Our days at the Bar MW this week have been a mixture of many things. The picture round-up starts with a cartoon that Russell posted on his social media. He related to it so strongly and he shared it with some definite emotion. Our corner of the province had some soaking rains this week. The timing is poor for the grain farmers trying to harvest but it means alot for pasture conditions and taking down the fire risks. Around here we are all feeling very grateful.
Another answer to our needs was the chance for Russ to get in very quickly to have a root canal done. On Tuesday he sent me this selfie from the dental chair while I waited for him at the Estevan library. He started to feel relief very quickly.Jenn came down to pick up her dog Paisley whom we had been dogsitting and while she was with us she cut Morgan’s hair. She is doing alot to keep him comfortable this summer!The next day my sister in law Tammy and I went to Regina. While Tammy was in her appointment I whipped over to Jill’s apartment for a visit. As I pulled away from there afterward I felt I had just had the best part of my day, just being with Jill was good for my soul. Later Tammy and I dropped into Starbucks and I caught this picture of Jill listening to a customer. This is very true to who Jill is. While I was in Regina Russell hosted new friends we became connected to through one of our family in Nova Scotia. Charles, a strawberry and sweet potato farmer, had come to Saskatchewan with his wife to visit their family in Estevan. Before heading to Halifax on Thursday Charles squeezed in a visit to the ranch to meet us and see what we do. He brought his son-in-law and grandson. They helped Russ check pastures. Charles told Russell it was a very good day.Meanwhile Morgan was doing something he loves. He spends a few days in the summer helping at the government community pasture. He took this picture from on top of his horse in his role as heeler while Francis treated a cow for footrot.This is a screenshot from our family chat, not a live video link. Those of us who watched it know that the fun fact Gina shared in this part of the audition intro is that she can hotwire a Case 2390 tractor.Sterling productions released this promo shot this week. Jill’s play is coming up and we are really looking forward to seeing it!Russ is working on a fairly large fencing project. While dealing with posts he came across this survey stake, marking the boundary line of the pasture. He says that is good evidence he is building at the right spot! The stake is dated 1959. How very cool eh?!My sister in law Tammy organized a really nice family gathering in Estevan for Valarie, (Russell and Tammy’s sister), who celebrated her 60th birthday on Friday. We really enjoyed being with our extended family circle and friends of the family to mark this milestone with Val.After the party and some back to school shopping we headed up to Arcola for the rodeo. We had a very important rodeo act to see, the kick-off, which was the Truco Trick Riders. Morgan’s girl-friend Jordanna is seen here, I must give Russ credit for the cool framing of the picture.Here is Russ and I at the rodeo. It was a bit of a painful night for me. I am an absolute chicken, I am so uncomfortable watching the roughstock events, I mostly look away. I do all the running for food, beverages, garbage disposal, anything to give me an excuse to leave my seat and miss some of those moments when humans hit the ground near the mighty hooves of powerful animals. If I could go to the bathroom on others behalf I would. Why even attend you might ask? Well this evening, the answer started with Jordanna and ended with Tenley.This is Tenley. She has been a part of our family for several years now in her official role as one of Gina’s besties. We have the hugest soft spot for her in our hearts. Tenley was one of four women doing bronc riding at the rodeo. We needed to stay and watch her give it her all.Tenley shared this picture with me. It gives me goosebumps. She is brave and so strong in everyday life, this picture makes that extra clear. Tenley had to wait a long time in the chute before they opened that gate. The announcer said she must have ice water in her veins. Noting her presence as she waited through a long delay he said she was “cool as a cucumber, she’s the coolest cucumber in the fridge, nothings bothering her at all.” She had a good ride and stayed safe. We were very thankful. When she sent me this picture she said, “sitting in that chute is a feeling I can’t explain. You truly feel as though you have ice water running through your veins!”
Saturday things came to a bit of a standstill for me personally. I was struggling. I simply cannot write a blog about this life and only tell a partial tale, it feels dishonest. I live with humans and sometimes things get really hard. I feel my feelings very hugely at times. We are working through stuff. The wisdom below sits right with me.
A little comic relief. Russell asked me to take this picture to commemorate an important day. He had decided that this was his last day wearing this work shirt. He has had it a long time and its special to him. My sister gave it to him. At one point he outgrew it and gave it to a friend, then Russ slimmed down and the friend outgrew it and gave it back to him. Its travelled many roads with these guys. Only one of six tears is visible in this picture.The job of the day at the ranch on Saturday was to trim horses hooves. Our friend Layne has a hydraulic tipping table he hauls here and he sets up shop. Friends with horses and donkeys come over and get their animals done too. Its a big day with lots of work and lots of visiting. In the chute at this point is our donkey, you might remember we named him “Elton John.” He is as cool as his name suggests.Today the guys were up early with a fun plan in their minds. We had friends coming over to bring the last calves of 2023 home to be tagged, needled, branded, and castrated. We usually do that in the pole shed with a small crew and a tipping table for the calves. Morgan requested that we do this last small group like an old fashioned branding, Russell agreed. It was indeed fun. It seemed less gentle on the animals in one sense, that was iffy for me. But there were perks to this other way too. The calves were not separated from their Mamas as long and they were soothed to see them nearby it seemed.Morgan and Carter Ewart were on horseback and doing all the roping. Russ, Emerson, Laurie and Tyce saw that all the jobs were done for each calf. Coffee dog is seen here, she was not terrifically helpful, Maddie got dog of the day today.Carter is seen here dragging a calf down to the guys. Tyce is ready with a piece of equipment that will temporarily and painlessly keep the calf immobilized, its called a “deadman”. Tyce is very experienced with how to do this work and was invaluable today. He is Jordanna’s Dad.Emerson was the runner, bringing needles and tags to the team. Jen was the operating room nurse, filling taggers, needles and the de-nutter. In the background is Laurie’s son and his family. We had a good visit.An action shot.
It was a very diverse week at the Bar MW. I think in everything that transpired, from parties to appointments, to time with our kids, and big jobs getting tackled, hurt feelings, rodeo feelings, much animal action and everything in between, those five words can apply powerfully, “we believe in each other.”
Its Sunday evening. Another week has passed at the Bar MW Ranch. This morning at church a very dear person told me, “I follow everything you write on Facebook.” I was so warmed by how sincerely she said this. It strengthened my resolve to share at least a few things more often. Pictures speak volumes. Words can overhwhelm. So here is some captioned pictures to tell you about the week that has been.
I had my eyes examined this week and picked out new glasses. I did not choose these ones. But if I had money to throw around I would have chosen these as a second pair. I love how zippy they are.Grandma Shirley came with me to the eye doctor in Estevan. Then we went to lunch and then some shopping. I asked her if I could take this picture to send to the kids, because they miss her. She agreed. I was only partly telling the truth. I wanted the picture for myself. I am crazy about this friend of mine and I want all these souvenirs of our adventures together.Jill is into her last two weeks of preparation for the musical she is in. This past week they added the orchestra to the practices. Jill loved it. She sent us this photo of her taken when she and some friends came across a poster for the musical, “Seussical.” Russ and I are thrilled she has created this opportunity for herself.Gina sent us this selfie. It meant alot to us. She has been off work with a concussion. We love seeing the sparkle in her eye as she is back to work. I told her it reminded me of Pippi Longstocking, as it seems she is walking a horse on the streets of Toronto. She liked that connection. I am loving being Morgan’s Mom at home. He is so interesting and fun. Here he is using a bug gun. It projects salt at flies to take them down. At the same time he is playing with his dog. Some will remember that Coffee had 3 broken toes earlier in the summer. Her healing has not been seamless but thanks to our vets she is doing great. She warms my heart immensely.Our friend Jen arrived for a short visit. She brought me a bunch of headbands, because I had been admiring hers on her last visit. We did a photoshoot and included dogs, ropes and kitchen tools lying around. Headbands for all!Thursday morning we went to Chopper K to sell last years late calves, we call them “grassers”. It was a weird morning. We were paid prices higher than we have ever seen before. The market is so strong right now. Instead of feeling elated I just felt odd. I am grateful, no doubt about it, very grateful, but living through the cycles of the markets brings about interesting knowing and feelings. How can anyone afford to eat when we get prices like this? How long will this last? What will the downward swing of prices look like when it happens? This extreme doesn’t represent bonus money, just some to help us recover more fully from the terrible ranching year that 2021 was. And then a lingering worry, how will our long term expenses be affected by such short term price surges? The price is partly a response to the fact that there are just less calves to be bought. The drought which is being seen in so many places has pushed many people out of the business. It is others suffering that has contributed to the prices we saw this week. So, yeah, it was a complicated feeling kind of morning.We make it a tradition to get a picture of Kim from the auction mart passing us the cheque. Thursday afternoon I had my hair cut. I had about 4 inches taken off I think. The next day Russ and I went to Estevan for a dentist appointment for him. We got to have breakfast out in the big city. This was taken at that breakfast.Morg called me that afternoon and said, “come out to the barn I think I got something you will love.” I whined. I was working at my desk and wanted to focus. He walked this yearling colt to the driveway and called me again. He had me, I walked out and indeed enjoying petting and scratching this beauty he is working with.The reason for Jenn’s visit earlier in the week was to leave us with her dog as she headed away to a wedding. We have enjoyed having Paisley around, for this week our dog census has been two German Shephard or part GS, and three collies. It has not been dull!Just for laughs……when I suggested earlier this year that these socks were ready for the bin Russ resisted. He has some connection to them. And so…..they remain in rotation.We received a gift yesterday. A print from an artist who is Russell’s god-daughter. She created this piece to honor murdered and missing indigenous women. We are grateful to have this in our home.Russ has made it his habit lately to capture some pictures of me leading worship in the different places I find myself. This morning at Alameda we had the sacrament of communion. Morgan assisted in the serving. There were some hilarious moments that were a part of church this morning as some things didn’t go as planned. A whole blog post could be made describing some of the reasons we laughed today. This is just silly. A record Russ made of me with my new “recipe.” Slices of apple, dipped in a shotglass of maple syrup and then dipped in whipped cream. Delish!Russ, Laurie and Morgan checked some of our herds this afternoon. Russ reports the animals are looking okay, but the grass is really getting affected by the lack of rain and the grasshoppers. Its a worry.Before Laurie went home we had a beer and some chips and a darn good visit. Russ commented again today, how much he appreciates that Laurie is so close, both distance wise and friendship wise. Our cat enjoyed being part of the refreshment hour.
After a week that had us whipping up and down the highways and eating in restaurants alot (3 meals at Chopper K Steakhouse in 2 days….eek, plus other meals out) its nice to wind this post down in the midst of some rain, tucked in our own comfy corner of the world, together with our dogs. I think its hard to grasp how truly blessed we are.
Early Friday Russ had a crew with him to do cow jobs. Our table was full at lunch and it was memorable as we enjoyed having 2 guests from Switzerland with us. Also, I tried a potato soup recipe that will definitely be served again.I dressed for work Friday afternoon. Not for cattle jobs, but a wedding rehearsal. The wedding was held in a pasture. Russ said, “Kathy if this wedding is in a pasture you must wear your cowboy boots to this rehearsal.” I agreed. That was a first for me as a minister. I still had a “souvenir” on my boots from working cows with our neighbor last week. The rehearsal was over in time to warm up some soup, hug Morg goodbye and get to the Barbie movie. We really enjoyed it. While at the movie I got a text from Morgan. “Turns out not leaving tonight please make sure I am up at 3:30am” After the movie…. coffee got prepped, croissant dough taken from freezer to thaw and rise, the oven set for a delay preheat for 3:15am and my alarm set for 3:25. It went off and I swung into gear. I put the croissants in to bake, flipped the switch on the coffee and went to wake my roper up so he was ready for his ride to the rodeo. Waking a teenage boy in the middle of the night is not for the faint of heart. Early morning coffee in a kitchen still littered with soup bowls from the day before.Later that day, the wedding. This was a really special one for many reasons. Another first for me, our cows were part of the decoration….in a distant way. The wedding backdrop was the Souris River Valley. That means that 125 pairs of the Bar MW cattle were grazing in the background.Sunday morning we headed to the Bengough rodeo. Morg had already been there for a day, he was entered in team roping. Carter Ewart was his partner and Carter’s family gave him a ride and a place to sleep.I happened to sit beside the woman who raised Morgan’s horse and still is very attached to it. We took a selfie, the mother of the horse and the mother of the rider. Carter on the roan on the left, Morgan on the buckskin on the right, throwing the rope. Great effort and Russ and I feel so proud.Morgan’s girlfriend Jordanna is a trick rider, she and her team provided amazing intermission entertainment. Russ and I stood close to film it and we both fought back tears. My picture is fuzzy. It’s not great but you can still see that glowing smile.Somehow this pic makes the horse invisible. Another girl we love, Gina’s good friend Tenley, is part of the picture. She is support crew for the Truco Trick Riders.
All weekend as things unfolded I was aware life is very good. I also was rather fascinated by the various things happening, and the way my identity was affirmed.
Over the course of a few days I was a cook, that felt pretty normal and I was a ranch wife, pulling on my shitty boots. I was an experienced minister making a rehearsal happen fairly seamlessly. I found the 8 year old girl in me alive and well as I remembered how much fun it was to play with my Barbies. In 1976 I felt so smart when I made a Barbie bed from a Kleenex box. My style of Mom-ing was clearly in play when I just knew that boy of mine must have something fresh and hot to put in his tummy. How would he know I love him if I didn’t give him a boost to start his tricky day and weekend. I was a human wrapped up in beauty, as a thoughtfully planned wedding unfolded, in a raw and achingly beautiful location, in a place where our very own cows were in the distance. I was a wife as I danced with my husband, easy in his arms. I was the Mom of a rodeo contestant, anxious to see him succeed, for his sake more than my own. I was so dang proud of his maturity through all that the day held. I am crazy about that kid. Today I had a new role. I have had a new girl in my world for many months. But today I got to watch her do some of the things that make her pretty amazing. I stood with my heart in my mouth, proud of another woman’s daughter, delighting in her, happy to cheer on a new but important part of our family.
Life is especially good when the days are so vivid. When you get the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you are doing what you are supposed to be doing.
A few days ago I conducted a funeral. That meant looking at old files for inspiration and liturgy I might find helpful. I got re-reading a sermon contained in one of those files. I loved what it contained. There was little snippets of story, a sense of world history, and ultimately a few lessons I could use. I thought maybe a few others would like to read it and asked the families permission to share it here on the blog. Its not my best writing because it is not meant to be read but presented. That means that things like vocal speed and tone would vary at certain points to get the words across as well as possible. That doesn’t convey in the written speech. The stories are here though and I hope you enjoy hearing about Bridie and her courage as much as I did.
Here is a wee summary of the person being celebrated here. Bridie Sawyer was a resident of Carnduff who lived to the age of 101 years. She died just over a year ago. She was born in Ireland and came to Canada as a war-bride. She had two children and remained in the Carnduff area for the remainer of her days. Last week we watched one of her great grandaughters graduate from high school here in Carnduff.
Here is the sermon:
There are many remarkable stories within Bridie’s life, the one I heard that touched me greatly was her decision to marry Mervyn after very little time available to spend together, and move to Canada in the aftermath of the war. If I had to put one word to that it would be courage. I have wondered if perhaps she was naïve, but she was 24 when these decisions were made, having already moved from her home in Ireland at age 17 to train for and experience several years of war time nursing in Edinburgh, she had been exposed to the realities of life, so I think it is safe to say, she had courage. Was it a bus or a train that first removed her from all that she knew? I have a mental picture of her petite 25 year old self, eyes sparkling, bag in hand, well-dressed, alone, making that momentous first step up onto a bus or train. What was stirring in her heart?
Hopes and dreams and love likely pushed Bridie forward up those steps, but surely none of that would have been possible without the presence of her courage.
As I thought about Bridie’s story it struck me that she acted like she knew that what she had within her was greater than the challenges she would have to face. Having reached the age of 101, the matriarch of four generations of family who stirred love and pride in her, with a nimble mind that defied stereotypes of old age, having travelled many places, well, it would seem she was right.
What did she have within her?
One of the first things said about Bridie when we met to discuss the service was that she was “a fiery little Irishmen and she never lost it.” What did Bridie have within her? Genetics. How she was made and the culture which formed her. So words like fiery, stubborn, bossy, are sometimes used to describe her. These qualities can sometimes rub the wrong way but they also bring with them a certain power to tackle hard things. The genetic code in her and however her culture shaped her informed very clearly what Bridie brought to the world and to the challenges before her.
Bridie had faith. Raised in a Catholic home and clearly maintaining that identity for most of the years of her life she was exposed to many religious teachings. In Ireland was Bridie exposed to Scripture in a way that fuelled her courage? Did any of these teachings come to mind as she faced challenging work in Edinburgh? Were there words that swam in the back of her mind as she stepped onto the boat that would carry her across the ocean?
Words like these from the earliest part of the Bible….
Deuteronomy 31:8 “And the Lord, He is the one who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”
Or from the prophet Isaiah at Chapter 41:10
Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Psalms 27:1-3
The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked advance against me to devour[a] me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. 3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.
Psalms 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though its waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling.
Zephaniah 3:16-17 In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Do not fear; Zion, let not your hands be weak. The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
We recently had an excellent sermon offered here at the church, I benefitted from hearing our minister Susan name the fact that statements like “have faith not fear” are not helpful, kind’ve trite and just really not enough. To combat that she offered a quick trip through key Scriptures that spanned the entirety of the Bible, it was clear that the reason we can forge ahead without fear dominating us is because of the way God is, promising to be with us, you get the feeling from hearing the span of Scripture that God is not interested in isolation and distance, but in sharing strength through being present with us humans. Its mysterious, hard to quantify and perhaps easily dismissed, but then you hear stories like Bridie’s, where something is stirring in her heart, maybe simply the back of her mind, and it seems like what was stirring was, “go on, you can do this, I am here.”
So Bridie had genetics and faith messages stirring within her. What else?
I am wondering about the example set by her own Mom. I know so little of her, obviously, but there are some facts, like the ability….strength….courage to raise eight children amid what ever 1920s Ireland held, I understand it was not easy. Then there are some stories. As a ranch wife myself I found it stunning and hilarious to hear the story of Bridie’s visit to Ireland when her Mom was 78 years old. When Bridie arrived at the farm her Mom was walking down the road herding cows and knitting at the same time. Surely one of the biggest truths of that moment is confidence. Her Mom’s confidence in her abilities in the situation. If this was the way Anne McBride tackled life when Bridie was young she surely had an example to fill her mind as she herself approached the moments that required confidence and courage.
Our days are not easy. Inflation, grief, climate change, conflict near and far, pandemic recovery, more grief, and in the midst of all this rapidly rising incidences of anxiety and depression. It kind’ve feels like a balance is tipping, like what is beyond us is becoming greater than what is within us. I wonder if Bridie’s inner space has encouragement or hope to offer us. How did what she had within translate for us?
The good news for sure is that many of you carry much of the same genetic code that fueled Bridie! Her feisty, undefeatable Irish spirit, sometimes known in stubbornness is, I have been told, alive and well in family gathered here. Her action oriented get down to work way of being is available through genetics and of course her example. What do you feel Bridie passed on to you? If you don’t share Bridie’s genetics, her friends, what is the gift within your genetics to help you tackle what is big before you?
With regards to faith I have no idea exactly what was consciously and subconsciously working its power in Bridie’s life experiences, however, it would seem the promised presence of God was hers to know. It is there for us too. One thing that the work of Jesus accomplished was to make clear that no one is outside the circle of God’s care and concern. Noone. Any who seek the assurance and power of God’s presence in their life can ask for it. Seek and you will find. It may be quiet. It may be known in humble ways. Love and compassion are usually part of the package. It’s a real source of guidance and grounding in the chaotic life so common today. It can be a comfort in the midst of grief. There is no price or qualifications required. Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
Bridie had examples of strength in her life. Is it possible that moving forward, as we tackle what life holds, and seek to be filled within, that Bridie herself can be an example to us, fuelling our efforts. Just like there was a story about Anne McBride that offered us a mental picture, there is a story about Bridie. One day Colleen came home from work to find that Bridie had been over cleaning, as she often did. Bridie was proud of herself. She had managed to clean underneath the pool table. The pool table which had been meticulously placed and leveled to make it even had been shifted around to get things really clean underneath. How did Bridie, a tiny woman not exactly young at this point, move a table both bulky and heavy? With strategy. By sitting with her back to the wall, and pushing on the legs of that table until she moved them as far as she needed to. She saw the challenge, she knew her limits and her strengths, she understood some tricks and she rose to the challenge. As we face the hurdle ahead, whether its grief or other things, we would do well to follow Bridie’s example, assess the challenge, estimate our limits, press into our strengths, put a few tricks into action, and act.
“What she had within her was greater than the challenges she would have to face.”
I have highlighted the three obvious things within her that came to mind having heard only a part of the story of Bridie Sawyer’s life. Of course, there is much much more. The joy of the coming hours and days might be in reflecting on and sharing and recording your own thoughts and stories that reflect who Bridie was and what she had within her. May that give you peace, broaden your understanding of her and yourself, and remind you of God’s presence. Amen
Almost a month ago my friend Deb and I took off for a few nights away together. We had a really good time. I mostly holed up in my room and worked on the book I am creating with Liz Griffin. Deb was a free spirit, on the loose in Minot, North Dakota, enjoying museums and shopping. We swam every evening and ate ice cream every day. Our time was full of delights.
As our days unfolded I found myself thinking about how playful my friend is. We have been friends for 46 years, somehow over those 46 years I had not put all the pieces together, or allowed myself to see, that my friend Deb has allowed her sense of play to touch her daily life in a multitude of ways.
After I got back home I settled back into normal life and while I did I thought about what I had really noticed about Deb. I pondered its source for her. I smiled at my memories. I decided that I wanted to do a tribute to her and her playfulness on Facebook. I got about half done writing it on my phone when it rang. After answering the call and returning to Facebook, I found the post I was working on had disappeared. Being completed emotionally challenged by the experience of frustration I gave up. Would I have more time another day? Maybe. I didn’t get to it but after a while I decided that a longer look at playfulness maybe could safely be attempted on the blog. I got started. I looked up a definition of playfulness and found these words in a Psychology Today article.
Playfulness is, in part, an openness to being a fool, which is a combination of not worrying about competence, not being self-important, not taking norms as sacred and finding ambiguity and double edges a source of wisdom and delight. So, positively, the playful attitude involves openness to surprise, openness to being a fool, openness to self-construction or reconstruction and to construction or reconstruction of the ‘worlds’ we inhabit playfully.
Bernard L. De Koven in Psychology Today
I have a picture, somewhere, of my friend Deb standing at my parents front door, dressed in her halloween costume. She was about 12 years old. She was dressed in a white clown suit with big colorful pom poms as the buttons and clown makeup, at least that is how I remember that picture. I have seen her in other clown pictures many times over the years. She has embraced what the above definition starts with, “playfulness…an openess to being a fool.” Deb has adopted an alter ego, a clown named Minerva whom she embodies occasionally at the long term care home where she is on the leadership team. Deb’s position, to the outside eye, is among those of highest status in the place, if you care about status. Deb has other things on her mind. She is absolutely passionate about creating quality of life for the elders in her midst at Sherbrooke Community Centre. One of her strategies is to spread joy, Minerva is a part of that. I was stunned to see this picture on Deb’s facebook when I was snooping there for clown pictures, Minerva even has her own nametag!! Her workplace takes her very seriously!
As our girls trip drew closer I was amused by Deb’s posts on Facebook. She had a countdown timer on her phone and enjoyed posting screenshots and her joy that our girls trip was at days and then hours away after being weeks and months from us at the start. I thought, “Deb, the way you are hyping this people are going to think we are going to Hawaii, we are only going to Minot!” Perhaps Deb appears a fool to be so thrilled by a place where we have been for daytrips so many times over the years. (Our ranch is only 90 miles from Minot.) She didn’t care, she was excited and she was telling the world and I am inspired by that.
While we were gone she delighted me with her joy. I was so friggin weary after an intense calving season. I really was mostly hunkered down and diving deep into my own world, I was happy but quiet and serious. In contrast to that Deb’s adventures had her returning to our place with a jubilant presence. Our place was a lovely 2 bedroom – 2 bathroom hotel room at Staybridge Suites. Many times Deb burst through the door, prompting me to amble out of my room, with much joy Deb shared her shopping finds and her pictures. I couldn’t help but be caught up in the joy of discovery. It was a testament to Deb’s depth and the wisdom she holds that as much as she played the fool she could switch gears in an instant and listen thoughtfully as I read her what I was writing. Her encouragement was very helpful to me. Her willingness to be moved by everything she encountered on this trip brought a whole level of positivity to our time that was already set to be pretty great.
I am analytical by nature. I know alot about Deb’s story. Both these things mean that the “why” question comes pretty quickly to me. Why is the picture below and the playfulness that sources it so completely natural to Deb?
She has just emerged from a global pandemic as a senior leader in a long term care home. She has just guided her youngest child through her grade 12 year. She has been supporting her husband through a career change in recent months. She is a woman in middle age. All these circumstances could make a person hard to be with. In addition she didn’t start out life from a pampered existence. As long as I have known her she has been shaped by the need to work hard, on herself and among her people. And from all that, she lands on my doorstep with a smile on her face, generosity and joy in her heart, love for my whole family and a thirst for adventure in her soul. I have a few theories about the why of this. I think in part its her wiring. She has an amazing brain extremely well suited to the place she works and its guiding norms. She is creative and flexible in her nature. However she has made choices. She kept a gratitude log on facebook a number of years back that spanned hundreds of days. Recently she has been logging her joy. Deb has practiced noticing and finding joy in everyday things, she has learned the power of gratitude. From the outside looking in it seems that every post has been like a seed that is blooming joy in her. She has also embraced meditation as a way to care for her inner life. Surely there are other things at play too. Deb has a very playful spouse and pets, this is something I relate to and I know makes a difference. Mostly though, I think Deb has made a choice, and there is joy blooming in her life, with a beautiful fragrance of playfulness because of her choices.
There is alot more that could be said. That definition above was lengthy and connected with more that I think about. Perhaps this is enough. I want to close with this picture that makes me smile. It was taken back at the ranch on our last night of our time together. It catches Deb’s animated expressions. It also catches the charcuterie board we were feasting on. We did charcuterie every night for supper on our trip. It seems to be our comfort zone. When we were girls we would haul the black and white 10″ TV to my bedroom or to the loft in our garage. We would get a plate of cheese, crackers and pickles organized and we would watch our show, “Dallas”. It feels like a blessing to have the chance to have a friend to share this much of life with and for that friend to be a source of joy amid everything.
There is a P.S. to this post. I sent Deb a copy of what I had written, looking for her permission to use the pictures and share the writing. She gave me the O.K. and sent two pictures. One is the halloween photo I mentioned earlier, I think she was actually older than 12. I see I remembered the details of the suit wrongly. She looks great though! She also sent the countdown timer to our next get away. She is well aware of the power of gratitude and embracing joy, it also turns out she grasps the power of anticipation really well!
I am betting those are my Dad’s shoes she borrowed for her costume.
Its June 25th and that means that my girl Gina has a birthday today. 21 years ago today I became a Mom. Of course there were plenty of hard moments but the thing I find myself thinking about lately is how fun it was. Gina, Jill and Morgan have brought so much zest to our lives. Here is a picture of our Gina at work this week at Medieval Times. Happy Birthday Gina!
This next picture includes Gina many moons ago. It is our whole family in 2008 when we visited Cody, Wyoming.
Last week Russ, Morgan and I returned to Cody. As you can probably imagine by the small boy peeking over the hitching post above, Morgan doesn’t remember Cody. We remembered it as a town with great cowboy museums and shops, Russ felt strongly that now was the right time to return so we made it happen. We tried to re-enact some of the pictures we remember taking the first time. This was the best we could do at “Old Trail Town.”
It was a trip full of lots of heart stirring moments. It was a priority for Russ to spend some time at the site of the Battle of Little Bighorn. The landscapes where the battle took place were a big part of our experience this time. The boys pondered a lot of information as we made our way around the loop. It was very sobering. I tried to get my head around the fact that such battle scenes and loss of life had happened in a place that was stunningly beautiful with loud birdsong as we encountered it. The native warriors prevailed against Custer’s invasion of their land and way of life, at least in this battle they prevailed, and the nature of their victory was well explored.
This was not our first trip to the museum, cemetery and battlefield. We had stopped there 18 years ago when my friend’s wedding took us to Denver. We tried to reenact a picture from that trip too. We didn’t pose just right and we were one block of cement off our original picture but here is the 2023 version and the 2005 version.
Our time in museums gave us some good things to contemplate. The picture below contains something that really struck me.
When we got home our cows, dogs and cat were in fine shape thanks to Ron, Ralph, Sheila, Rayna and Laurie. More work was waiting and suddenly its Sunday. This was a very big day for our family. We said good-bye to our minister, Morgan was baptized and confirmed and Russell was confirmed. Gina attended the Pride parade in Toronto and Jill is in Regina where she has a practice for the musical she is in at the end of August. I am the Mom with my head spinning in the midst of all that.
I love this picture of our minister Susan. Her hands are almost glowing. Those hands have done much holy work in our midst, blessed alot of bread and babies and today it was my boy who received the holy water of baptism through Susan’s caring hands.
This next picture is a very serious moment but was laced with humor, because of who Morgan and Susan are and the history that they share, Morgan was little more than four months old when Susan came to us.
A laying on of hands was part of the confirmation of faith process. Morgan asked Grandma Shirley and I to be part of this. I am honestly not certain about posting solemn and sacred moments like this. Yet……I cherish all the love depicted here and I don’t want to forget it. A member of the congregation took these pictures and shared them with me.
Russell was confirmed wearing this shirt that is very special to him. It was made for him by one of our people, our cousin Jenn, who carries her Dad’s Dene heritage with pride and generosity of spirit. It is a ribbon shirt.
Our morning finished with a delicious potluck and a dizzying amount of sweets as options for dessert. I took this picture of Grandma Shirley. She is a bright light in our lives.
This last picture from a genuine old time saloon in Cody features a big mirror and invites me to offer a reflection. What do I see looking back at me after a week like we have known? It has to be that the growth and change that is part of life is a marvel and it is holy. I am humbled and thrilled and laid low by it.
Last week Russell and I went to Regina to accomplish a few different things. A main hope was to find a possible piece of equipment for our haying work. As it turned out we are looking for a very rare thing and of the four dealerships we visited only two even took our contact information down. It was a little bit of a downer.
A little something happened enroute that I find myself mulling over and not sure of the significance of. We stopped on the side of the highway before we got to Regina. This is common for us, we often switch drivers at this point as I am the city driver of our duo, Russ does most of the highway miles. As we went around the back of the car to switch sides I initiated a hug with Russell. From an outside perspective I find this a bit weird of me. I grew up in a family with a warm environment but still we mostly only hugged at the airport or other places where significant hellos or good-byes were said. However, I find alot of comfort in Russell’s embrace, so as we physically drew near to each other rounding the back end of the car it seemed a quite natural thing to do. As we hugged, me facing the highway and he facing the ditch, my chin on his shoulder and his chin on mine, we both spoke at the same time. He said, “I can see a fire way over there.” while I was saying, “huh, someone is land-rolling over there.” We got back in the car, feeling amused that even as we were engaged in a hug, we were both scanning the landscape. Russ had this theory about our words, that people of the land are always surveying their surroundings. There are surely several reasons for this but I know one big why. I am thinking about the many stories where the alertness of neighbors has meant that we, our land, our buildings, our animals and our machinery have received what was needed when we have needed it. Sometimes its our eyes that help our neighbors. Just yesterday Russ and Morgan were joined by a neighbor coming down the road and together they put another neighbor’s wandering cows back in their pasture. Scanning your surroundings is part of being a good neighbor, an acknowledgement that we don’t have enough eyes to monitor all that we are responsible for, our neighbors eyes are important in the mix. We have so many good neighbor stories, it is a big part of what makes being a steward of land and creatures possible.
Another amusing thing of that day happened when we dropped into the mall to make a return for a friend. We were in a woman’s clothing store that had some sales on. Russell said, “Kathy, why don’t you try something on.” I have not been feeling myself for quite a while and at times like that I think maybe its not much fun to try on clothes or even to know what to look for. I am in a bit of an identity shift perhaps, in times like that, what clothes do you need? I find I still want to dress like I did in the late 90s. I had a good collection of vests. Anyways….I found myself responding to Russell’s invitation to shop longer and try things on by saying this, “nah, no need for new clothes, lets go tractor shopping.” It was not lost on me that I was speaking words that I never expected myself to utter and I do feel that I let the sisterhood of farm wives down. I really was not that thrilled about implement shopping (we are looking for a self propelled haybine not a tractor, but it was the word tractor that fell out of my mouth in that moment.) I think I just had no space in my brain for clothes shopping. Its fun to take note of the times that words fall out of us that we never expected to be the source of.
Part of our time in Regina included a trip to Starbucks to see Jill at work. As we came up to the till Russ told the clerk that he wanted a black coffee and a hug from that girl over there. The cashier looked taken aback, which was partly Russell’s goal I am certain. I piped in, “thats our daughter!” You could see relief come over the clerk’s face. We proceeded to enjoy moments of back and forth with the cashier and Jill. When we sat down to enjoy our drinks a woman sitting near us said, “is that your daughter?” When we affirmed that yes it sure was, she said, “she’s good.” It meant alot to us to hear that. Jill later told us that she is a regular, I guess that means she knows what she is talking about. A parent’s heart is bolstered at times like that.
Last Thursday we did something really interesting, a little bit challenging and quite rewarding when we exchanged favors with ranch family friends of ours. Our part of the exchange was to bring lunch to their branding. There were 35 mouths to feed. Russell was my catering assistant. Morgan was on the roping team for the branding. I have never attended a branding before, we do things differently at our ranch. It was interesting to see how the large scale action unfolds. It was rewarding to feed a very polite and thankful crew and see in the eyes of our friends deep gratitude for what we were able to do for them. The fun part that we keep talking about was that I made a slapdash broccoli salad in the last minutes of my preparations. I threw together the ingredients and with no sense that I had created anything special we headed out the door. It was a hit. Sitting around afterwards people were talking about it. Zany things were said, perhaps not just right for this blog post, but we are still smiling about them.
One last anecdote to round out this post. Morgan has been burning the candle at both ends lately. He has been schooling, ranching and getting a few fun nights with friends in as well as being a cowboy every chance he gets. He has become quite exhausted and I feel bad about it. Recently I found him flaked out on our bed, sleeping so soundly that I could not rouse him. So I did what any woman would do who misses their little kids. I washed his face and read him two children’s books. By the end of the second book he did respond to the ridiculous duck on a bike with a pretty teenager-y expression, but otherwise, I read uninterrupted. It felt good.
Thats all. Just a few little nuggets from the days we have known.
Russ surveying the one self propelled mower we saw in Regina, it was already sold.Jill hard at work, her startled co-worker in the background (by this point not startled anymore!)Morgan at the branding.Two of my favorite children’s books, kept on a shelf upstairs for the moment they are needed.
Late yesterday afternoon I went down to the river valley where we have cows pasturing. Russ asked me to help him, Morgan and Laurie by seeing that the cows got across the road into a new pasture.
There were three possible directions the cows could have gone but only one Russell intended. My job was to make the one open gate look like the best choice. I took a video of the action. It is two and a half minutes. I figured there might be a few of the blog readers who would enjoy seeing these moments of cowboy action. I don’t know how the videos display in a blog, I hope there is enough clarity to appreciate just how beautiful our surroundings are at this time of year.
If you are hungry for nature……….here is a nice serving of it.
Russ, Morgan and I are just home from a quick long weekend trip to Wyoming. We had a really good time. Over the course of a few days it seemed we were completely transported from our everyday life. I think you call that a very good break!
A very interesting and stirring part of our trip happened a little bit by accident. We stayed at an Air Bnb just outside of Cody, Wyoming and because we were out of town we drove past a little place called Ralston, where, it just so happened, “Jake Clark Mule Days” were happening. This was a whole week of events revolving around mule stuff. We looked it up online and found that we had missed most of the days but we could take in the mule sale at the end of it all.
On Sunday morning that is where we headed. We were there in plenty of time to browse thru the vendors, wander through the pens where the mules were housed and meet some of the sellers. It was a really pleasant time. We found the people very friendly and down to earth. We thought the mules were beautiful.
This local artisan created this gun scabbard (to hold a rifle while on a horse) and this breast strap (part of saddle equipment). He sold them for very reasonable prices and the guys were able to get things they had been hoping to find somewhere on the trip.We had no intention to purchase a mule but we hit it off with some of the sellers and had good visits. This man had this mule which Russell just loved. He offered us to ride it. Morgan took the chance.Morgan enjoyed this experience and it kind’ve bonded us to this mule. It was lot #36 in the sale and we all agreed we were not leaving the sale until we saw how our new friends did selling this fine animal.Russ even made friends with fellows standing in line for the outhouses!Morg and I in our spots for the sale.The mule we were attached to, in the ring. Oly’s daughter was sliding off the back of it, to demonstrate how well trained and easy going he was.
It was quite the experience to be there. The mules were so well trained, little kids helped demonstrate the mules, sometimes in pairs and even a trio of them. We saw kids stand on the backs of animals, walk underneath their bellies and often slide off the back. It was fun to watch. The atmosphere was electric at times. The mules went for very high prices, (in our way of seeing things), starting bids were $5,000, we watched one go for $32,000. The atmosphere was chaotic at one point in that one, people yelling bids from all around us it seemed. That was around the $26,000 point in the bidding. Oly’s mule topped out at $19,500. He said he would take it back home for that price. Whew. We were out of our league, but Russ said that it proved that he had a good eye for mules if 19,500 was not deemed enough, not reflecting its actual higher value. A fun moment was when Morgan leaned over in front of me to say to Russ, “aren’t you feeling like a genius for buying that donkey?” We are working on breeding mules of our own. Our donkey (named Elton John) has been “dating” some of our mares, this should result in the birth of a mule. Morgan has become very good at training, its possible we can return to that sale in the future with mules to sell.
After Oly’s mule went through the ring we headed out. First we stopped by a vendor we had not seen earlier. It was dimly lit in the back of the sale barn where she was located. We were pretty thrilled to find high quality red shirts for a $15 bargain. We bought one each, souvenirs of our great time. The picture below was taken back at home when we actually put them on for the first time, and much to our surprise as we pulled them out of the bag found they were pink!
Our time in Cody included visits to absolutely every cowboy store, Morgan was looking for a straw hat for summer wear. They were ridiculously expensive. In looking through what seemed like hundreds of hats on this holiday we found a cheap one for me and a new one for Russ (rare because his large heads make good fitting hats hard to find). I always feel like an imposter when I dress like this, and I say so. Russ always answers me with some variation of this question, “Kathy, how many calves have you had in your house this year? You are a cowgirl.”
A little personal reflecting………
As I spent time lingering in this place on Sunday I was so aware of how much I like mules. I can’t say exactly why. I have a few guesses. They are famous for being stubborn but truly it seems they are hard working animals with endurance and unique looks, kinda like me and Russ! (lol) Mules are such a big part of my story with Russ and honestly, I think that is why I am attached. A few highlights………..
I don’t remember this but Russ tells me that the day we met, when I came to lead a church service at a trailride, he was riding his gorgeous red mule he named “Jane.” So I guess that means the first time I saw Russell ride he was on the back of a mule. That seems important.
Back in September 1999 when Russ offered to give me riding lessons, (he offered, I said “No, I can’t afford it”, he said he would accept baking for payment), back then, it was Jane the mule who was my first ride. That first lesson made for an eventful day. I got a little bit hurt and hung out in Russell’s house for a while to get feeling better before heading home. These were among the first hours I spent with Russell Bayliss!
In October 1999 my Mom and Dad came to visit. There was a big and special church service planned they were here to attend. Russell offered to take my parents for a buggy ride. We went. What good sports my Mom and Dad were. The weather was terrible, my Mom’s special hairdo was at risk from the rain, but off we all went. It was memorable. I was very stressed by the service coming up, the risk of danger with this ride, and not entirely comfortable with Russell Bayliss. It was therefore surprising, hilarious and a blessing of sorts when from the back seat of the buggy my Dad (at the middle stages of his time with dementia) exclaimed to my Mom, “its so nice to see that girl so god-damn happy!” (His dementia meant he swore quite alot.) I didn’t feel happy. I felt stressed. What did my Dad pick up on? I don’t know. I think of this often as being the way he gave his blessing to mine and Russell’s union. Soon after that he stopped talking much. The mule pulling the buggy that day was “Dick”, the same mule that I rode a couple weeks ago, the only piece of my current life down here that has a physical connection to my Dad. The picture of that ride sits on a shelf I pass by dozens of times a day.
Dad wore Russell’s big fur hat.
In the years since Dick pulled that buggy he has been the animal we have turned to over and over again to be the safe ride for visitors that come to us. I want to do a photobook all about Dick and his encounters with friends and family over the years.
Mules have longevity. Dick was born in ’95, here he is in 2002, with my niece Bobbi-Lynn riding him, leading a herd of horses down the road. This was back in the days when the Bayliss family had a PMU ranch.Dick and I a few weeks ago, my friend Lynnette took this picture.
The day we attended the mule sale was Father’s Day. When I had the chance to buy earrings with mules on them I took it. Considering the connection between my Dad, a mule and I it seemed a perfect souvenir for me at the sale on that day. Russ also came home with the perfect souvenir for this story. About a year ago his wedding ring came off his finger when he didn’t realize it. It is gone. He has kept his eye open for a new one. One of the vendors had rings for sale, one fit his thick finger, he liked it, so do I, we bought it. That ring ties into our earlier history with happiness being noticed and blessed in the presence of a mule.
As I sit to write this it’s shortly after 11am on April 20th, we are about 36 hours into a winter weather event, not exactly a blizzard but wet snow combined with wind has made conditions trying. An hour ago our power went out. This house is very quiet.
We are doing well. Having power for those first 36 hours meant some things were normal and options were plenty for warmth for humans and calves. As I vacuumed yesterday afternoon I found myself feeling so blessed. I have never felt getting to vacuum was a blessing before. I was mentally and physically preparing for a power outage, when it didn’t happen yesterday and I could clean I was feeling pretty lucky. I guess perspective is everything!
There is lots to say. I have been writing blogs constantly in my head, but finding no time to actually do the recording of them. Pictures tell the tale again in this blog.
Sunday morning before church I helped Russ and Anja when a delivery of twins and a calf needing to be pulled happened within minutes of each other. The pulled calf was huge and had weak ankles so Russ and Anja splinted the calf.Jill came home on Sunday after work and joined Russ and Anja with Monday’s work. It was awesome to have her back. I can’t remember why this calf was on the lawn and needing a bottle. After a while alot of things blur together.Jill did saddle work, venturing beyond her usual calving roles. I think she really enjoyed it.This is one of many moments where there has been exciting, dramatic and sometimes disgusting times when the creatures and the humans have had to share the cab.Monday evening we were treated to a delicious meal in a calm and beautiful setting when the Sedors had us over. Here Anja shares pictures with Sue-lynn.At 2:30am Tuesday morning Morgan was dropped off by his buddy’s Dad, Lee Stanley. Having landed safely in Regina after their big huge adventure, Lee brought him the last leg, we truly appreciated this. I got up, chatted with Morg in the porch, he unlaced his shoes and said to me, “I have not taken these off since I put them on in Rome 26 hours ago.” Then he gently placed them off to the side. He carried his suitcase downstairs. I grabbed my phone to take this picture. The shoes that had tread all over very distant and special places were back in their natural habitat. My boy was home. My heart felt good.Tuesday we had an extra and familiar face on the crew. Our old friend Maja was back for a day. She came to Saskatchewan with a program like Anja’s a few years ago. She has returned and is working on a nearby farm. She has spent many hours on the trail with us but this day was calving cows!I went to town Tuesday with much on my mind and a lengthy grocery list. I feel very nervous about all the unknown factors of weather systems like we are in. That was definitely my truth as I headed in, with my first stop being to plan a funeral with a family, the funeral scheduled for after the storm has passed. My usual route to town includes a low level crossing, it is currently filled with rushing water and not safe to cross. I drew this close to get a record of it. The detour I took to avoid the crossing gave me this glimpse of the swollen creek in our valley. Water is mighty and damaging but also so beautiful and promising. Tuesday afternoon – Cowboy Morgan is back in the saddle. I love this picture Anja took of him.This is the first morning of the storm (yesterday), the guys came in for morning coffee after finding the 7 calves born overnight were all being cared for ok by their Mom’s. Russ asked for breakfast food figuring it would maybe be hours before they were able to get back.Anja got this good picture of Ron hard at work. Ron spent many hours in the tractor getting hay and straw to strategic places.In the late morning, as Russ predicted, things got hectic and the crew was stretched. On one trip through the yard as cow calf pairs were being brought in and calving cows were being brought home the call came requesting coffee to go. Russ asked for personalized lids. Lunch eventually happened. Russ loves hot biscuits and we used our cell phones to coordinate when those biscuits went in the oven for ideal serving temp. How would we have fared when there were no cell phones?
Late in the day yesterday I took the truck and trailer up to the pasture so that the cowboys working up there could trailer home, it was days end. I want to paint a word picture for you. I nervously drove the truck down muddy roads, 40 km/hr max speed, once I turned into the pasture the trail was quite obvious and I made my way to the chute. I could see a few cowboys huddled against the wind holding onto their horses. I wanted to take a picture but there are times that its just not appropriate. As I hopped out I could hear Morgan say, “we will do three and two”, I said, “how can I help?” “Hold the trailer door Mom”, was the reply. That was easier said than done as the wind grabbing that wide door meant I was holding back alot of force. I did it. It was during these moments that an unexpected thing happened. As Morgan began loading the three horses into the front compartment David Powell appeared with a horse in hand, perhaps it was Russell’s or Anja’s. ( They were at home dealing with sick calves and stressed cows.) I had been told David was coming out after work but not staying for supper, I didn’t realize he would stay so late though, and through the wind and the wet sleet blowing at us his very cheerful face emerged with a hearty, “hello Kathy!” I couldn’t believe the cheer amid the trying, somewhat tense conditions. Now, he had not been at it all day like the rest of the crew, but was likely up at 5 to get his regular work done so he could come out. This cameraderie, support and willingness to suffer, qualities that Laurie, Anja and David all show in spades, give us added courage and we keep going.
The bad weather is not expected to move on until tomorrow at this time. We are hopeful to have power restored before the end of the day. I am now sitting at Grandma Shirley’s kitchen table (she has power), I am poised to work on the funeral service for Saturday. There are plenty more pictures I want to share. These calving days are full of stories.
As Far As The Eye Can See 