christmas – As Far As The Eye Can See

Gruntled at Christmas

This week I was made aware of the word “gruntled”, the opposite of “disgruntled,” and much more positive! That word describes how I feel as I sit at my computer and consider the week we have known.

On Tuesday Russ and I headed to Regina to see Jill in the musical she was in. The days held some moments of real delight, moments that really encouraged me to feel gruntled.

We attended the show with my Aunt Danna and Uncle Vic. We caught up with Jill in the foyer at intermission. Jill’s role in the show was a parent of school children, that role extended to the foyer time where she was responsible to keep track of her stage kids as they all mingled with the crowd. This is Aunt Danna, Jill and one of her children.

This is a picture Jill shared with us that was taken by the Conexus Arts Centre photographer. It gives a sense of the staging. This was so well done.

A memorable scene from the show (which was “Matilda”) . This is the headmistress Ms. Trunchbull being her mean self. When Jill sent the picture she said, “I love the expressions!” (Another Conexus picture.)

Here is Jill with her stage son and stage daughter and our friend Gabrielle who was also in the show. She and her Mom hosted us in Regina, offering us such warm and generous hospitality. It was a lovely part of our Christmas week.

The time with Aunt Danna and Uncle Vic turned out to be the start of a trend. The next day Russ and I visited with another uncle and aunt. A couple days later I had a message on my phone, from an uncle in Toronto, it included the words “I love you Kath”. I spent the last few days in close contact with Shirley. I am wired in such a way that these moments with my elders and the messages they give me fill my cup. I knew as we pulled away from our Regina visits that a big part of my Christmas was already made.

Enroute home from Regina we detoured to Bengough area where we ended up buying a new to us horse trailer. The family that sold it was a treat to meet. We need a smaller trailer for times when Morgan is hauling only one or two horses for his activities. He is away from us more and more working for others and doing a bit of rodeo stuff. It was quite sobering to be at Bengough, it was 12 degrees there, no snow in sight and no moisture in sloughs. Another reminder of our current blessings. We stopped for supper in a tiny town called Ogema where we discovered a restaurant that served amazing brisket.

The next evening we were at our church for the Blue Christmas service. I was part of a team that worked on it. I put one of those candles in the long row. We placed and lit candles in honor of loved ones or challenges we have. In my memory my Mama’s light burns bright.

Russ has a tradition of gifting each of us a book he wants to share with us. He inscribes each one and does a great job of it.

By this point on Friday we knew that Canada Post had not delivered Gina her box with her stocking and gifts from us. She did not come home for Christmas. She is saving time off for calving season and cow chase, which is awesome when it happens but a pill for all of us to swallow in these days. Her days have been full. She and her room-mate have just moved to a new apartment, one of my favorite memories of her this week is the video she sent that Evelyn took. It was Gina driving a U-Haul moving truck through the streets of Toronto, singing and capable. It had a mood to it that I just loved. I am proud of Gina for her strength and resilience in moving, dealing with no gift box (it has been in Toronto for days but hasn’t made it to her house according to the tracking, now to be delivered tomorrow) and being away from all the family Christmas time hubbub. She has dealt with it honestly, both tears and a chin up. What a girl.

Later on Friday Morgan returned from shopping in Estevan. He had a few gifts bought for Jordanna. He and Russ posed, it strikes me that all three characters in this picture have beautiful eyes.

Christmas eve was special. There is a whole story here that might get told another day. An unexpected hi-lite was a long long visit with friends we had not seen in a while.

After church we spent some time with our advent candle wreath and opened up our ornaments for this year. Jill was glowing.

Russell’s ornament for this year marks the joy he found in inventing a beverage “recipe” and serving it to many friends over the year. It started when Anja was with us and Russ was worried he was working her too hard and she was going to fade away. They would come in for a 2nd breakfast in the morning and Russ would get things rolling by making Anja a hot chocolate. He got fancy with it and it delighted her and others over the year. When I ordered the ornament I knew it was hot chocolate he made, not coffee, I could picture the mountain of whipped cream, caramel and chocolate syrups drizzled over top, but mistakenly I called it Hobbit Coffee and I guess that is how on this ornament it will be memorialized. The word Hobbit is applied to the recipe because in the movie Lord of the Rings the hobbits eat several times a day, with glee. When Russ and Anja came in for a second breakfast (which Russ always cooked), they were living like Hobbits.

I am a very sentimental person. I will always remember this part of my Christmas experience. I had lots of help with final preparations but when Russ and Jill finally went to bed, thinking almost everything was done, Grandma Shirley wouldn’t quit me. We had been working on wrapping together for a long while with a pretty good strategy. I got the paper in place and she applied the tape. Our shared effort, her earnest seriousness about her job and her 90 year old fingers just combined to make some holy moments. A humorous moment topped it all off, we will likely fold into family lore as the years go by. At 1:24am we were done. Shirley went to the kitchen. She popped back to the table and said, “is the time on the stove right?” I said, “I’m not sure Shirley.” I checked my watch, “its 1:24 Shirley, what does the stove say?” She replied, “it says 5:20, and I was thinking, if its 5:20am we don’t even need to bother going to bed!” I love that zest. She is legendary!

Knightwing came inside for the start of the morning and made sure she was the first to get a greeting from Grandma Shirley when she arose (this was 7:25am).

At our place whoever has the job of handing out gifts from the tree has to put the hat on, we take turns being “Santa.” I started it off and Russ made me pose. I am pretty thrilled by the new Christmas Onesie I am wearing. A result of discovering, thanks to my sister Margie, that Old Navy sells many clothes for tall women.

Russ wanted Morg to have these goggles for the times when we cowboy in blizzards, they were part of his Christmas morning plunder. I can’t find the words to talk about this picture though.

As the sun rose it revealed a beautiful still morning and hoar frost on the trees. It was a white Christmas for us, in more than one way.

We had a nice visit with Jordanna’s family mid afternoon on this gorgeous Christmas day.

We have had new traditions develop in recent years, they include gathering with friends and family for a planned potluck Christmas supper. The guest list changes every year depending on who is available. We had a really fun supper last night.

Our friend Mark is in this picture with Grandma Shirley. Mark and Russ have been friends with Shirley’s family since their school days.

While sitting in my spot I got a text from Jill who was further down the table. It is seen here below.

I love this text. It says to me, “I see you Mom.” She knows how my brain works.

Sharon was extremely popular when clean-up started.

In the coming week Russ and I will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary. The way time flies just wows me.

A little housekeeping….I checked with my people here and the guests in the pictures and they say the words and pictures shared of them are okay.

And in conclusion, I am tired but I feel more whole than I did a week ago, I am definitely gruntled. These days are full and hard and wonderful and trying and very capable of stirring so many feelings. I hope in these days after Christmas the pace of things allows the gruntled moments to shine bright for you.

A Rebuttal to Stress

This post is mostly just fun stuff, parts of the last few days that have nothing to do with the regular stress of life. The weather and schedule have allowed these moments.

Morgan and Russ spent much of Saturday on their horses working at the back at the Chopper K Auction Mart. Our friends were selling much of their herd there. Russ and Morg ushered cows, bulls and calves to the pens after they were done in the auction ring. It was a beautiful day and they had lots of hours side by side.

Grandma Shirley came over Sunday afternoon to help us decorate for Christmas. Knightwing loves her, and seemed to sense her presence in the car, she never came near my door but went straight to Shirley’s side.

After the initial greeting Knightwing stopped all movement to the door when she flopped herself down in front of Shirley and posed herself for a belly rub. Grandma Shirley obliged her.

It has become our tradition to enjoy favorite snacks while we decorate the tree. The last couple of years we have started with a charcuterie board of our treats and a sit down feast time.

Russ and Bingo had the job of encouraging the tree decorators. I wonder what they were saying to each other in this moment.

When these arm-less glasses came out of the decor box Russ got busy making a photoshoot happen. This is the smile that can light up an arena, yep, thats Jordanna.

Jill arrived home late Saturday, she made Christmas decorating a priority in her schedule.

I took this picture for Gina before I hung her ornament from last year on the tree. FDC stands for “Fight Directors of Canada”, she got her intermediate certification last year, her ornament marked that achievement. We are missing her.

Today Russ had ambitions to get as many bales hauled as possible but ran into a flat tire and realized he really needed to get all new tires to make his work as safe as possible. He was very fortunate when the tire shop closest to the field had the tires he needed. He was travelling with Kngihtwing and Bingo at this point. They managed life on the hoist very well.

Today my phone rang about 3:30, it was Morgan, “hey Mom, whatcha doing?” I was working on my laptop and drinking a mocha. My presence was being requested to pull the “heel-a-matic”, a roping dummy on wheels that Morg can use for roping practice. Honestly, I didn’t want to. I had been working on the house all day and I had just settled in at my computer. But……in an effort to be a good Mom I bargained for time to finish my mocha and then headed out. Of course, it was fun and I was glad to be there. Its usually like that with kids. Here is the view in my rear view mirror.

This is a glimpse of the heel-a-matic pal I pulled.

It gave me a feeling of deep contentment, a glimpse of the old normal, to be working on supper and have Morgan at the counter doing homework and Jill working on a project. I had to grab a picture.

While at the counter Jill had a look at the last blog I published. She said it was good but it was missing this picture. This was a screenshot of the Whatsapp call that linked Regina, Carnduff, Alameda and Halifax while our calves were selling on Thursday. This call was a first, but we are lucky to have these folks that care alot about us and how things are going.

Last night I got a message from my friend Lindsay. She had time today to come and be with me to tackle the cleaning work. Of course I said yes. So, the really great reality as this day unwinds is that our home has received lots of TLC and the walls have heard some good conversation.

The days ahead are really busy and hold some pressure as we get the last of the big fall jobs done on the ranch and I lead a funeral. It is very good to have these lighter moments, special people and images to ponder as we tackle what lies ahead.

When I read this to the family here and asked for their feedback, asked what they would want to see changed, it went like this……

Russ wanted it noted that this was Jordanna’s first time helping us get ready for Christmas and this is a big moment for him (Russ), he not so secretly wants Jordanna to be his daughter in law.

Jill thought the following three pictures should be added.

Jill enjoyed participating in Russ and Morg’s cow moving job at the sale on Saturday via a whatsapp video call from Russ, catching her on her break.

Jill glimpsed the Shirley and Knightwing action from the door and grabbed a picture. This is her perspective on those tender moments.

Today Jill did a few hours with Russ as he moved bales home. They had a fun time together.

Morgan offered this quote in my voice that he wanted included, “Morgan didn’t start out as our favorite but he quickly rose to the top, he did this by his postiive can-do attitude and strong work ethic that he demonstrates in his day to day life.”

My reply to that was to turn to Russ and say, “he’s writing his own report card!”

Jill’s rebuttal……Jill remains our favorite, through her postive can-do attitude and her strong work ethic and in addition, her tremendous cool vibes and endless spice and immense talent (followed by her ferral laugh, she is not comfortable tooting her own horn.)

Russ felt it was imperative to include Gina in this conversation. He was lucky to catch her at this late hour in Toronto, she and Jack (her boyfriend) were watching a show. She got straight to the point in rebutting Morgan saying,

“Morgan cannot say he has a positive can-do attitude because he is rude and angry when he has to help people that don’t know how to ride horses.” This very much offends Gina, Morgan’s defense is, “Because wer’e not f-in ‘heartland'”, and, in addition….Gina feels that Jill is the favorite.

So there it is, a simple blog that got a bit crazy.

Jill just said, “if people make it to the end of the blog they deserve a little fun.”

This gift is not for everyone!

When Jill gave me a list of things she would appreciate for Christmas it included a bag of garlic.

I think she was just being zesty, (literally), she didn’t expect such a thing but Jill has a very lively sense of humor, it crept into her list making. The truth is Jill loves garlic and cooks with it whenever she can.

Last Monday I took one of our people into Regina for an appointment. That meant a quick as possible visit to a crazy busy Costco. There I happened upon a bulk bag of garlic for around 5 dollars. That seemed a small price to pay to indulge Jill’s sense of humor. I didn’t think very long before putting it in the cart.

It was a part of Jill’s stocking. On Christmas morning when she pulled off the tissue Russ wrapped it in, there was alot of amusement, some laughter and a good photo to be had.

The bag of garlic sat on the counter as boxing day unfolded, then Jill and I decided to tackle it. It would not become that mushy sprouting kind of garlic if we could help it.

We split the heads up into their individual cloves, and started to peel them. I abandoned Jill partway through to tackle a different job that was pressing on me. Jill stayed the course and created an amazing supply of garlic to be frozen. I asked her, “how long do you think this will last you?” She said, “probably til I am 24!”

I can’t imagine the garlic will last that long, but this is a gift that will keep on giving for at least several months. I am curious how it will fold into family lore. Will I now think of Jill whenever I see those bulk garlic packages? Will we refer back to this gift through the year and in future years? Maybe. Every Christmas seems to have some standout feature. The Kyle family talk about the Christmas the tree fell over during breakfast. We talk about the Christmas we danced on the street to a Barbie cassette tape. We talk about the Christmas I lost my mind from excitement over satin pyjamas. Around home here we talk about last year as the Christmas when Grandma Shirley was here (Covid kept her from her own daughter). We talk about the Christmas it was so warm that Russ took toddler Gina for a pony ride. We are happy to be reminded of the year Morgan got the wisemen from the nativity in a hide and seek match with John Wayne type Playmobil figures. So many memories. Maybe Christmas 2021 will be known more for the garlic than the snow, cold, wind and grief in the midst of a pandemic. Maybe. Maybe this blog will help that transformation. Long live the healing power of garlic!

December 8th – Checking In

Its shortly after 6am, I have been awake since 5:15am, thats the fourth day in a row of that nonsense. Day 1 was so that I could be ready to lead worship and get there on time, day 2 was because I forgot to turn off my alarm from day 1 and I couldn’t go back to sleep, day 3 was because our dog Maddie started barking for no apparent reason, today it was Coffee dog, same time, same thing, random barks starting at 5:15. I went to bed earlier last night to try and compensate for how foggy headed I felt and I am glad because I am ready for a bit of writing this morning instead of desperately trying to get more sleep.

I thought maybe I would write about a few things that have been happening.

On Friday night Russell and I drove to pick up Morgan from a friends’ place. We had never been in their home before but were welcomed in for a drink. They had a couple friends over already. The six of us, and Morgan and his friend and dogs and other kids moving in and out sat in their kitchen and had a really good visit. Do you know what didn’t happen? Cellphone activity. You would never know cell phones existed except for a story that got told about forgetting one and me getting a text I needed to check and answer right at the very end of the visit. It was so cool to experience that. It felt old fashioned and right and good.

I spent my weekend with my head deeply immersed in thoughts and stories I was exposed to as a result of preparations for the sermon on Sunday morning. I listened to a priest on youtube, his name Father Gregory Boyle, he has overseen a very effective gang rehab ministry in Los Angeles from its very beginning. He knows alot of stuff about life. While I tuned in to hear about compassion I have taken away new wisdom about how important it is that we are all connected to each other and about what needs to be in my head as I am doing my lifework. It has been a gift.

Monday morning when the alarm went off at 5:15, I grabbed my phone to turn it off quickly (with some exasperation at myself), and then noticed I had a Messenger bubble notification on my screen. I tried to go back to sleep but wasn’t successful. I checked that notification. Well then for sure I didn’t go back to sleep. Late the night before someone had sent me a video, I presume they thought I needed to watch it, seeing the title stirred feelings of anger and stirred up my brain. It was called, “why are people choosing to live in cages?” I lay there wondering if I should respond to it, I thought to myself “I should watch it” but then thought, “why?” With all of Father Boyle’s wisdom about relationship on my brain I think I was sensitized to what was going on in me as this link landed in my world. What I needed was a message to go along with the link, I needed the person to say, “Hey Kathy, I sense you have some pretty clear convictions about all this Covid stuff. Listen, I saw this video today, it made me think of you. It had a good illustration I wanted you to hear. I would be curious what you think?” If that message had landed with the link then we would be in the land of relationship. I might have then answered back, “Hey, thanks for thinking of me and taking the time to connect about this stuff. I honestly don’t know if I will watch it. I am tired and I don’t have much of a brain for conflict right now. Its Christmas, I got this grief thing going on in a different way than last year, I have lots of projects in front of me. Mostly, the title throws me off, honestly, the reality of a cage just doesn’t connect. I see what is being asked of us Canadians is because something very big is at stake. I was asked the other day, “where did you get your mask? I love it!” My answer, “Newfoundland.” I was in Newfoundland this fall. So, yeah, I am not feeling pulled by this title. I really thank you for thinking of me.”

I think I would attach this picture, just for a visual about why the illustration of a cage has nowhere to land in me.

This is an extremely corny thing I am sharing, but to celebrate our 20th anniversary we had some pictures taken with our wedding clothes on, situated on the most eastern point of the continent. In this picture the only thing ahead of us is Europe, everything and most everyone dear to us is at our backs.

Without any attempt at human connection going with the delivery of this link it was kind of disorienting. I don’t know this person well at all, what does she want of me? She started this, let her create a little context for me, I have enough miscellaneous stuff floating around for my brain to manage. So that is something I have been working on getting my head around these days.

We decorated for Christmas about 10 days ago. Grandma Shirley came over and we had a day of getting at the work of pulling out the boxes, rearranging the furniture, setting up and hanging and discovering again all our old favorites. We ate copious amounts of treats, except ju jubes which got overlooked in our preparations. It almost didn’t feel like Christmas without jujubes and our favorite Christmas CD which we somehow misplaced. Christmas will come even if we don’t have the Veggietales Christmas Album on. I guess. I love the end result. As the days get dark so fast and it has turned really cold, the lights and the gentleness mean that much more.

This was definitely a time for team work.

Yesterday Russ picked up a large amount of product from the Vet Clinic as we prepare to work with our herd to delouse and deworm them. I believe the bulls are first up and that is scheduled for this weekend. I have been shopping for the gates that Russell needs, our local Peavey Mart didn’t end up having them. So, thats just a few sentences about what is percolating at the ranch. The days are more predictable, generally speaking, and I value that.