This week I was made aware of the word “gruntled”, the opposite of “disgruntled,” and much more positive! That word describes how I feel as I sit at my computer and consider the week we have known.
On Tuesday Russ and I headed to Regina to see Jill in the musical she was in. The days held some moments of real delight, moments that really encouraged me to feel gruntled.
We attended the show with my Aunt Danna and Uncle Vic. We caught up with Jill in the foyer at intermission. Jill’s role in the show was a parent of school children, that role extended to the foyer time where she was responsible to keep track of her stage kids as they all mingled with the crowd. This is Aunt Danna, Jill and one of her children.This is a picture Jill shared with us that was taken by the Conexus Arts Centre photographer. It gives a sense of the staging. This was so well done.A memorable scene from the show (which was “Matilda”) . This is the headmistress Ms. Trunchbull being her mean self. When Jill sent the picture she said, “I love the expressions!” (Another Conexus picture.)Here is Jill with her stage son and stage daughter and our friend Gabrielle who was also in the show. She and her Mom hosted us in Regina, offering us such warm and generous hospitality. It was a lovely part of our Christmas week.
The time with Aunt Danna and Uncle Vic turned out to be the start of a trend. The next day Russ and I visited with another uncle and aunt. A couple days later I had a message on my phone, from an uncle in Toronto, it included the words “I love you Kath”. I spent the last few days in close contact with Shirley. I am wired in such a way that these moments with my elders and the messages they give me fill my cup. I knew as we pulled away from our Regina visits that a big part of my Christmas was already made.
Enroute home from Regina we detoured to Bengough area where we ended up buying a new to us horse trailer. The family that sold it was a treat to meet. We need a smaller trailer for times when Morgan is hauling only one or two horses for his activities. He is away from us more and more working for others and doing a bit of rodeo stuff. It was quite sobering to be at Bengough, it was 12 degrees there, no snow in sight and no moisture in sloughs. Another reminder of our current blessings. We stopped for supper in a tiny town called Ogema where we discovered a restaurant that served amazing brisket.
The next evening we were at our church for the Blue Christmas service. I was part of a team that worked on it. I put one of those candles in the long row. We placed and lit candles in honor of loved ones or challenges we have. In my memory my Mama’s light burns bright.Russ has a tradition of gifting each of us a book he wants to share with us. He inscribes each one and does a great job of it.
By this point on Friday we knew that Canada Post had not delivered Gina her box with her stocking and gifts from us. She did not come home for Christmas. She is saving time off for calving season and cow chase, which is awesome when it happens but a pill for all of us to swallow in these days. Her days have been full. She and her room-mate have just moved to a new apartment, one of my favorite memories of her this week is the video she sent that Evelyn took. It was Gina driving a U-Haul moving truck through the streets of Toronto, singing and capable. It had a mood to it that I just loved. I am proud of Gina for her strength and resilience in moving, dealing with no gift box (it has been in Toronto for days but hasn’t made it to her house according to the tracking, now to be delivered tomorrow) and being away from all the family Christmas time hubbub. She has dealt with it honestly, both tears and a chin up. What a girl.
Later on Friday Morgan returned from shopping in Estevan. He had a few gifts bought for Jordanna. He and Russ posed, it strikes me that all three characters in this picture have beautiful eyes.
Christmas eve was special. There is a whole story here that might get told another day. An unexpected hi-lite was a long long visit with friends we had not seen in a while. After church we spent some time with our advent candle wreath and opened up our ornaments for this year. Jill was glowing.Russell’s ornament for this year marks the joy he found in inventing a beverage “recipe” and serving it to many friends over the year. It started when Anja was with us and Russ was worried he was working her too hard and she was going to fade away. They would come in for a 2nd breakfast in the morning and Russ would get things rolling by making Anja a hot chocolate. He got fancy with it and it delighted her and others over the year. When I ordered the ornament I knew it was hot chocolate he made, not coffee, I could picture the mountain of whipped cream, caramel and chocolate syrups drizzled over top, but mistakenly I called it Hobbit Coffee and I guess that is how on this ornament it will be memorialized. The word Hobbit is applied to the recipe because in the movie Lord of the Rings the hobbits eat several times a day, with glee. When Russ and Anja came in for a second breakfast (which Russ always cooked), they were living like Hobbits. I am a very sentimental person. I will always remember this part of my Christmas experience. I had lots of help with final preparations but when Russ and Jill finally went to bed, thinking almost everything was done, Grandma Shirley wouldn’t quit me. We had been working on wrapping together for a long while with a pretty good strategy. I got the paper in place and she applied the tape. Our shared effort, her earnest seriousness about her job and her 90 year old fingers just combined to make some holy moments. A humorous moment topped it all off, we will likely fold into family lore as the years go by. At 1:24am we were done. Shirley went to the kitchen. She popped back to the table and said, “is the time on the stove right?” I said, “I’m not sure Shirley.” I checked my watch, “its 1:24 Shirley, what does the stove say?” She replied, “it says 5:20, and I was thinking, if its 5:20am we don’t even need to bother going to bed!” I love that zest. She is legendary!Knightwing came inside for the start of the morning and made sure she was the first to get a greeting from Grandma Shirley when she arose (this was 7:25am). At our place whoever has the job of handing out gifts from the tree has to put the hat on, we take turns being “Santa.” I started it off and Russ made me pose. I am pretty thrilled by the new Christmas Onesie I am wearing. A result of discovering, thanks to my sister Margie, that Old Navy sells many clothes for tall women.Russ wanted Morg to have these goggles for the times when we cowboy in blizzards, they were part of his Christmas morning plunder. I can’t find the words to talk about this picture though. As the sun rose it revealed a beautiful still morning and hoar frost on the trees. It was a white Christmas for us, in more than one way.We had a nice visit with Jordanna’s family mid afternoon on this gorgeous Christmas day.
We have had new traditions develop in recent years, they include gathering with friends and family for a planned potluck Christmas supper. The guest list changes every year depending on who is available. We had a really fun supper last night.
Our friend Mark is in this picture with Grandma Shirley. Mark and Russ have been friends with Shirley’s family since their school days.Valeriy and Olga.Sharon and Bill.Morgan and JordannaLinda, Tammy and JillBuster, Russ and I.
While sitting in my spot I got a text from Jill who was further down the table. It is seen here below.
I love this text. It says to me, “I see you Mom.” She knows how my brain works. Here is what Jill witnessed.Sharon was extremely popular when clean-up started. In the coming week Russ and I will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary. The way time flies just wows me.
A little housekeeping….I checked with my people here and the guests in the pictures and they say the words and pictures shared of them are okay.
And in conclusion, I am tired but I feel more whole than I did a week ago, I am definitely gruntled. These days are full and hard and wonderful and trying and very capable of stirring so many feelings. I hope in these days after Christmas the pace of things allows the gruntled moments to shine bright for you.
A few weeks ago I was blogging live from the Bar MW working chute. Today the location is distinctly different. I am coming to you from the St. David dorm room in the guest house at Sisterhood of St. John the Divine in Toronto. I am in an Anglican convent. Rain is falling quite heavily and its kind’ve a great atmosphere. Russell is enjoying milking my location for all its worth, he has been telling me that when chatting with friends he enjoys saying things like, “you think you’ve got it bad, my wife left me and went to a convent!” Its true. But I only left for a bit.
I didn’t feel right about taking many pictures while I was at the convent. I found this one on the website. These are the women I spent my days near.
Here is how this came about….back in January my sister and I were talking. She shared with me something she had recently been invited to do and that was to set goals for the new year, as opposed to resolutions. It made sense to me. The process included writing the goals on index cards and reviewing them regularly. I made goals. I wanted to read a fiction book every month and a non-fiction every three months. I wanted to ride my exercise bike with some pattern. I wanted to do some extended fasting. I wanted to work a variety of spiritual care practices into my living. I set all these things up in measurable ways. But a really important goal was that I wanted to connect with my elders more. They mean so much to me but you would never know it by how I live my life most of the time. So my goals included, “visit Uncle Ted.” In March as I reviewed the goals I realized I had to get my head around how this was going to happen. A rancher in Saskatchewan doesn’t just schedule a visit with a man in Toronto without a little planning. The pieces fell into place pretty quickly, very quickly when I realized I could get a Westjet flight to Toronto for $79 due to a sale I stumbled upon. As I thought through the options for how this could look I connected with a memory of a previous time. When I lived in Saskatoon I booked myself into a retreat house there, a place where I could go to be apart from the rigors of daily life, experience silence, be fed both spiritually and physically, talk to a spiritual director and perhaps come away renewed. I loved those days. I have tried to recreate them with varying levels of success. When I stumbled on this memory it feels like my brain literally went “ding.” I thought I could probably merge visiting family and friends with retreat life and I went on the internet. What existed in Toronto? I found the convent I am currently sitting in. For a very reasonable fee I have a very comfortable room, 3 beautiful meals a day and invitation to join the sisters in their times in the chapel. Silence is the norm in most of the public spaces, it is healing and thought provoking.
There is lots more that could be said about some of these pieces, I hope to write about some of them later.
(Fast-forward a little bit….)
I am currently starting my last full day here at the convent. It was a good decision to come here. I fly home tomorrow. In about an hour I am setting off to get to the Finch Subway station, I am going to ride south to Bloor and Yonge, transfer trains and find my way to the Kipling station, if it goes smoothly its about an hour on the trains. I will bring my book. Not far from Kipling station I will meet my Uncle for lunch. I saw him on the day I arrived but due to the distances involved, my need for rest and my desire to see other family and friends I have here, I wasn’t expecting to see Uncle Ted again. It sounds odd to plan a trip to see a person and then only see them once. The thing is, and its weird maybe, I just needed to see him, for my heart it didn’t matter for how long or how much. But since that first day I have become confident enough on the subway system and I feel rested and my cousin gave me the inside scoop on Uncle Ted’s favorite restaurant, so I called him up and we made a date.
(Fast-forward again…….)
A selfie at the Dundas Street Grille.
I am finishing this blog now, sitting in the departure lounge at the airport…. and now my spot on the plane. I read over what I wrote yesterday with its extreme amount of detail, why should you care what trains I had to take? I think that is my way of being seen for something that is kindv’e important to me. I might live on a ranch, with my hometown not even in possession of a traffic light, but I can still find my city girl groove and I am deeply thrilled that it allowed heart to heart connection with one of my people. I am super lucky to have all the pieces in place that make trips like this happen. The backbone of it is a spouse who figures he can run the ranch without me for a bit and drops me at the airport with his blessing.
The automobile action….a trip to the airport towing our trusty Hyundai on a trailer. Russell was an absolute Rockstar getting this trailer backed into and then out of the Hyundai service lot. Thanks to the Powells for lending us their trailer. Perhaps a sign that I needed some rest…I cut my lip with a bag of canned food the day before. It was pretty klutzy.Inside the Toronto airport.I walked through heavy rain to get to the Subway station.Arriving into Regina. Russ gave me a warm welcome home, including a meal at the Lancaster Taphouse. It was here we made a great connection with our server. Just one of those times when everything clicks and you have a rich conversation. It was totally fun to have a reunion a few days later when we spotted her in the midst of the pride parade. (Picture below).Russell made good use of his trip back to the airport. He dropped off some cow calf pairs at our Manor pasture. That got him about 40 miles closer to Regina. He then unhooked the livestock trailer and headed to get me. Our trip home included picking up the trailer and checking the herd. It was great to see the calves looking good and enjoying their summer residence.The last bit of action of my time away had me on my own two feet again in a setting drastically different from the umbrella picture. This calved out heifer named “Stir” had somehow got outside the fence. Russ went ahead to open the gate and see it got turned in, I walked it back and together we got her reunited with her calf in the pasture.
I have not yet had the chance to look over my goals for ’22 index cards. When I do, it will be with a warm feeling in my heart that I write “accomplished – June 3 and 7/22.” Have I mentioned I feel lucky?
As Far As The Eye Can See 