Day 17 – Postcards from the Heart

Oct 15, 4:39am 1 of 3

Mom, yesterday as Jill, Russell and I rolled down the road to Estevan, I sat behind Jill the driver, my eyes closed, battling my nausea wondering to myself, “what do I need from my Mom still?” Your comforting text that morning had touched me so readily. I wondered, “what more do I need to hear from her?”

One thing that came to mind is I need more of your wisdom + advice. That got me thinking, what advice has Mom already given that rumbles in me in a big way. Your wisdom has completely shaped my existence but what advice rings + echoes. The first of 3 things to tell you is this, I was ticked off about it at the time, but you gathered us girls at the dining room table about 5 years ago and warned us that our weight could easily get away on us in this mid-life stage, we need to make it a priority to take care of ourselves. As time unfolded your words were so true. I love this picture

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of Russell and I striding through the corral. I had lost 35 pounds, felt strong and my long lean legs were a revelation to me. The other night you were cleaning your teeth at your beside, taking time on them even when you were exhausted + hurting. You said you wished you had done better with this through the years. You are a good example to me Mom. I want to promise you this, and this feels deadly serious……I am stopping to think about this before I write it, do I mean it? Can I follow through? I have to. I Katherine Mary Kyle promise to take good care of myself – my soul- I will keep on in my r’ship with God, my weight – I am on the right track, my teeth – gonna buy more of those little tools you gave me. My skin – Mary Kay and I are gonna be best friends. My “me” – I will write more (thats the one that makes me cry to

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write…..hmmmmm -). So that was piece #1 of advice. You also told me “don’t worry how long something will take if you really want it, like education, the years are going to pass anyways.” And when I was 19 and came home from a dance broken-hearted, feeling rejected you said to me “keep doing what matters to you, what you love to do and Mr. Right will cross your path.” Again, as time unfolded, your words were so true. I have found in Russell the most loyal and loving life partner I could ask for. I am thankful for him, especially his wisdom, his humor and his absolutely incredible ability as a Dad. So this set of 3 notes + 3 pics is rounded out by these 2 from our vow renewal day. That hat Russell is wearing and his coat are the same he wore in 2000. Thanks for your advice Mom!

This is the 17th of 22 posts in a series, sharing ranch photographs taken by Liz Griffin Photography and used as “postcards” to communicate with my Mom. These were all written in the fall of 2020, while my Mom dealt with a terminal cancer diagnosis.

A little further background…………the trip to Estevan mentioned at the start was for Jillian’s drivers exam. Thinking about it now, through the lens of distance and a much lighter heart, I want to give myself a hero badge. I had a headache bad enough to be nauseated and my heart was burdened, over burdened. Due to Covid the examiner could not be in the car with Jill, instead Jill had a video camera installed, a parent beside her and a cell phone on speaker mode connecting her with the examiner. We were not sure that Russ could keep from influencing Jill with his expressive ways, so, I was the parent in the vehicle throughout the test. She passed! I think my headache was mostly gone when the exam started, but still, patting myself on the back, I think this should be remembered as one of those times when I stepped up to the plate. Russ cuts me alot of slack most of the time, I don’t feel like I have to do super hard things very often, but I remember this as one of those times and I am actually stunned that I could pull up my socks and do it.