja our friend from Switzerland, when I take her back to the airport in mid May I am picking up our friends from Nova Scotia who are coming for almost two weeks. We have friends and family to share this whole season of ranching with. I will be cooking a lot, I am looking forward to being home and focused.
Russ took this picture of Gina heading in for supper after the last check of the cows.
What shaped the first quarter of 2024 was travel. Russell volunteered to serve on a forum organized by “Farmers for Climate Solutions.” That had me joining him on three different workshop trips, he had meetings in all three prairie provinces. I will say more about this in another blog. Travelling with Russ was fun but more than that it allowed me some experiences I would never have had otherwise. The best part is we met some really nice people.
A walk at Kananaskis.
Last summer I let my mind wander into the territory of my hopes and longings for my life. I wrote it down. I want to travel was one thing that emerged clearly. I guess a person has to be careful what they wish for because for a while recently it seemed I was never home.
A quick summary of the last three weeks will give me a jumping off point for future blogs and if I never get back to them you will know that I am resting!
On Tuesday March 12th Russ and I headed west. We carpooled with a kindred spirit from the workshops Russ was attending. We had a very fun roadtrip that found us safely in Kananaskis by nightfall.
Saturday March 16th had us heading home, we had the chance to give a friend from Calgary a ride to Regina, which meant our car was full and our trip home felt like a party at times.
Before heading off again I had two days at home with some church leadership and two important meetings.
Morgan and I left Carnduff late on Tuesday the 19th in order to be on a plane out of Regina early the next morning. After a long travel day Wednesday we found ourselves walking into the night air outside the airport in Lexington, Kentucky.
4:10am – checked in and coffee in hand at the Regina Airport.At 10:05pm Lexington time we were off the plane and saw this sign. It felt welcoming and a good photo op.As we waited for our Uber our first moments in Lexington allowed us to savor the sight of pots of established tulips. Lovely!
Morgan and I spent the next four days attending an event at the Kentucky Horse Park called “Road to the Horse.” It was an awesome experience.
When the event was over we had to get home so were on a plane out of Lexington early on the 25th. I had booked a decent flight schedule but it got changed after booking and it turned out we had an eight hour layover in Atlanta. Morgan and I found our way out of the Atlanta airport, got in an Uber and headed to the Martin Luther King Centre. This was a major experience for me. To be explored more in a future blog.
We landed back in Regina at 1:15am on the Tuesday. I had a hotel booked and we crashed for about six hours before Morgan headed back to Carnduff on his own. Russ came to Regina by mid afternoon, we met one of our oldest friends for supper and then attended the musical that Jill was in “The Prom.” It was a great show. The next day we spent time with Jill and did a bit of shopping. We were home in time for a later supper with Morgan.
Lunch with Jill.
Some sad developments at home meant that my schedule filled up quickly for the first six days back. Good Friday, Easter Sunday, three funerals and a board meeting for the music festival meant there was no down time. Towards the end of all that Gina flew into Regina and Jill drove her to the ranch. We had some family time. Jill went home last night. I am struggling with extreme weariness but I have so many things to think about.
Our first family supper in a very long while.
I have a personal standard for myself that a blog has to be interesting from a human or ranch perspective and/or funny. A recitation of what I have been up to is not interesting in my mind. Its just a list until the meaning of it can be unpacked. I really hope to poke at the pieces of whats here and share a few stories in the weeks ahead.
In the meantime, writing a full five days later now, I have this to say. Wow, am I tired. The demands of travel and leadership, but moreso I think just being out of routine has me feeling really disoriented and wow can I nap!
Our first calf arrived a couple days ago and there hasn’t been anything else since. Once things start I have the feeling we will be having lots of birth announcements. The first cow to calve this year was “Butter” and her calf was born on the day of the eclipse, so we named it Eclipse.
Here is a quote that fell out of my funeral notes as I put them away today, it ties up alot of what my recent days were all about.
Anne Lamott said: “Easter says that love is more powerful than death, bigger than the dark, bigger than cancer and bigger even then airport security lines.”
A few weeks ago I was blogging live from the Bar MW working chute. Today the location is distinctly different. I am coming to you from the St. David dorm room in the guest house at Sisterhood of St. John the Divine in Toronto. I am in an Anglican convent. Rain is falling quite heavily and its kind’ve a great atmosphere. Russell is enjoying milking my location for all its worth, he has been telling me that when chatting with friends he enjoys saying things like, “you think you’ve got it bad, my wife left me and went to a convent!” Its true. But I only left for a bit.
I didn’t feel right about taking many pictures while I was at the convent. I found this one on the website. These are the women I spent my days near.
Here is how this came about….back in January my sister and I were talking. She shared with me something she had recently been invited to do and that was to set goals for the new year, as opposed to resolutions. It made sense to me. The process included writing the goals on index cards and reviewing them regularly. I made goals. I wanted to read a fiction book every month and a non-fiction every three months. I wanted to ride my exercise bike with some pattern. I wanted to do some extended fasting. I wanted to work a variety of spiritual care practices into my living. I set all these things up in measurable ways. But a really important goal was that I wanted to connect with my elders more. They mean so much to me but you would never know it by how I live my life most of the time. So my goals included, “visit Uncle Ted.” In March as I reviewed the goals I realized I had to get my head around how this was going to happen. A rancher in Saskatchewan doesn’t just schedule a visit with a man in Toronto without a little planning. The pieces fell into place pretty quickly, very quickly when I realized I could get a Westjet flight to Toronto for $79 due to a sale I stumbled upon. As I thought through the options for how this could look I connected with a memory of a previous time. When I lived in Saskatoon I booked myself into a retreat house there, a place where I could go to be apart from the rigors of daily life, experience silence, be fed both spiritually and physically, talk to a spiritual director and perhaps come away renewed. I loved those days. I have tried to recreate them with varying levels of success. When I stumbled on this memory it feels like my brain literally went “ding.” I thought I could probably merge visiting family and friends with retreat life and I went on the internet. What existed in Toronto? I found the convent I am currently sitting in. For a very reasonable fee I have a very comfortable room, 3 beautiful meals a day and invitation to join the sisters in their times in the chapel. Silence is the norm in most of the public spaces, it is healing and thought provoking.
There is lots more that could be said about some of these pieces, I hope to write about some of them later.
(Fast-forward a little bit….)
I am currently starting my last full day here at the convent. It was a good decision to come here. I fly home tomorrow. In about an hour I am setting off to get to the Finch Subway station, I am going to ride south to Bloor and Yonge, transfer trains and find my way to the Kipling station, if it goes smoothly its about an hour on the trains. I will bring my book. Not far from Kipling station I will meet my Uncle for lunch. I saw him on the day I arrived but due to the distances involved, my need for rest and my desire to see other family and friends I have here, I wasn’t expecting to see Uncle Ted again. It sounds odd to plan a trip to see a person and then only see them once. The thing is, and its weird maybe, I just needed to see him, for my heart it didn’t matter for how long or how much. But since that first day I have become confident enough on the subway system and I feel rested and my cousin gave me the inside scoop on Uncle Ted’s favorite restaurant, so I called him up and we made a date.
(Fast-forward again…….)
A selfie at the Dundas Street Grille.
I am finishing this blog now, sitting in the departure lounge at the airport…. and now my spot on the plane. I read over what I wrote yesterday with its extreme amount of detail, why should you care what trains I had to take? I think that is my way of being seen for something that is kindv’e important to me. I might live on a ranch, with my hometown not even in possession of a traffic light, but I can still find my city girl groove and I am deeply thrilled that it allowed heart to heart connection with one of my people. I am super lucky to have all the pieces in place that make trips like this happen. The backbone of it is a spouse who figures he can run the ranch without me for a bit and drops me at the airport with his blessing.
The automobile action….a trip to the airport towing our trusty Hyundai on a trailer. Russell was an absolute Rockstar getting this trailer backed into and then out of the Hyundai service lot. Thanks to the Powells for lending us their trailer. Perhaps a sign that I needed some rest…I cut my lip with a bag of canned food the day before. It was pretty klutzy.Inside the Toronto airport.I walked through heavy rain to get to the Subway station.Arriving into Regina. Russ gave me a warm welcome home, including a meal at the Lancaster Taphouse. It was here we made a great connection with our server. Just one of those times when everything clicks and you have a rich conversation. It was totally fun to have a reunion a few days later when we spotted her in the midst of the pride parade. (Picture below).Russell made good use of his trip back to the airport. He dropped off some cow calf pairs at our Manor pasture. That got him about 40 miles closer to Regina. He then unhooked the livestock trailer and headed to get me. Our trip home included picking up the trailer and checking the herd. It was great to see the calves looking good and enjoying their summer residence.The last bit of action of my time away had me on my own two feet again in a setting drastically different from the umbrella picture. This calved out heifer named “Stir” had somehow got outside the fence. Russ went ahead to open the gate and see it got turned in, I walked it back and together we got her reunited with her calf in the pasture.
I have not yet had the chance to look over my goals for ’22 index cards. When I do, it will be with a warm feeling in my heart that I write “accomplished – June 3 and 7/22.” Have I mentioned I feel lucky?
Russ and I are home from a trip. It’s a trip that we began planning two years ago, thinking ahead to our 20th anniversary. However, the cruise we planned for fall 2020 was cancelled, and so was the one we then booked for fall 2021. At the point where the 2nd cruise was cancelled we decided to fly to St. John’s Newfoundland for a week.
On September 13th we were pretty elated to be in a plane and successfully soaring towards our holiday. After all the changes to our plans, and then changes to our changes as a result of Hurricane Larry, it felt amazing to be on our way.
A picture we took after arriving at the St. John’s Airport. After all the changes to our plans we could hardly believe we were really there.
When we landed in St. John’s we had already submitted a travel form that included an attached record of our vaccinations. So when we got to the airport exit and took our turn going through the screening desk, they were able to pull up our form and see that we were clear to exit and start our holiday. Bottom line…..we complied with their expectation and were deemed acceptable. Honestly, I know there is so many hard thoughts and feelings around how all this is or isn’t handled, but my reality was that we were finally starting our adventure, and I felt gratitude for what had made that possible. In my head many times was the thought “isn’t it amazing that in the midst of a very contagious variant of a pandemic illness we are on the move.”
After we arrived Monday night we got unpacked at the Air Bnb we had booked and then walked the few blocks that would take us to George Street. We found ourselves at a pub called O’Reilly’s where we began our tasting of Newfoundland beer and goodies. We had nachos with moose meat on them and Newfoundland poutine. When we first approached the bouncer at the door he drew us close and looked us in the eye and said, “wer’e all vaccinated eh loves, all double vaccinated?” Yes we were. “Well then loves you just take your masks off, we’re all good here, we all gots the vaccine.” And there we sat, in the heart of St. John’s Newfoundland, enjoying local everything, including live Newfie music and getting called “love” by tough looking strangers!
Part of the local delight was Newfie beer. We enjoyed pubs and breweries, we went to the Yellow Belly Brewery patio twice and bought beer to take home too. We had fun with this sampler we ordered and as a result decided that we definitely had a favorite Newfie beer, made at this very spot. Our favorite was called “Stay Where Your’e At”, usually bottled as “Come From Away”, in honor of Covid it was renamed temporarily.
Something about our holiday that we really enjoyed was the chance to make new friends. We didn’t come home with new buddies, but we connected on a human to human level with people we had never met before, from cultures we were not familiar with. There was an old man on the corner of our street who flagged us down to talk. He was anxious to tell us a bit about himself, he was intrigued to hear about our ranch. He told us he is 81 years old and he has lived in the same house for 81 years, he was born there, it was his “mudders” and she gave it to him. He asked us to wait a minute and keep watch of his dog while he went into his house. He came back with lapel pins for us that say “St. John’s”. It was only a few random minutes but our sense of neighborhood was enriched.
Russ in our neighborhood. Our neighborhood..me standing in front of our place. It looks tiny but it had three decks off the other side and all we could ever need.
We enjoyed a lunch on the balcony of the Quidi Vidi brewery until rain forced us inside. There we shared a table with two travellers from the Washington, D.C. area. We learned they were friends who had worked together and retired from national security. As we talked about the work they did and what we did a very interesting thought to ponder came up, something I think we will include in the book we are writing. Their joyful energy was fun, a treat to experience.
At the Quidi Vidi brewery enjoying the shelter and the visiting. Wish we could package that rain and bring it home.Russ surveying the little fishing village known as “The Quidi Vidi Gut.”
We had an incredibly charismatic boat steward on a small ocean trip we took with Iceberg Quest. His name was “Glen”, his energy and charisma made our day, we should have known we were up for a blast when he ushered us on the boat wearing a pirate hat and never took it off. During the trip he learned I was a minister. The last thing he said to me as we disembarked was “pray for me.” I have not taken that lightly, although maybe he was just kidding, us ministers hear that often enough.
On the boat ride we got “screeched in” and became honorary Newfoundlanders.
If you want to know more about the screeching in tradition I have an invitation for you. Search up the musical “Come From Away” on whatever streaming platform you have. Youtube music worked for me. If you have time listen to the whole thing. You get the story of 9-11, from the angle of what happened in Gander Newfoundland that very scary day 20 years ago. It is so heartwarming of a story and so much Newfie culture comes through. If you don’t have time for the whole musical just search up “Screech In”, that song explores the tradition.
The effects of Hurricane Larry had subsided and the ocean was calm. Glen, Nate and Barry our crew were able to take us to the far side of Cape Spear. This is the most eastern point of North America. We think that is a very cool fact
We encountered more than a few people asking for money. I stood very close to one as he looked me straight in the eye to ask for what he needed. I could not believe the beauty of his eyes. I have seen few people in my life with more beautiful eyes. I asked him for his name, I just wanted to call him by his name, it was weird what was going on inside of me. I wasn’t poking for info it just seemed important to me that as we put some money in his hands I could use his name, maybe hoping to somehow give the message, “I see your humanity.” I think about him alot still.
By late in the holiday Russ needed another book to read, we tackled a long walk to find Chapters. Enroute we came across the building which houses the Saturday farmers market. It was Sunday and a multicultural market was on. I felt like we had struck gold. We had seen few people of color and I had been wondering about the immigrant community. We landed in and found friendly friendly people, eager to share their cultural wares with us. I brought three aprons. We mingled with the folks there, (masks on after a new level of precaution was enacted the day before). I promised the woman who had stayed up all night sewing aprons to sell at the market, that I would take a picture of me wearing her apron while serving trail food to our cowboys and I would send it to her. That pleased her. It is a GORGEOUS apron.
Here I am standing with the creator of my very colorful apron.
Our taxi ride back to the airport included conversation about driving back to our ranch from the Regina airport. We have a ranch, we have cows. That information was literally exciting to our driver. He had experience with cows in his home country, he loved something about them. By the time we parted from him I had given him my blog address and our names. He laughed heartily at himself when he realized that he had forgotten to collect our money, he was so distracted by the talk of cows.
It was so much fun and interesting to randomly make these connections.
Like many people on a holiday I experienced relief from all the duties that shape my usual everyday life. As wonderful as that is it creates a huge void. Left with tons of time to shape as we wanted a very important variable was at play and it made me realize again that I married the right person. Someone who knows me, with all my quirks, and what he knows about me he likes and he relates to. So, everyday we ambled through activities that mean a lot to both of us and we chit chatted and joked and interacted with the people and events we encountered with a deep comfort. As the days went by I noticed how much I often opened my mouth and spoke, joked and quipped without thinking twice, no need to guard or censor myself. I don’t think this is totally unusual for me or anything, but somehow it hit me, I was feeling particularly free to be myself. One of the things we talked about, maybe as we made a marathon uphill walk to the top of Signal Hill, (something Russell would like credit for, and he deserves it…..because I coaxed he and I both into alot of walking/hiking that day)….anyways…..what I asked him was “Russell, all over facebook people are talking about their freedoms being taken away. Have you ever experienced your freedom being taken away?” He thought about it and said “No.” I said, “me neither, so I am kind’ve confused. What are these people talking about?” I am thankful that Russell has never said, “Kathy, your’e too analytical.” I heard that enough in my life before Russell. So, he welcomes my wandering thoughts and efforts to figure things out maybe because he is analytical too. Perhaps this enjoyment/acceptance of each other is how we made it through our almost 21 years, because there were some points it seemed iffy. Marking that accomplishment we did something really corny and maybe a bit excessive. We hired a photographer and we packed our original wedding clothes and we had a session at Cape Spear, the most eastern point of the continent. I hope to do a blog telling some of that story but for now here is one image from our gallery, me and the guy I get to be most totally myself with.
This video is one Russ made for the kids but it captures a part of our hiking adventure and more importantly gives a real feel for part of the Terry Fox story, which is being marked this week in Carnduff.
Another thing that happened for me on this holiday was that I was reminded about who I am. We took the city bus several times to get where we were going. In those moments I was reminded that I am a city girl. The rhythm and process of that bus skirting through the city streets was something I had written down deep within me. It was as familiar as horseback is for Russell. In contrast to that, the first bus ride we had, Russell asked me with some concern, “how do we tell the driver when we want to get off?” With some shock I asked him, “you don’t know? Well you just pull on the bell chord up here on the wall.” Our different backgrounds were starkly clear. Having said that, I could count on one hand the number of hours I have spent on a school bus, Russ has given years of his life to that experience with several stories to tell because of it. One of the more surprising things I learned about myself was how much I love to be active. It was very practical to be walking, rental cars were unavailable, buses took time, almost everywhere we wanted to go we were within 4km and it was walkable. I loved it. I never expected to be able to say that. I have put some time to trying to figure out why I resist exercise at home but I was more and more thirsty for it as the days went by in St. John’s. I think part of the reason is the walking was so practical and it felt so good (mostly).
We had mostly extraordinary weather, this sun drenched evening photo illumines one of our last restaurant meals, we shared an order of fish and chips and we shared a moose burger. They were both really good, washed down with some YYT ale. They were sold out of “Stay Where Your’e At”, but I don’t think it was our fault.
As our holiday was unfolding I found myself a bit obsessed in my thoughts with the topic of freedom. Perhaps because we were doing what seemed unthinkable only months ago. I was noticing all the different ways I was experiencing freedom besides being able to go 4000km from home, ….freedom to be myself, freedom to be in contact with different people, freedom to learn more about myself and the freedom to do that without worry of causing harm. All these freedoms mean alot and I find myself wondering if the current laser focus on freedom as people define it, is causing us to forget to see, nurture and take ownership for all the different ways that freedom does or does not touch our lives. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong, but I sure had some good things unfold, I had a good break and so did my best pal.
As Far As The Eye Can See 