This past week Russ and I had an opportunity. We went to Elkhorn Resort in Manitoba so that Russell could participate in a learning event hosted by a group called “Farmers for Climate Solutions.” He was one of 36 people from the prairie provinces included. This was the first of three sessions through the winter, by the end the goal is to have working strategies ready to put forward to address climate concerns, it will come from the lived perspective of agricultural producers from many sectors. The 36 volunteer delegates were selected randomly from the prairie provinces after they put their names into a draw.
I went to get the time away with Russ and I used the hours Russ was in sessions to work on my book. We had quick visits and short walks on his breaks.
The experience was mixed for us. Russ endured listening to some people who appeared to be there to speak more than to listen. They really pushed his buttons. The hospitality experience offered by the resort was weird in several ways for me. No need to elaborate on that here. On the other hand Russ really really appreciated the organizers and presenters, who they were as people and how skilled they were at organizing and presenting. The very tricky conversations about climate, government, science and the realities of agriculture were handled with skill.
As a spouse I was invited to join in for meals and I looked forward to that. Things we took in at those mealtimes, at the pub after the evening sessions and what percolated in Russell’s mind after the meetings meant that interesting conversation was the theme of the week.
The first one I want to tell you about happened when we were at the pub on the second evening. One of the presenters joined us at our table. He is a really dynamic person with a wealth of experience. As the conversation unfolded a man at our table was attempting to understand something better and asking questions in a really vivid way, but the understanding just wasn’t flowing between the two of them, Russ and I sat and took it in, like we were watching someone miss a bus, but try valiantly to run it down. They got to some understanding when they agreed that people with money and power often do not think in terms of the common good. At this point I was feeling a little bummed. We were sitting with someone who had earned the Order of Canada. The way it was going it seemed we were going to sit and stare at a pot of brewing negativity when I had a hunch that a big window with a large and soul satisfying vista was there to look through instead. So when they found that common ground about money, power and the common good I did something that I find really hard to do. I jutted into the conversation and with a question tried to open up the blind that would lead to that big window with the lovely view. I asked, “have you met people that have money and power and care about the common good of all?” A split second of hesitation was followed by a big smile and this reply, “Yes! My mentor, hes 90 years old now and still a going concern.” He proceeded to speak of the volunteer work this man is still doing and the cause he works for and the hundreds of thousands of dollars he is able to raise through his leadership. I honestly can’t remember the cause. The method for the fundraising is to hold a gala to recognize people who were nominated and selected for making a difference in the world and are more than seventy years old. He told us about the seven people honored at the most recent gala. He did alot of talking, which can be hard sometimes, but it was so positive, interesting and inspiring it left me feeling really glad that I had asked and happy to just listen. I had a follow-up question that arose from my curiousity. I asked him, “what would you say motivates these people to keep going hard when its more common to pull back and say ‘I’ve done my part for this world.'” He figured it was the thrill of the chase and the chance to have fun. As I understand his answer it says to me that the thrill of making an impact/making a difference is a big deal and the chance to be doing something where joy/fun/mischief/perspective/light heartedness/forgiveness is present is a huge deal. I left that conversation with much to think about.
Russ and I had lots of conversations about what was being said at the meetings. I was thankful to not be the one in the midst of hours of sessions, but instead to be the receiver of stories and thoughts as Russ debriefed. There are encouraging and smart developments happening in the way of farming practices and resources that Russ started to get a handle on through the sessions. He really enjoyed telling me about them. It was interesting to hear what he had to share. He also told me about weird developments in the meeting like a lady who threatened to leave because someone swore and she is a born again Christian. We both felt alarmed at her willingness to impose her cultural norms on a group with no accountability to her religion. It troubles me that people can’t see that their private beliefs are not the norms of every place they visit, just because they are there. That is just ridiculous. Russ and I are Christians, our faith in God and in ourselves tells us that neither God or us are harmed by swearing, I mean, lets be real, those swear words could have come from our mouths. The bigger issue is the question of what anger and frustration do to harm community life and individuals when not handled well. Perhaps the person who tried to make their point and ended up using a swear word was actually dealing with alot of anger and frustration, while swearing was not ideal, no-one was hurt. The true Christian response may be to have some compassion for someone struggling so hard with their feelings that they lost composure in front of the whole group, instead of that woman making it all about her.
I was working at a computer desk in the hotel, near to another spouse attending when she got a call from her husband that the meetings had wrapped up early. I packed up my laptop and headed down to the meeting room. When I got there I found Russ wasn’t ready to leave. He was in the midst of some good-bye conversations. I sat in his chair and waited for him. It moved me to see him deeply enjoying a few words with one of the presenters. Russ had appreciated him so much. I already knew that the session this man led was incredible, that Russ thought he was one of the smartest men he had ever met but also he had the most amazing ability to make his knowledge into something that his listeners could understand. He is a soil scientist and professor at the University of Manitoba, his name is Mario, but behind his back Russell called him “Super Mario.” To see Russ getting to earnestly engage Mario in some talk made me really happy. I acted creepy and got my camera out to snap a picture of this moment.
When I started this blog on Sunday afternoon I thought those were the three main conversations I wanted to highlight. Mostly in an effort to say, isn’t life interesting? Isn’t being with people challenging? Isn’t it cool to be with people who know stuff and share it in a way that makes you feel ok about being a learner. That was how it started but now its Tuesday afternoon and I have something else to add.
Its winter and that means that our schedule is easier. We have definitely changed gears. In October I was pulling together meals for 30+ people, in January its a big deal to properly answer text messages. Although I feel very low functioning I want to take advantage of the structure and relative ease of January to live a life like I used to. We used to have Sunday suppers back in my Saskatoon days. We always had guests at our table and Mom made beautiful desserts to share. So I said to Russ, “lets have friends over for supper on Sunday.” It shouldn’t feel like a radical thing to host people for a meal but somehow it seemed major to do that for no particular reason. We invited Jackie and Ron and their kids. They were available! They came and we had a lot of fun.
I never did make the memorable dessert I wanted to. We ate leftover Christmas candy and chocolates as our after dinner sweet. There was an awesome moment that I am sharing here because I want to remember the gift that it was. I can’t remember how it got rolling but in a matter of about 30 seconds Ron masterfully accomplished three diverse things, without even trying, or so it seemed. He gave me a really meaningful compliment, he had all of us rolling with laughter and he gave me two really important self care messages. All of this from a guy that usually carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was an incredible moment and the bottom line is it was just so fun. So in addition to the isn’t it cool, isn’t it challenging, isn’t it interesting to interact with people observations I made above, I want to add, isn’t it fun and isn’t it surprising how things go?
Isn’t it worth it? Isn’t it worth it to stop hibernating for a time and let ourselves be impacted by human connection. For sure it costs….costs energy, a bit of food, sometimes our inner peace, but most times I think we receive more than we give. So its worth it. Conversing, human to human, really helps to make life fun. I hope the thrill of chasing good conversation and the fun of experiencing people free to be themselves keeps us opening our door and stretching out our table and going to new places as long as we possibly can, well into our old age I hope. Is it too much to suggest that life itself is a thrilling chase?
As Far As The Eye Can See 