Minot – As Far As The Eye Can See

I must really love my husband. I am at David’s house with Russ and Morgan, we came to join David watching the NFR Rodeo finals on TV. I really hate watching rodeo, the potential for disasters seems to be happening all the time. At least that is how it seems to my tender self. I am here because Russ invited me and I figured I could bring my laptop, be near my fellas and David, and ignore the stressful stuff on the big screen. The situation strikes me kind’ve funny actually. I brought some ministry books and I have been reading and getting my head around a couple special services coming up, including our Blue Christmas service. I’m not working as a minister officially but I do fill in for special services when the ranch schedule allows. So here I am pondering caring liturgies while off to my side the Powell’s projector makes it seem there is a life size rodeo going on. The National Finals Rodeo is in downtown Carnduff!

Now its time to blog a little bit.

The week has gone by very fast. Russ and I ended up deciding to go to Minot for a 48 hour trip. It was such a treat. One of our favorite stops in Minot is Ebenezers Irish Pub & Restaurant. We had some of our favorite food and drinks and felt really lucky to be there and to feel relaxed. We had earned it we thought, after doing so much close up work with our entire herd in the weeks prior.

I discovered “Chelada” on our last visit, its has the same flavor hit as a Caesar but is lower alcohol and way more volume, the experience lasts through the whole meal. This experience of drink and food made me so darn happy.

Russ loves ordering their 32 oz beer. It lasts through our whole visit at Eb’s and feels so plentiful.

It is now a couple days later, not “at the rodeo” anymore……It was easy to decide to go to Minot, the money we spent on our hotel was more than made up for by the exemptions at the border that a 48 hour journey gives us. However, for days and days we have been flying in and out of our house and doing the BARE minimum. The word “tsunami” has been applied to our place this week. I really could have used and should have used the days away working in our house. I shouldn’t even be writing right now. I should be house and Christmas prepping. But sometimes you just have to give yourself some room for expression and making memories.

Are you noticing that Russ and I are wearing matching shirts in our Eb’s pictures? Russ loves that. I am well aware how weird it is but it honestly makes Russell so happy. Teams wear uniforms and I guess you could say, that is our deal. We had matching tops for each of our days away.

Russ found an old friend at Marketplace Foods where we also scored some Bugles!

I am amused by how things get crazy kind’ve quickly sometimes. Here is what happened Friday night during supper. This video is Morgan and Coffee Dog’s version of “Jaws,” click on the arrow in the centre to start the video if you have a minute and 30 seconds. Volume is neccesary for full effect for sure.

If you follow the blog you will know how much I go on about “being seen” at times, you will know the blog address (iseeyouyouseeme.ca) has meaning to me. This week a few things have come my way that say “I see you”, each in their own way. There is humor and wisdom in them.

This screenshot captures a picture and quick message I received. I love it. It tells me that someone is thinking about me. It tells me that this person is not afraid to tease me. I love being teased. I see it as a sign of acceptance and that life is not deadly serious, we can play. This really did have me grinning ear to ear, I might have looked silly, I was alone at the time. Feeling seen does this to a person!

One of my people sent me home with this. In the days prior she had heard me say that I love peanut butter marshmallow cake but I haven’t had it in ages because it was one of my mother in laws specialties and she is not here to make it anymore. This is the kind of gift that feels just perfect, it definitely gave me the message, “I see you”, but furthermore, “I want to give you a bit of comfort.” Very very lovely.

This jar of Haskap Jam was waiting for me in town this morning. I don’t even remember the conversation some time ago that led to me getting this. But someone else did. We must have been discussing my love of peanut butter and jam on toast. It worked out perfectly that I could come straight home and make myself this decadent feeling brunch. I think another piece of helping someone to feel seen is when you remember what they tell you, especially when its about what they love. Oh why do I love peanut butter layered with other numminess so very much? The Haskap jam was a first for me and I really really enjoyed it.

In one of my recent blogs I featured a picture of one of the personalized ornaments I made last year. It was for Gina and it celebrated her accomplishments in stage combat. One of the readers mentioned they would like to see more of our ornaments. In the last week I got the package at the post office that held our ornaments for this year. I feel a little guilty but I think mine is the cutest. So thinking about that reader’s request…..Marj this picture is for you! We order from personalizedornamentsforyou.com and find they do a great job of supplying ornaments that work for our annual highlights of each year. Noone else in the family has seen their ornament for this year so I can’t feature them. Unfortunately I broke Jill’s when I held it up to take a picture of it and it slipped out of my hand, it was a very fragile one. I couldn’t believe what I had done. So…my ornament for 2023.

I am curious what you see when you look around the places where you live. I have two things on my mind alot these days. I am worried about our postal workers. With online shopping the volumes of bulky parcels that they are dealing with every day seems overwhelming. Amid it all, our local staff are staying kind and patient and I admire them so much. I feel like I could easily become aggressive if I was to be in there and find anyone treating them with anything but respect. But who am I kidding, I would probably just come home and blog about it versus finding the strength to stand up for my postal heroes. I suspect all customer service jobs are trickier in this season, there are so many people burning the candle at both ends in our world, healthcare workers for sure, for always, and right now, these warrior women in the post office. I need to tuck them all into my prayers in a more vivid way.

We also have a terrific team working on something in our community called “Santa Cause.” Their mandate is to create a Christmas gift experience for children whose families are challenged to do so. In what feels like one of the most trickiest seasons, emotionally, time-wise and more, they are finding the time to think through and make happen the collection, preparation and distribution of these gifts. I can’t deal with what is in front of me let alone take on other families. To me these women and the community generosity behind them is one of the most important “I see you” messages out there. It says to burdened adults and hopeful children, you are seen and you matter. The leaders and the generous community members giving to the cause are living one of the essential truths of the Christmas message. That God became one of us, and the whole way it unfolded affirmed that we are all of great value, our needs matter and we each have a place in the story. That last sentence basically sums up why I am a minister. Before this turns into a sermon, which it could….I will sign off. By the time I write again Christmas will have passed. I wish all you beautiful supporters a Christmas experience that really touches your soul and fills your cup and gives you something to grin from ear to ear about. God bless you.

Okay, not done. I read it to Russ and he said this very cute picture of Buster really needs to be included. They “held hands” for a long time.

Russ also objected to the fact that the cows we love are barely even mentioned. So, one little ditty, late on Sunday afternoon we ran 9 calves through the chute. We had been at a concert where absolutely beautiful sounds were made, and we got to see our friend Lori doing what she loves to do. Lori and her family had us in a tender heart space.

This is Lori at the piano, she also sang powerfully for us.

We came home to those calves. They had been in the barn recuperating from sickness when the rest of the herd was treated last week. It was hilarious how daunting it was to face going out to do 9 animals. We were slow, we couldn’t care less about taking a picture, we were on the verge of cranky and we made mistakes. I think we definitely need a rest! However we can now say that all the Bar MW cows have had Ivomec!

One last thing….really…..A picture of cows to make Russ happy and because I love it. Do you see what I see? Tenley and Jordanna are on either side of the picture and they are having a conversation across a herd of cows. Liz Griffin’s picture captured something so beautiful and also typical of these two. A good friend can see you and hear you, even across distances.

Now….Merry Christmas and God Bless!

Almost a month ago my friend Deb and I took off for a few nights away together. We had a really good time. I mostly holed up in my room and worked on the book I am creating with Liz Griffin. Deb was a free spirit, on the loose in Minot, North Dakota, enjoying museums and shopping. We swam every evening and ate ice cream every day. Our time was full of delights.

As our days unfolded I found myself thinking about how playful my friend is. We have been friends for 46 years, somehow over those 46 years I had not put all the pieces together, or allowed myself to see, that my friend Deb has allowed her sense of play to touch her daily life in a multitude of ways.

After I got back home I settled back into normal life and while I did I thought about what I had really noticed about Deb. I pondered its source for her. I smiled at my memories. I decided that I wanted to do a tribute to her and her playfulness on Facebook. I got about half done writing it on my phone when it rang. After answering the call and returning to Facebook, I found the post I was working on had disappeared. Being completed emotionally challenged by the experience of frustration I gave up. Would I have more time another day? Maybe. I didn’t get to it but after a while I decided that a longer look at playfulness maybe could safely be attempted on the blog. I got started. I looked up a definition of playfulness and found these words in a Psychology Today article.

Playfulness is, in part, an openness to being a fool, which is a combination of not worrying about competence, not being self-important, not taking norms as sacred and finding ambiguity and double edges a source of wisdom and delight. So, positively, the playful attitude involves openness to surprise, openness to being a fool, openness to self-construction or reconstruction and to construction or reconstruction of the ‘worlds’ we inhabit playfully.

Bernard L. De Koven in Psychology Today

I have a picture, somewhere, of my friend Deb standing at my parents front door, dressed in her halloween costume. She was about 12 years old. She was dressed in a white clown suit with big colorful pom poms as the buttons and clown makeup, at least that is how I remember that picture. I have seen her in other clown pictures many times over the years. She has embraced what the above definition starts with, “playfulness…an openess to being a fool.” Deb has adopted an alter ego, a clown named Minerva whom she embodies occasionally at the long term care home where she is on the leadership team. Deb’s position, to the outside eye, is among those of highest status in the place, if you care about status. Deb has other things on her mind. She is absolutely passionate about creating quality of life for the elders in her midst at Sherbrooke Community Centre. One of her strategies is to spread joy, Minerva is a part of that. I was stunned to see this picture on Deb’s facebook when I was snooping there for clown pictures, Minerva even has her own nametag!! Her workplace takes her very seriously!

As our girls trip drew closer I was amused by Deb’s posts on Facebook. She had a countdown timer on her phone and enjoyed posting screenshots and her joy that our girls trip was at days and then hours away after being weeks and months from us at the start. I thought, “Deb, the way you are hyping this people are going to think we are going to Hawaii, we are only going to Minot!” Perhaps Deb appears a fool to be so thrilled by a place where we have been for daytrips so many times over the years. (Our ranch is only 90 miles from Minot.) She didn’t care, she was excited and she was telling the world and I am inspired by that.

While we were gone she delighted me with her joy. I was so friggin weary after an intense calving season. I really was mostly hunkered down and diving deep into my own world, I was happy but quiet and serious. In contrast to that Deb’s adventures had her returning to our place with a jubilant presence. Our place was a lovely 2 bedroom – 2 bathroom hotel room at Staybridge Suites. Many times Deb burst through the door, prompting me to amble out of my room, with much joy Deb shared her shopping finds and her pictures. I couldn’t help but be caught up in the joy of discovery. It was a testament to Deb’s depth and the wisdom she holds that as much as she played the fool she could switch gears in an instant and listen thoughtfully as I read her what I was writing. Her encouragement was very helpful to me. Her willingness to be moved by everything she encountered on this trip brought a whole level of positivity to our time that was already set to be pretty great.

I am analytical by nature. I know alot about Deb’s story. Both these things mean that the “why” question comes pretty quickly to me. Why is the picture below and the playfulness that sources it so completely natural to Deb?

She has just emerged from a global pandemic as a senior leader in a long term care home. She has just guided her youngest child through her grade 12 year. She has been supporting her husband through a career change in recent months. She is a woman in middle age. All these circumstances could make a person hard to be with. In addition she didn’t start out life from a pampered existence. As long as I have known her she has been shaped by the need to work hard, on herself and among her people. And from all that, she lands on my doorstep with a smile on her face, generosity and joy in her heart, love for my whole family and a thirst for adventure in her soul. I have a few theories about the why of this. I think in part its her wiring. She has an amazing brain extremely well suited to the place she works and its guiding norms. She is creative and flexible in her nature. However she has made choices. She kept a gratitude log on facebook a number of years back that spanned hundreds of days. Recently she has been logging her joy. Deb has practiced noticing and finding joy in everyday things, she has learned the power of gratitude. From the outside looking in it seems that every post has been like a seed that is blooming joy in her. She has also embraced meditation as a way to care for her inner life. Surely there are other things at play too. Deb has a very playful spouse and pets, this is something I relate to and I know makes a difference. Mostly though, I think Deb has made a choice, and there is joy blooming in her life, with a beautiful fragrance of playfulness because of her choices.

There is alot more that could be said. That definition above was lengthy and connected with more that I think about. Perhaps this is enough. I want to close with this picture that makes me smile. It was taken back at the ranch on our last night of our time together. It catches Deb’s animated expressions. It also catches the charcuterie board we were feasting on. We did charcuterie every night for supper on our trip. It seems to be our comfort zone. When we were girls we would haul the black and white 10″ TV to my bedroom or to the loft in our garage. We would get a plate of cheese, crackers and pickles organized and we would watch our show, “Dallas”. It feels like a blessing to have the chance to have a friend to share this much of life with and for that friend to be a source of joy amid everything.

There is a P.S. to this post. I sent Deb a copy of what I had written, looking for her permission to use the pictures and share the writing. She gave me the O.K. and sent two pictures. One is the halloween photo I mentioned earlier, I think she was actually older than 12. I see I remembered the details of the suit wrongly. She looks great though! She also sent the countdown timer to our next get away. She is well aware of the power of gratitude and embracing joy, it also turns out she grasps the power of anticipation really well!

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Do You See What I See?

Playfulness