rest – As Far As The Eye Can See

Loose Ends

Loose End #1 – Those of you who are subscribers and get notified of a new post through email might have been confused by a link you received earlier this week that said a new post was up but then you found it password protected. Sorry about that. I was trying to get it approved by the people being named in the post before it went to public distribution. I was going to change the setting to public when I had the thumbs up. I didn’t realize that all subscribers would get the confusing email. Sorry about that and oops. It should now be viewable for you. I am always learning more about how WordPress works.

Loose End #2 – I received a few pictures from last week’s cow chase work after I had already posted about it. I like the pictures though so I am adding them here.

Sharon sent me this picture. I am not sure what was going on exactly but its funny, there are no cowboys in sight. Its as if the cows said, “hey, lets go for a walk shall we?” In fact, there are times when this happens, when they get this idea in their heads and when it does it is not a laughing matter. Our Ox named Moo is leading the way.

Sharon also sent this super picture of Teanna and Kadence having their lunch.

Sharon is great about grabbing pictures of the lunch girls in action. I like that this picture captures the scope of what we have going on. I am slightly alarmed that the lid is off the gravy. Everyone must have been fed.

There are eight trucks and trailers waiting for the crew at the destination pasture. This is thanks to some friends whose role is to drive trucks from the start point to the end. I am thankful Sharon grabbed this photo.

Griffin sent me this beautiful Saturday sunrise photo.

Loose End #3 – And finally we have a new horse to introduce you to. There is a story that goes with its arrival.

Several years ago Russell and I decided we wanted to do better at teaching our kids delayed gratification, like you don’t always have to have everything you see, just because in the moment its enticing. We started using a question. When any one of us become sure we need to buy something, to help ensure its not an impulse buy we ask “Did you wake up this morning thinking you needed a ________________?” This question has served us pretty well. Except for that one time when it was used in an attempt at humor.

We were at Costco. Which means we had been having some kind of roadtrip day. All five of us were shopping. Which means my patience was likely getting tested to the max. Just before we went to the check-out I remembered something I forgot and I raced off. When I returned I also had a bag of ciabatta buns in my hand. Jill looked at me and said, “did you wake up this morning thinking you needed ciabatta buns?” I did not find this funny, at all, and I nearly bit her poor head off. This moment ensured that the phrase “did you wake up this morning……?” would become enshrined in our family dictionary and also that ciabatta buns would be a topic to tease Mom with for a long time after. It has died down recently.

Fast forward to Monday.

Russ and I had booked a little tiny cabin to stay at in Carpio, North Dakota, an hour from our house and a little place to rest. We decided to travel there via Minot, get a few groceries and goodies (cheap beer and Copenhagen) and do a tiny bit of shopping. We checked out a store new to us, “HomeGoods”, while there we both found things. I found the tablecloth I had been looking for, long enough to fit my table when stretched right out. Russ found a horse statue. He really liked it but left it where he found it. The only problem was that, wouldn’t you know it, he woke up on Tuesday morning saying to himself, “I think I need that horse.” Which means that he could say to me, “Kathy, I woke up this morning thinking I need to go back to Minot, thinking I need that horse.” Wednesday the same thing happened again. He woke up thinking, “I need to buy that horse!” So, after we left our little cabin we came home via Minot and stopped to buy our horse. Russ loaded it with care, insisting it must be strapped in and we brought it home.

Its a good thing we didn’t have the dogs with us, I can’t imagine what Bingo would have thought of this.

At this point we have not named it. Nothing obvious is coming to my mind. We would welcome any suggestions. I figured I should post about our purchase because we introduced you to Elton John and Skywalker last month, why would we hold back on this purchase?

A little bit more about Carpio…… After our big chase weekend, as we headed south for our time away, we were very quiet. As we ate lunch in Minot, we were very quiet. I said to Russ, “we are really quiet.” He said, “Kathy, I try to talk to everyone on the trail, I am sure that yesterday I talked to forty people.” By Wednesday as we headed off from Carpio we were yucking it up, both of us in supremely good moods. We had spoken to exactly two people since we arrived there on Monday, (not counting a few phonecalls). It was only the waitresses who had served us some food in Carpio and Foxholm whom we needed to interact with. That’s it. We seemed to benefit from that quiet. Even as we have landed firmly in middle age I think we are both still figuring out what it takes to keep us fuelled. As much as we love the friendzy of our cow chase weekends (an intentional typo there), we need the pull back time too. Probably many of our crew do too.

Loose End #4 – This morning I changed my earrings. I took off the ones I had been wearing since just before Hurricane Fiona struck. I wrote about that in an earlier post (Celtic Solidarity?). It felt odd. I was not relieved to have something new. I did ponder how very much the Nova Scotia people went through while I wore them.

Well I think I have tied up all the loose ends I need to for this day. I will let you know what we call our newest horse once we get it named!

Weekend Aftershocks

We try not to plan much for the day after a weekend of cow chasing. Today was that kind of day.

Events last week meant we were short one of our trucks for hauling our 2nd trailer for the cow chases. Fortunately for us the Powells lent us a truck for the weekend. This morning we wanted to get that returned. We made it our planned reward to go out for a late breakfast between that drop off and our next thing. A reward for doing the work of the two chase days. I have to say it felt pretty fine to sit at the diner, and it was noticeably great when Christine slid a delicious omelette in front of me. I was being served, after almost a hundred thousand calories passed through my hands enroute to others this weekend, (105 meals at a 1,000 calories per?). After breakfast was over we got a tractor picked up from one field and headed to another to get a load of bales. While Russ loaded the flat deck full of bales I sat in the truck and returned messages. I made him pose with his load when it was done.

Bingo was itchy I guess and is not showing her most dignified self in this picture.

I got a message late last night with a couple more pictures from yesterday.

Maja took this shot. It’s another one with beautiful colors but also records the presence of Judith (on the left), an agriculture worker from Germany, and Jenna on the right. She is David’s daughter and has not been with us on the trail recently. It was great to have her.

As Russ and I had breakfast we talked over how things went on the weekend. Two things might be of interest to readers….

1. Why do we start so early?

Saturday we had a very long ride and needed every hour of daylight to ensure we got the herd to pasture before dark. They made it with 90 minutes to spare. Several years ago complications meant that same ride took til well after dark. That wasn’t the first time we ended in dark but it was the most extreme. It was dangerous and very worrisome. We had riders that day that never ever have come back.

The risk of a dark arrival was not high on Sunday with a shorter distance to cover and moving heifers versus cow calf pairs. Indeed, the crew was back at the ranch and eating lunch by 1:30. I thought to myself “Russ must really live in fear of a complicated chase to get everyone up so early that no sunlight is wasted.” When we talked it over Russ said it wasn’t that. Early October days can get hot, an early start means avoiding the heat of afternoon. Last year this same chase started after we had lunch at the ranch. It got hot. The heat tuckered the cows out. Russ called the Patons to ask permission to break into their pasture and water our cows from their dug-out. They gave their permission. No small thing in a drought year. They had to rest the heifers for about an hour then. Russ didn’t want a repeat of that. So there are a few variables in how things get timed out.

2. Why so many riders?

We actually had a pretty searching conversation about this with the kids at supper. That many people around shapes the experiences of all of us. To my surprise it was Morgan who questioned the practice of a welcome extended to all. He is tired, not the easiest time to draw forth one’s welcoming instinct. The bottom line is we invite the people who show an interest and whoever shows up shows up, although we mostly know in advance who that is for trailer, horse and food planning purposes. We don’t enjoy everyone, we are not angels and none of our crew is perfect. It can get tricky. Every single person on the trail gets stretched in one way or another almost every day.

Yesterday our numbers were pretty extreme, we had almost 1 horse and rider for every 2 heifers on the trail. It turned out to be helpful twice. First when rounding up the herd in the heavy fog we dealt with yesterday. Russ organized the cowboys and cowgirls very strategically to advance across the pasture almost in a formation, allowing them to sweep forward all the heifers that emerged from the fog before them. The second time was when they needed to cross railroad tracks and these young animals were skittish and very hesitant. Russ got the crew to completely surround the herd and contained like that, fenced in so to speak, they gave the heifers time to think about it, settle down a bit and decide it was their own idea to go across. Russ likes this method of dealing with cattle, slow and easy, non aggressive unless neccesary, he feels it’s safer and easier on the animals. I heard some riders talking about it later a little amazed at how Russ made that crew coordinate in those moments without raising his voice much at all. That is not always the case. Russ yells on the trail when neccesary, it’s hard for those of us who are used to his more cuddly demeanor.

As Russ and I sat and talked over these questions he was reminded of past times when he moved animals home. He said this weekend we had one extreme, he has lived the other. Back in the PMU days he moved a herd of horses home from the Manor pasture all by himself. He had seven horses loaded in the trailer that Walter his Dad drove down the road. Russ had played them all out by the time it was done. He had a couple other stories that if you didn’t know Russ or his family you might not believe. These stories should be a blog all on their own. Russell’s summary of it all, “I have done this with both extremes of help, zero and lots, with help is way more fun.”

Maja’s 2nd picture…. a worn out “Coffee” dog. She got kicked on Saturday, she was fortunate to have no lasting effects. She was so goofy on the trail yesterday there was some brief wondering if she was more affected than first thought. She apparently couldn’t decide whether to clean up the ditches or chase cows and often tried to do both.

Post chase days almost always include an episode of lost and found. Today that includes this mug and a pair of Polarized brand sunglasses. Any takers? We also found a strange half grown black and white kitten in the barn. It’s possible it was a stowaway on one of the trailers in the yard this weekend. Anyone know anything about that?

There were lots of readers from Canada, the U S. and Europe that had a look at the weekend blogs. That was fun and encouraging. Thanks to you readers! Feel free to share any blog if you think someone in your circle would enjoy it.

We have a little bit of a break from cow chasing now. Ranch activity over the next bit involves alot of effort to bring hay and straw bales home. I am hoping to get some things off the to do list and get writing. There is alot to be said.

The Fruit of your REST

There is a phrase we use in Canada and probably in lots of other places too, it is “the fruit of your labor.” When I use that phrase I mean the good stuff or the benefits that come from work done. Lately I have found myself thinking about the opposite, that is, the benefits of taking rest time.

In June I took advantage of a seat sale and got to go to Toronto where I stayed in an Anglican convent and did lots of resting. I also spent time with friends and family. Those were great days. When I came home I found myself with a word in my head. This word bears no connection that I can see to the things I experienced in Toronto, but nonetheless it was there. The word was “decisive.” I found myself with a readiness to deal with a longstanding problem. I had a strategy emerge for it. This all seems so weird. This was not what I was expecting to receive from my “retreat” days.

Rest time often brings with it a change of perspective.

The problem I had was that I have lived with a sense of urgency for far too long. When that happens, like so many of you know, you deal with what is urgent, and push to the side what is important but not urgent. In my life, what that meant, was that I had opened and paid all our bills as the months and years have gone by, but all mail that did not have that kind of urgency was not opened. Things that did not have an obvious place to be put away got piled in and around my desk. I counted. I had almost 250 unopened pieces of mail, bank and credit card statements mostly, having been paid on line and monitored online, the mail itself had no urgency. I also had at least 140 miscellaneous things piled on and near my desk. It was all weighing me down. How could I accept an invitation from Russell to ride along on a journey to pastures or elsewhere when all that chaos was hanging over my head? I decided I had to tell Russell what the numbers were and share what was burdening me. Then I had to deal with it. I am learning that a big work day set aside for a major overhaul rarely can actually come to pass. This had to be a longhaul overhaul. I made a chart. I identified the problems I had before me and committed to open five pieces of mail a day and put away five of those miscellaneous things. I added other things to the chart that would help me prevent further chaos, like opening three current pieces of mail each day. I am now almost 3 months into this process and I am over the moon about the difference this is making at my desk but also in my head and heart.

My desk usually looks something like this now.

Two weeks ago I took a few days off and after going to a Regina appointment kept driving north for a visit with my people in Saskatoon. I stayed with my cousin but each morning we got up and going and went to my sister’s for coffee. It was great.

In one of these visits talk turned to the fact that each of them wear activity trackers. My eyes were opened to the benefits of wearing something that could track many health details and activity level. I came home knowing I needed to research that for myself. Russ and I each got one. Is it life in the 50s plus age zone that makes you take health stuff more seriously? Not sure, but the first days with the trackers have been very interesting and this tracker is going to be helpful, I can tell. Sitting down for these visits because I chose to step away from the ranch for a bit allowed something new and helpful to enter my radar.

We have had some hard and frustrating days lately. Russ sent me this screenshot on one of the worst days last week. We are both finding it interesting and validating to have what we are going through spelled out like this.

What feels controversial about how rest happens around here relates to Russ. Basically he has got to a point where he is claiming time to rest and rejuvenate because he enjoys it so much. He is bucking the training that has been part of his culture since day one. That training would say that as long as the sun is up, you are either at work or at a doctors appointment or something super important with your kids. Time taken away from the ranch implies perhaps laziness, perhaps lack of dedication, perhaps lack of concern for the welfare of the farm/ranch. Time taken away brings with it guilt. I have no idea how it has happened that Russ has found the way clear to resist that culture and its guilt and claim the time we need. I can tell you it has made a difference.

We recently went to Minot for two nights. Russ said, “Kathy, that greenfeed is not going to be dry enough to bale until at least Wednesday, lets go to Minot.” I said, “Russ, we were just there last month. Are you sure you can get away?” My inner dialogue was dancing between guilt that I might have five nights away within two weeks, guilt at our abandonment of our ranch and delight at the thought of being away with Russ. I did research that led us to an air bnb in downtown Minot. It was great. It was so cozy and comfortable. What came of that rest? Hard to know at this point. I don’t have a new guiding word in my head, or a new health insight but am I a bit more resilient because of quiet hours on a beautiful deck on a warm summer night sitting beside my honey?

We went to a movie in Minot and took the chance to pose a bit goofy with posters there.

Resting….I am blogging, Russ behind on the couch reading….just can see a head and foot.

Russ is very clear about something. He believes that rest time experienced together is good for our marriage. He thinks of these stolen hours and sometimes days as sequels to the honeymoon. About this I know I am very lucky. I also know that our marriage didn’t feel like this when Russ worked all day every day while I raised little kids. The easing up of childcare duties, time to refresh that we have been claiming over the last five years and a commitment to really try and see each other has breathed life into the bond between us.

In 2017 our friends invited us to go to Vegas with them. Our first trip without the kids. It felt like a cold drink of water and we awoke to the value of this kind of time.

The rest we claim would not feel nearly as wonderful if it was not the counter balance to lots of work, shaping most of our days. There has to be a balance. That’s the thing we are learning, and sometimes allowed to glimpse clear evidence of….there has to be a balance. A balance between work and play, between effort and rest, between push and retreat.