Author Archives: kathyseeking

I grew up in the city, had some adventures and education and through some pretty cool turns of events ended up on a ranch near a small town with my husband, three children and many animals. I am a minister by training but currently my life revolves around our ranch and the people here. I feel comfortable talking about my inner world, my observations about the world, and what I find meaningful. I am not so comfortable revealing how the details of life get out of hand. For example, I ponder "How does my kitchen get this messy?" and "Can I post this picture where I look like this?" I have areas where I do image management but my goal with my blog is to be as real as possible, with the hope that it connects to others and maybe we can all feel less alone in our struggles and challenges and our everyday joys.

A different week

We are having a different week around here and that calls for a different kind of week in review post.

When the kids were really small we fell into a pattern that has continued to this day. That pattern is about days of the week and saying grace. At the table, “grace” is another word for a prayer of thanks that gets said before the meal. As an ordained minister I often get called upon to offer the grace at meals outside our home. I would rather not be the expert on call regarding this, not when we all have the ability to speak and thoughts in our heads. Most especially not when in God’s heart noone’s word matters more than another. (In our way of understanding). So, one inspired day the plan emerged that the day of the week that one of us was born would be our day to be responsible for grace.

Morgan was born on a Monday, so that is his day to decide if he will say grace himself, delegate the leadership to another, or lead in a spoken or sung prayer that we all join in. Most times Morgan says it himself, it is very short and to the point, and it usually includes the word “awesome.” He used to give thanks for awesome food but these days usually doesn’t mention the food and gives thanks for the work that got done that day. His sincerity is there so while I might rib him about not caring about the food, I am just glad it goes as well as it does.

So Monday is Morgan’s day. What is going on in Morgan’s life these days and how did it get started? Morgan is knee deep in cowboy realities. On Monday this week I helped him with roping practice by using my car to pull his roping dummy around the back area. (The picture below). He helped at two different horse sales this week and has done lots of hours on his horse looking after our herd. We has been given alot of responsibility this week and has carried it well.

So that is how this week went for Morgan, now a little flashback to how it all got started.

When Morgan was about eight months old Russ took him on his saddle for the tail end of a ride up the road to the ranch, Russ and a crew were chasing horses home. Russ figures that maybe the ranch boss (his Dad) had been over optimistic about what could get done in a day and this chase was therefore ending in the dark. There is a dip in the road just west of our place and it was therefore with some horror that Russell realized that a big oil tanker was coming fast towards them. He knew that driver would never see a herd of black Percheron horses in the dark, with the dip in the road making them invisible to the trucker. He therefore gripped Morgan tightly and galloped to the front where he could get the drivers attention and get him to slow down. Morgan didn’t cry but seemed exhilerated Russ says.

Tuesday is Gina’s day. She was born at 2:19am on a Tuesday. My memory of having Gina around the table is that she preferred the sung graces. We have one called “The Brown Cow”, I believe she preferred that one because of some humor that Russ injected into it. There is a line, “thank the pig for the bacon on the grill,” one day he told the kids we should always check the road for runaway pigs at that line, so when we are feeling up to it even yet there is a little extra action at that point. Anyways, on Gina’s day we can report in that she is delighting in her horses she is working with. She sent this picture this week. She and another staff had clipped this horse’s legs and Gina took a picture of Oedsen and Rachel. Afterwards he was intent on looking at the picture. I wonder what was going through Gina’s head as she offered her phone to show show him the picture. It is really making her smile.

This is an old picture of Gina but captures what is on her mind these days. She has been staying late at work and watching the knights doing sword fighting practice. This picture was taken at school in Victoria. She loves stage combat, and especially sword work.

How did all this get started?

Gina was riding solo and defying gravity from an early age. Often we would put Abba singing “Dancing Queen” on in the background and she would jolly jump with such happiness.

Wednesday is Russell’s day. He was born on a Thursday but back when we got the prayer schedule figured out he had Lion’s Club meetings at supper time every 2nd week. I thought I was born on a Thursday, (I was wrong), so I took Thursday and Russ took Wednesday and it has stayed that way to this day. Russ is always very grateful in his prayers, sometimes goofy and does the best job of any of us of thinking about people that can’t be with us.

These days Russ is thinking about cow chase work quite a bit. It is a fairly big deal to be organized for the six weeks that are ahead. Liz Griffin took this picture of Russ on the trail last year. The background behind this picture is that he has co-ordinated a multitude of pieces to be working in a pretty fine tuned manner.

What did all this look like almost 30 years ago?

Russell’s friend Lee took this picture. I think this illustrates pretty well how things were in the earlier part of Russell’s life with horses. It was a pretty wild situation for a long time and from the stories I have heard it seemed Russ really enjoyed that. This particular moment is described by Russ like this, “this is Comanche who turned out to be one of my best horses, I still dream about him and when I get to heaven this is the horse I want to ride. In this picture I was training him, he was in the midst of several bucks and I had not yet landed back in the saddle.”

Thursday is my assigned day for prayer at meals. It turns out that I was born on a Tuesday, already Gina’s day, so mistakenly assigning myself Thursday works okay. I almost always make up a fresh prayer, based on what the action is that day and the blessings we have known. I always says at the end, “may this food strengthen us to be people of love and peace in your world,” or something close to that. It feels important to me. Anyways, reporting in on my day of the week, my life is pretty much revolving around stories these days. More specifically, words. More specifically, getting progress made on the book I am writing. That has meant alot of weaving. Bringing history, words, hopes, and new information altogether. The book is about ranching in relationship to the world. It uses Liz Griffin’s photographs for great illustration of key points. Today I learned that 1% of the world’s population does the work that feeds the other 99%. We are part of that 1%. That feels really meaningful. It will find its way into the book. I don’t have a picture of me at my computer lately. But these words tell you how its going. I do have access to some old pictures that illumine how it all started.

This fuzzy picture doesn’t surprise me to see. I have loved the words in books for as long as I can remember. I believe I was two in this picture.

This picture from a few years later catches me doing one of my favorite things in my childhood, playing with our Fisher Price toys. I always loved the chance to set the stage for stories to unfold.

Friday is the day of the week that Russell and I got married. So that is our day to pray, we pretty casually, on the spot, figure out who is up for making prayer happen on this day, but its one of us, because this is an us day.

And what did it look like when it was all getting started? Like this…..we went to Brandon on one of our first dates, we were in search of some Tim Horton’s coffee and Estevan didn’t have any in 1999. Russ showed me the swinging bridge at Souris on the way home. One of us had a camera and got these moments in time.

It seems kind’ve appropriate that I was wearing Bar MW yellow on this day.

Jilly was born at noon hour on a Saturday so she is the boss of prayer on Saturdays. Jill’s life is very touched by music these days, as it has been for most of her life. She most often chooses a sung prayer for grace. This week she has been learning the music necessary to be part of the vocal chorus for the next Sterling Production in Regina. (Rocky Horror Picture Show). She will be auditioning soon for the Christmas musical. She is relieving her brain of all the words and choreography she learned for Seussical and moving on. She sent us this picture of herself and one of her people after the Seussical shows.

How did it all start? With a passion for fun outfits, costumes, movies, musical theatre, dance and an interest in piano, cello, guitar, fiddle and singing that has never gone very far from her heart.

By Sunday everyone but Buster the cat and Ron our hired man have had a turn so we often will use silent prayer. We each just say what is on our minds, in the quiet of our thoughts. I like that.

Is there a picture to go with that? Maybe this one?

It is amazing to think about this table, the weeks that have passed that saw the five of us pulling up a chair day after day, the sights that Buster has seen, and those that have pulled up a chair to join us. Very often some of the first words they heard at our table were “whose day is it?” I suppose I will spend the rest of my life thinking of Monday, Tuesday and Saturday as my kids’ special days. Perhaps the biggest grace in my life has been the chance to walk their journey’s with them.

Love & Coffee served…this week at the Bar MW

We had a good week here at the Bar MW. This first picture does a good job of capturing some of what happened at our place lately. The sign nestled into this book shelf in our kitchen was a gift that arrived this week from Nova Scotia. We love what our friends celebrate about our kitchen!

Monday could have gone two ways. Either Russ and Morgan were helping friends with their pasture work or we were doing our own. The deciding factor was whether our friends birthed a baby that day. As it turned out, they were working on that! I didn’t realize that and thought when I awoke to a quiet house that I could put on my shirt that said, “People, Ew!” I was going to be home alone all day. Nope. I was wrong. That baby meant we would be working in our own pastures and our friends from Estevan were joining us. Then we got the chance to add other friends visiting the area from Regina to our lunch time experience. So, what was going to be toast for lunch for Kathy turned out more exciting. The Ross family brought dessert. This bountiful tray of donuts which Danika arranged with care and Merrick is bringing to the table, was as much of a treat as the platter of watermelon Treasure was creating in the kitchen at this moment. We don’t often have either!

Steven, Danika and Merrick on their horses to check pastures.

Tuesday meant back to school. This is Morgan before heading off. Coffee Dog might have been distracted by a bird but it looks like she is saying, “I can’t believe it has come to this, I am not even going to look at you.”

After school Morg asked me to come out to the back pen and keep an eye on him while he was working on training a horse. I enjoyed watching his process and even managed to be video taping at the part where he was able to get on this two year old.

This is a video capture, Morg was in the midst of getting on Skywalker, our Andalusian gelding, for its first time. We bought Skywalker a year ago from a friend near Saskatoon. Morg sat quietly for a bit and bent him softly both ways, he got off without incident. It made for a boring video by todays standards, but I was relieved and it made Russell happy.

A treat for me this week was having our friend Lindsay contact me saying she had a cancellation in her schedule and would I like her to come for a deep clean at our place. How long did it take me to decide “YES”…..not very long. Lindsay is great at what she does but also a wonderful person to spend time with. We used to see her regularly but circumstances changed for her and I and we had not seen her magic for a very long time.

Another thing that enriched my week was time with Dawn. She helped me out earlier in the summer and I said let me help you in the garden when its harvest time. We went to the garden to collect some fresh herbs for an amazing looking spaghetti sauce we were working on. Dawn definitely gave me the easy jobs.

Meanwhile in Toronto, Gina was going full tilt and had a week that seems to have created positive momentum going forward. She had a few extremely positive phone calls with us.

Jordanna sent me this picture. She was the biggest sport this day. She came over thinking we were all going out for supper at Chopper K . She got roped into helping with a few ranch jobs before having a very late supper at our table. At this point she grabbed a moment for us, when she and Morgan pulled into the drop off chute at the auction mart. This was the first time that Morgan delivered cows to the mart without Russ. We had cull cows and bulls to sell.

By Wednesday night we had all given up on time and dug-outs making the faint smell of skunk go away from this dog. Morg decided to give a scrubbing with pretty smelling human shampoo a priority. It worked.

When he had the chance Russ kept puttering away at the fencing job he has been working on.

A super exciting part of the week for me was getting to go out for lunch with Liz Griffin. I asked for her to meet with me to discuss a shift in the vision I have for our book we are creating with her ranch photographs. The result: full steam ahead! I have several days ahead booked off for writing and I am feeling so excited!

While all of us having been going several directions for several weeks our hired man Ron has been working on preparing fields for new grass seed. His behind the scenes work has meant I have not seen much of him for a few weeks. I don’t have a picture of his work. So I tucked in this Liz Griffin picture from two years ago. Ron spends so much time in tractors.

Friday meant Steven was back to help the guys with some cowboy work. He helped me too. I was gone over the lunch hour, he brought enough lunch to share that I had buns for Morgan’s school lunch today and lunch for Russ and I today (helpful since I blogged way too long this morning!)

This picture says 6:03am in the stats. Morg rose a little late, had just sat down with some coffee near to where I was doing my morning routine and Russ said, “we gotta go Morg!” I felt for him. However, the crew was due in the yard in a few minutes and Russ hates not being the first one in the barn.

The crew included our friend Medhi, I love the big smile on his face in this moment. He was on call this morning, but our work this day was brief and he figured out a way to be free to come for a few hours. The cows were flushed out of one river pasture and brought back over to another where due to rain the grass was good again. (“For the first time in 5 f’in years,” Russ adds upon review of this.)

The move went smoothly, for the most part, the crew arrived back at the house at 9:28am. They were two minutes ahead of schedule. I on the other hand was a bit late getting brunch on the table. There were some very light hearted moments to enjoy this morning.

This is a Liz Griffin picture from 2021. It illumines what Russ got back to this week…..more baling. He worked on straw earlier in the week and Saturday afternoon went to a field of green feed oats Morgan cut a bit ago. Russ was relieved to find they were finally ready to bale.

I led worship Sunday morning in Carnduff. It was a morning that felt pretty rich in several ways. This picture Russ took has me looking a little odd, but I guess this is me.

I am in charge of the lawn at our place. I have avoided it like crazy this summer. Several weeks without rain made that kindv’e possible. Recent moisture meant I had to conquer whatever was holding me back and get at it. I have wondered if I might be dealing with fear about fire. After the haybine hitting a rock in the hayfield threw a spark that started a fire last summer, with our shop fire this winter on top of that, I am not okay with any risks. I told myself yesterday, “you just need to do 15 minutes.” I know myself well enough to know that momentum kicks in easily for me and there is no way I would quit when the progress was so rewarding. So I tricked myself into getting going and almost 3 hours later I was almost done. (I am amused by the burr on my shoulder and Knightwing’s paw on my chest…..business as usual?)

A hard moment happened when in the midst of mowing I spotted this dark grey plume of smoke. I called Russ who was baling 20 miles away to tell him what I was seeing and took this picture to send him. He asked me to drive down and check it out. If it was a machinery fire in the field there was nothing we could do, but if livestock needed to be moved he wanted to do what he could to help. I drove close enough to discern it was in a field being harvested. I couldn’t slow down my thoughts enough to describe the location to Russ in a way that he could picture whose field it was, the firetrucks were arriving. It was an interesting thing to encounter in the midst of my own fears.

About Jill…..our Jill was quite sick this week and made us all laugh with a video of her Covid testing herself. It was negative. She is better now and has begun rehearsals as part of the vocal section for the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which will be staged in Regina at Halloween. Meanwhile at the ranch, Russ caught Jill the cow on video, she is looking great and her steer calf is gorgeous.

For sheer amusement I reccomend you look at this video. Morgan had the job of picking rocks from our new hayfield yesterday. He got quite creative and Bingo and Maddie get to show how cool they really are.

That was the week we had here at the ranch. We know that some of our circle had a pretty tough one. We hope that whatever your week held you have frequent reminders telling you clearly just how loved you are.

Move Over Stompin’ Tom – Another Week at the BAR MW

There has been alot of hugging this week, alot of familiar faces, some new ones, alot of music and visiting for the people of the Bar MW. There has been some normal stuff too. The pictures tell the tale, the 1st one holds clues to the big deal events of the week.

On Monday Russell and Morgan rode with our new friends from Estevan and checked several pastures. That means assessing grass conditions, looking at all the animals and scouting out any problems, the most common ones are footrot, pink eye or a bull that appears to be keeping separate from the herd. This was unexpectedly a really long day, supper was at 10pm. Russ kept trying to give the newbies a chance to quit sooner than later, they always chose later and proved to manage hungers and weariness very well.

Tuesday morning had Morgan and Coffee dog heading to a field of green feed oats to start cutting. Before they left Morg and Coffee had a little play time, I totally enjoyed this moment when I overheard Morgan say to Coffee, “Well I don’t usually bring MY toys to the field but I guess you could.” Morgan is special in the way that he is the only guy in the house who can translate the dogs barks and noises into the english language, he does it fairly regularly. It tickles my fancy.

Russ spent much of the day dealing with cow problems that were emerging. We had Marcel out to do a minor procedure on a bull and help us with a cow that has eye cancer. I had a few small jobs to do to help Russ out in his day, including this moment where having brought the final calf of the year home in the trailer we cornered it, tagged it and castrated it. Russ had invited me to make named tag for these late calves, as we will have them around for a whole year. I opened my address book and found names in it for our tags. This calf is Aunt D in honor of my Aunt Danna.

Wednesday morning saw Morgan heading back to the field and Russ heading to the public pasture to help the pasture manager with herds there. He brought our friend Marisol with him and together they helped tackle some big jobs. You can see by this picture Russell took that the pastures are large and hilly, and quite beautiful. Russ would like it noted that next to the pasture manager he was the best roper there that day and that is not saying much. They roped and treated alot of cows.

Wednesday night at 7:38pm I was talking with Gina when I stopped her in midsentence to say “Gina! Jill’s play is starting right now as we speak, oh my goodness!” It felt so weird to be in my kitchen, so far away from this momentous moment for Jill, but I didn’t need to feel disconnected for long. My sister-friend Deb, from Saskatoon, had traveled to Regina with her daughter to see the play that night. At intermission she sent me the above texts.

Following the show this dialogue happened on Facebook. Karla is a super supportive friend of Russell’s from highschool. Donalene is one of my people from my earliest days in the Carievale area, she now is in Regina. We have big soft spots for both of them and our hearts were warmed at the thought of them cheering on our girl.

Thursday morning had us going at top speed to be ready to get to Regina. We had a new dog sitter coming to stay and that meant cleaning the house before leaving. We also had a peculiar problem. A stuffed animal (monkey) that had been in storage for years was pulled out last week. The day before we left it all of a sudden started doing its monkey skreeching at random times. It sounded rather horrrifying. Once we figured out the source we tried different things to silence it. We put it in the fridge overnight and that kept it silent. Once warmed up it started again. We couldn’t leave this random skreeching for our dog sitter to deal with. Morgan tucked it in bed (this picture) and it stopped. But I wasn’t sure for how long. I put it in the deep freeze and that is where it currently can be found.

Thursday afternoon there was a matinee performance of Seussical the Musical and at intermission we got this picture from cousin Laurie. He and ten family members had met in Regina to attend the show. Jill loved these moments. We were so touched to know that Jill had fans at every performance.

From north and south many family and friends came to see Jill’s show. We rented a large Air bnb and hosted folks for before and/or after show drinks and snacks. We were running behind getting to Regina, our friend Gina jumped into the kitchen with me and helped to get everything laid out. I was so very grateful to be basically ready as people arrived, because of her.

One of our Saskatoon family manages the Crumbl Cookie location there, my sister Linda brought this delectable box of cookies.

We were thrilled to have my sister-cousin and her family join us for the pre show party and the show. Afterwards Jimmy said, “I would definitely see that again.” I think thats a solid review. Also in this picture is my niece Brodie. Jodi started something hilarious after the show when lingering in the lobby she exclaimed “alright, talking about projects, when are we going to do a family musical?!?” We were all feeling a bit giddy and her question really took off, although none of our answers were serious. The security guard was just coming to kick us out when we came to our senses and realized everyone was out of the bath room and we could leave. They locked the doors behind us!

My sister grabbed this picture of Russ and I heading to our seats, I think you can definitely tell that we were excited. The title for this blog is a quote from Russ as we pulled into the parking lot at the Conexus Arts Centre, he said, “move over Stompin’ Tom – Jilly’s here!!” I absolutely loved that. When Russell first learned that Jill got the part and would be performing at Conexus he said, “my girl is going to be on the same stage as Stompin’ Tom Connors!!!” It was over 24 years ago that Russ attended a Stompin’ Tom concert there.

At intermission the characters were allowed to come out and mingle with the crowd but they had to stay in character. So we hugged Yertle the Turtle and Russ and Jimmy got her autograph. In these moments we caught sight of David and Linda Powell, they had raced to Regina from Carnduff after managing everything their afternoon held at home. We didn’t take a picture but definitely took comfort from their presence.

I am lucky to have a husband that values my family immensely. Here he is with my brother in law Stu and my cousin Jimmy in the parking lot afterwards.

After the show Jill came to the Air bnb and visited. We were glad to have that time with her. Something special…..she is wearing the blue shirt that Russ was wearing in the delivery room when she was born. We don’t let go of things easily in this family!

Grandma Shirley came with us for our Regina adventure. She really enjoyed time with members of my family, in this case Stu and my sister Margie. Margie often compliments me by calling me a Rockstar. I love that. It takes one to know one.

Jilly loves her Grandma Shirley almost as much as I do.

Friday morning my sisters and I visited our uncle and aunt. Their home behind us is a holder of many memories and they will be moving from it soon. This was a tough but beautiful visit as we were invited into their aging journey for a bit of time. This picture is not complete. Our sister Janet has a passion for music, performance and family. She lives in Vancouver. If she lived nearer she would have been with us and this visit would have been even more special.

I wasn’t shopping for an air bnb with a pool table but it was an excellent thing, it got lots of use. It looks like Linda and I were enjoying watching.

Russ and I visited a friend at Wascana Centre, there was lots more time with Jill, shopping and then another pre show gathering with Mark and Linda.

Friday night Russ and I saw the show again, this time Morgan, Jordanna and Grandma Shirley crowded into our little Bronco and headed to the theatre with us. In this picture my cousin Lisa is to Shirley’s side.

Intermission time….we caught up with the Mayor of Who-ville and his wife.

Yertle the Turtle with her fans…….Mark, Linda and Shirley.

About 5 years ago Jill and Gina did a special 4H project in drama. The woman beside Jill was their project leader. We loved knowing Jody and Marlee were coming to celebrate this musical theatre experience with Jill.

There are some fun inside jokes between Morgan and Jill. I sense there was something in the works here. Although Jordanna confessed to not being a real fan of musical theatre, she says she enjoyed the show.

Beside me are my cousin Lisa and her husband Brent. My Nanny and Lisa’s Grandma were sisters. It is really nice to have these extended family connections and with Lisa being in Regina we have the chance to nurture that. We had a good visit back at the Air bnb after the show.

Saturday morning Russ got up at 5am, got Morgan and Jordanna awake and going and they headed back to the ranch. They had a trailride to get to. In this picture Russ is modelling his new chaps. They were made especially for him in Nova Scotia and came in the mail this week. The pockets are large; his pocket knife, Copenhagen and phone are now safely accessible. They are alot lighter than his bulletproof other pair.

This is Sunday morning on our way to the Hubbards for the 2nd day of the trail ride. Coffee is helping drive. By the end of this day there was no way that we would happily sit that close to the dogs. They had come across a dead skunk towards the end of the trail and each wanted to make sure that Russ didn’t miss out on the experience. They each had a roll in it. As of now, 24 hours and three trips through a dug out later, they still have a slight smell to them.

Our donkey “Elton John” was part of the action. Morgan rode him up to the breakfast buffet and then back to the pasture. I wonder how Sharon felt about this? She and Bill work so hard hosting people in their yard all weekend. I often wonder if Sharon says to herself, “when are these people going to go home?!?!?!?” She never gives off that vibe, but I think in her shoes I would feel that way. She said to me yesterday, “if we stopped doing this (this was the 24th annual ride), when would we all get together?” She values human connection so much. Bill takes care of trail life and it is all very, very good.

I rode Dick and felt pretty darn relaxed on him.

When we are trail-riding random conversations often happen as horses cross paths over the miles we are on the trail. I had a few really good moments of visiting with Laurie, he told me his Dad (pictured here in the foyer at the Conexus centre with his great grand-daughter) really enjoyed Jill’s show. He reflected that his Dad had never been to a musical before so he just wasn’t sure what he would think. He was happy to hear that his Dad really did enjoy it. I found myself pondering with Laurie just how awesome it is that an 86 year old man can try something new and be open hearted. The show was crazy, non stop color and loud beautiful orchestrations, a typical Seuss storyline full of odd but deeply meaningful words and ideas ….. all of that was a good experience for Uncle George. Thats cool.

Russ brought “Elton John” our donkey to the trailride figuring we could pay this girl to ride him and get a start on training him. I thought this was a terrible idea. It turns out I was wrong. Clara, who turned 14 this day, rode our donkey with great success for two full days and said it was fun. Clara is Jordanna’s little sister.

As we were getting ready for bed last night Russ asked me, “who was the coolest person you visited with today?” He has never asked me that before. After a minute I said, “Braylee.” This three year old girl and I have connected. Here we are using Elton John’s ear as a microphone and singing “Crocodile Rock”. She seems to appreciate all the goofy stuff I come up with. (This is a 18 second video, click on the arrow for it to play if you are not already totally maxed out by this blog.)

When the ride was over it took me a bit to get off my mule. I stopped mid-way and decided to channel my inner trick rider, I tried to smile like Jordanna does and fling my arms wide like she does. Laurie was there and told me to hold the pose. It was fun. (Full disclosure….while Jordanna does this at about 50 miles per hour, my friend Dick the mule was standing stock still!)

Meanwhile in Toronto, Gina is living a combination of all of this, working with those beautiful medieval times horses amid the rigors of a show and like the trail ride, in the midst of a real heatwave. We love the pictures she sends us.

That was the week. Thank you for hanging in. It has lots of details that not everyone would give a hoot about but it is a record for us of a very important set of days. We have so much to say thank you for.

Reporting in ….

Our days at the Bar MW this week have been a mixture of many things. The picture round-up starts with a cartoon that Russell posted on his social media. He related to it so strongly and he shared it with some definite emotion. Our corner of the province had some soaking rains this week. The timing is poor for the grain farmers trying to harvest but it means alot for pasture conditions and taking down the fire risks. Around here we are all feeling very grateful.

Another answer to our needs was the chance for Russ to get in very quickly to have a root canal done. On Tuesday he sent me this selfie from the dental chair while I waited for him at the Estevan library. He started to feel relief very quickly.

Jenn came down to pick up her dog Paisley whom we had been dogsitting and while she was with us she cut Morgan’s hair. She is doing alot to keep him comfortable this summer!

The next day my sister in law Tammy and I went to Regina. While Tammy was in her appointment I whipped over to Jill’s apartment for a visit. As I pulled away from there afterward I felt I had just had the best part of my day, just being with Jill was good for my soul. Later Tammy and I dropped into Starbucks and I caught this picture of Jill listening to a customer. This is very true to who Jill is.

While I was in Regina Russell hosted new friends we became connected to through one of our family in Nova Scotia. Charles, a strawberry and sweet potato farmer, had come to Saskatchewan with his wife to visit their family in Estevan. Before heading to Halifax on Thursday Charles squeezed in a visit to the ranch to meet us and see what we do. He brought his son-in-law and grandson. They helped Russ check pastures. Charles told Russell it was a very good day.

Meanwhile Morgan was doing something he loves. He spends a few days in the summer helping at the government community pasture. He took this picture from on top of his horse in his role as heeler while Francis treated a cow for footrot.

This is a screenshot from our family chat, not a live video link. Those of us who watched it know that the fun fact Gina shared in this part of the audition intro is that she can hotwire a Case 2390 tractor.

Sterling productions released this promo shot this week. Jill’s play is coming up and we are really looking forward to seeing it!

Russ is working on a fairly large fencing project. While dealing with posts he came across this survey stake, marking the boundary line of the pasture. He says that is good evidence he is building at the right spot! The stake is dated 1959. How very cool eh?!

My sister in law Tammy organized a really nice family gathering in Estevan for Valarie, (Russell and Tammy’s sister), who celebrated her 60th birthday on Friday. We really enjoyed being with our extended family circle and friends of the family to mark this milestone with Val.

After the party and some back to school shopping we headed up to Arcola for the rodeo. We had a very important rodeo act to see, the kick-off, which was the Truco Trick Riders. Morgan’s girl-friend Jordanna is seen here, I must give Russ credit for the cool framing of the picture.

Here is Russ and I at the rodeo. It was a bit of a painful night for me. I am an absolute chicken, I am so uncomfortable watching the roughstock events, I mostly look away. I do all the running for food, beverages, garbage disposal, anything to give me an excuse to leave my seat and miss some of those moments when humans hit the ground near the mighty hooves of powerful animals. If I could go to the bathroom on others behalf I would. Why even attend you might ask? Well this evening, the answer started with Jordanna and ended with Tenley.

This is Tenley. She has been a part of our family for several years now in her official role as one of Gina’s besties. We have the hugest soft spot for her in our hearts. Tenley was one of four women doing bronc riding at the rodeo. We needed to stay and watch her give it her all.

Tenley shared this picture with me. It gives me goosebumps. She is brave and so strong in everyday life, this picture makes that extra clear. Tenley had to wait a long time in the chute before they opened that gate. The announcer said she must have ice water in her veins. Noting her presence as she waited through a long delay he said she was “cool as a cucumber, she’s the coolest cucumber in the fridge, nothings bothering her at all.” She had a good ride and stayed safe. We were very thankful. When she sent me this picture she said, “sitting in that chute is a feeling I can’t explain. You truly feel as though you have ice water running through your veins!”

Saturday things came to a bit of a standstill for me personally. I was struggling. I simply cannot write a blog about this life and only tell a partial tale, it feels dishonest. I live with humans and sometimes things get really hard. I feel my feelings very hugely at times. We are working through stuff. The wisdom below sits right with me.

A little comic relief. Russell asked me to take this picture to commemorate an important day. He had decided that this was his last day wearing this work shirt. He has had it a long time and its special to him. My sister gave it to him. At one point he outgrew it and gave it to a friend, then Russ slimmed down and the friend outgrew it and gave it back to him. Its travelled many roads with these guys. Only one of six tears is visible in this picture.

The job of the day at the ranch on Saturday was to trim horses hooves. Our friend Layne has a hydraulic tipping table he hauls here and he sets up shop. Friends with horses and donkeys come over and get their animals done too. Its a big day with lots of work and lots of visiting. In the chute at this point is our donkey, you might remember we named him “Elton John.” He is as cool as his name suggests.

Today the guys were up early with a fun plan in their minds. We had friends coming over to bring the last calves of 2023 home to be tagged, needled, branded, and castrated. We usually do that in the pole shed with a small crew and a tipping table for the calves. Morgan requested that we do this last small group like an old fashioned branding, Russell agreed. It was indeed fun. It seemed less gentle on the animals in one sense, that was iffy for me. But there were perks to this other way too. The calves were not separated from their Mamas as long and they were soothed to see them nearby it seemed.

Morgan and Carter Ewart were on horseback and doing all the roping. Russ, Emerson, Laurie and Tyce saw that all the jobs were done for each calf. Coffee dog is seen here, she was not terrifically helpful, Maddie got dog of the day today.

Carter is seen here dragging a calf down to the guys. Tyce is ready with a piece of equipment that will temporarily and painlessly keep the calf immobilized, its called a “deadman”. Tyce is very experienced with how to do this work and was invaluable today. He is Jordanna’s Dad.

Emerson was the runner, bringing needles and tags to the team.

Jen was the operating room nurse, filling taggers, needles and the de-nutter. In the background is Laurie’s son and his family. We had a good visit.

It was a very diverse week at the Bar MW. I think in everything that transpired, from parties to appointments, to time with our kids, and big jobs getting tackled, hurt feelings, rodeo feelings, much animal action and everything in between, those five words can apply powerfully, “we believe in each other.”

Another Week Gone By

Its Sunday evening. Another week has passed at the Bar MW Ranch. This morning at church a very dear person told me, “I follow everything you write on Facebook.” I was so warmed by how sincerely she said this. It strengthened my resolve to share at least a few things more often. Pictures speak volumes. Words can overhwhelm. So here is some captioned pictures to tell you about the week that has been.

I had my eyes examined this week and picked out new glasses. I did not choose these ones. But if I had money to throw around I would have chosen these as a second pair. I love how zippy they are.

Grandma Shirley came with me to the eye doctor in Estevan. Then we went to lunch and then some shopping. I asked her if I could take this picture to send to the kids, because they miss her. She agreed. I was only partly telling the truth. I wanted the picture for myself. I am crazy about this friend of mine and I want all these souvenirs of our adventures together.

Jill is into her last two weeks of preparation for the musical she is in. This past week they added the orchestra to the practices. Jill loved it. She sent us this photo of her taken when she and some friends came across a poster for the musical, “Seussical.” Russ and I are thrilled she has created this opportunity for herself.

Gina sent us this selfie. It meant alot to us. She has been off work with a concussion. We love seeing the sparkle in her eye as she is back to work. I told her it reminded me of Pippi Longstocking, as it seems she is walking a horse on the streets of Toronto. She liked that connection.

I am loving being Morgan’s Mom at home. He is so interesting and fun. Here he is using a bug gun. It projects salt at flies to take them down. At the same time he is playing with his dog. Some will remember that Coffee had 3 broken toes earlier in the summer. Her healing has not been seamless but thanks to our vets she is doing great. She warms my heart immensely.

Our friend Jen arrived for a short visit. She brought me a bunch of headbands, because I had been admiring hers on her last visit. We did a photoshoot and included dogs, ropes and kitchen tools lying around. Headbands for all!

Thursday morning we went to Chopper K to sell last years late calves, we call them “grassers”. It was a weird morning. We were paid prices higher than we have ever seen before. The market is so strong right now. Instead of feeling elated I just felt odd. I am grateful, no doubt about it, very grateful, but living through the cycles of the markets brings about interesting knowing and feelings. How can anyone afford to eat when we get prices like this? How long will this last? What will the downward swing of prices look like when it happens? This extreme doesn’t represent bonus money, just some to help us recover more fully from the terrible ranching year that 2021 was. And then a lingering worry, how will our long term expenses be affected by such short term price surges? The price is partly a response to the fact that there are just less calves to be bought. The drought which is being seen in so many places has pushed many people out of the business. It is others suffering that has contributed to the prices we saw this week. So, yeah, it was a complicated feeling kind of morning.

We make it a tradition to get a picture of Kim from the auction mart passing us the cheque.

Thursday afternoon I had my hair cut. I had about 4 inches taken off I think. The next day Russ and I went to Estevan for a dentist appointment for him. We got to have breakfast out in the big city. This was taken at that breakfast.

Morg called me that afternoon and said, “come out to the barn I think I got something you will love.” I whined. I was working at my desk and wanted to focus. He walked this yearling colt to the driveway and called me again. He had me, I walked out and indeed enjoying petting and scratching this beauty he is working with.

The reason for Jenn’s visit earlier in the week was to leave us with her dog as she headed away to a wedding. We have enjoyed having Paisley around, for this week our dog census has been two German Shephard or part GS, and three collies. It has not been dull!

Just for laughs……when I suggested earlier this year that these socks were ready for the bin Russ resisted. He has some connection to them. And so…..they remain in rotation.

We received a gift yesterday. A print from an artist who is Russell’s god-daughter. She created this piece to honor murdered and missing indigenous women. We are grateful to have this in our home.

Russ has made it his habit lately to capture some pictures of me leading worship in the different places I find myself. This morning at Alameda we had the sacrament of communion. Morgan assisted in the serving. There were some hilarious moments that were a part of church this morning as some things didn’t go as planned. A whole blog post could be made describing some of the reasons we laughed today.

This is just silly. A record Russ made of me with my new “recipe.” Slices of apple, dipped in a shotglass of maple syrup and then dipped in whipped cream. Delish!

Russ, Laurie and Morgan checked some of our herds this afternoon. Russ reports the animals are looking okay, but the grass is really getting affected by the lack of rain and the grasshoppers. Its a worry.

Before Laurie went home we had a beer and some chips and a darn good visit. Russ commented again today, how much he appreciates that Laurie is so close, both distance wise and friendship wise. Our cat enjoyed being part of the refreshment hour.

After a week that had us whipping up and down the highways and eating in restaurants alot (3 meals at Chopper K Steakhouse in 2 days….eek, plus other meals out) its nice to wind this post down in the midst of some rain, tucked in our own comfy corner of the world, together with our dogs. I think its hard to grasp how truly blessed we are.

Good Weekend

Early Friday Russ had a crew with him to do cow jobs. Our table was full at lunch and it was memorable as we enjoyed having 2 guests from Switzerland with us. Also, I tried a potato soup recipe that will definitely be served again.

I dressed for work Friday afternoon. Not for cattle jobs, but a wedding rehearsal. The wedding was held in a pasture. Russ said, “Kathy if this wedding is in a pasture you must wear your cowboy boots to this rehearsal.” I agreed. That was a first for me as a minister. I still had a “souvenir” on my boots from working cows with our neighbor last week.

The rehearsal was over in time to warm up some soup, hug Morg goodbye and get to the Barbie movie. We really enjoyed it.

While at the movie I got a text from Morgan. “Turns out not leaving tonight please make sure I am up at 3:30am” After the movie…. coffee got prepped, croissant dough taken from freezer to thaw and rise, the oven set for a delay preheat for 3:15am and my alarm set for 3:25. It went off and I swung into gear. I put the croissants in to bake, flipped the switch on the coffee and went to wake my roper up so he was ready for his ride to the rodeo. Waking a teenage boy in the middle of the night is not for the faint of heart.

Early morning coffee in a kitchen still littered with soup bowls from the day before.

Later that day, the wedding. This was a really special one for many reasons. Another first for me, our cows were part of the decoration….in a distant way. The wedding backdrop was the Souris River Valley. That means that 125 pairs of the Bar MW cattle were grazing in the background.

Sunday morning we headed to the Bengough rodeo. Morg had already been there for a day, he was entered in team roping. Carter Ewart was his partner and Carter’s family gave him a ride and a place to sleep.

I happened to sit beside the woman who raised Morgan’s horse and still is very attached to it. We took a selfie, the mother of the horse and the mother of the rider.

Carter on the roan on the left, Morgan on the buckskin on the right, throwing the rope. Great effort and Russ and I feel so proud.

Morgan’s girlfriend Jordanna is a trick rider, she and her team provided amazing intermission entertainment. Russ and I stood close to film it and we both fought back tears. My picture is fuzzy. It’s not great but you can still see that glowing smile.

Somehow this pic makes the horse invisible. Another girl we love, Gina’s good friend Tenley, is part of the picture. She is support crew for the Truco Trick Riders.

All weekend as things unfolded I was aware life is very good. I also was rather fascinated by the various things happening, and the way my identity was affirmed.

Over the course of a few days I was a cook, that felt pretty normal and I was a ranch wife, pulling on my shitty boots. I was an experienced minister making a rehearsal happen fairly seamlessly. I found the 8 year old girl in me alive and well as I remembered how much fun it was to play with my Barbies. In 1976 I felt so smart when I made a Barbie bed from a Kleenex box. My style of Mom-ing was clearly in play when I just knew that boy of mine must have something fresh and hot to put in his tummy. How would he know I love him if I didn’t give him a boost to start his tricky day and weekend. I was a human wrapped up in beauty, as a thoughtfully planned wedding unfolded, in a raw and achingly beautiful location, in a place where our very own cows were in the distance. I was a wife as I danced with my husband, easy in his arms. I was the Mom of a rodeo contestant, anxious to see him succeed, for his sake more than my own. I was so dang proud of his maturity through all that the day held. I am crazy about that kid. Today I had a new role. I have had a new girl in my world for many months. But today I got to watch her do some of the things that make her pretty amazing. I stood with my heart in my mouth, proud of another woman’s daughter, delighting in her, happy to cheer on a new but important part of our family.

Life is especially good when the days are so vivid. When you get the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you are doing what you are supposed to be doing.

Courage

A few days ago I conducted a funeral. That meant looking at old files for inspiration and liturgy I might find helpful. I got re-reading a sermon contained in one of those files. I loved what it contained. There was little snippets of story, a sense of world history, and ultimately a few lessons I could use. I thought maybe a few others would like to read it and asked the families permission to share it here on the blog. Its not my best writing because it is not meant to be read but presented. That means that things like vocal speed and tone would vary at certain points to get the words across as well as possible. That doesn’t convey in the written speech. The stories are here though and I hope you enjoy hearing about Bridie and her courage as much as I did.

Here is a wee summary of the person being celebrated here. Bridie Sawyer was a resident of Carnduff who lived to the age of 101 years. She died just over a year ago. She was born in Ireland and came to Canada as a war-bride. She had two children and remained in the Carnduff area for the remainer of her days. Last week we watched one of her great grandaughters graduate from high school here in Carnduff.

Here is the sermon:

There are many remarkable stories within Bridie’s life, the one I heard that touched me greatly was her decision to marry Mervyn after very little time available to spend together, and move to Canada in the aftermath of the war. If I had to put one word to that it would be courage. I have wondered if perhaps she was naïve, but she was 24 when these decisions were made, having already moved from her home in Ireland at age 17 to train for and experience several years of war time nursing in Edinburgh, she had been exposed to the realities of life, so I think it is safe to say, she had courage. Was it a bus or a train that first removed her from all that she knew? I have a mental picture of her petite 25 year old self, eyes sparkling, bag in hand, well-dressed, alone, making that momentous first step up onto a bus or train. What was stirring in her heart?

Hopes and dreams and love likely pushed Bridie forward up those steps, but surely none of that would have been possible without the presence of her courage.

As I thought about Bridie’s story it struck me that she acted like she knew that what she had within her was greater than the challenges she would have to face. Having reached the age of 101, the matriarch of four generations of family who stirred love and pride in her, with a nimble mind that defied stereotypes of old age, having travelled many places, well, it would seem she was right.

What did she have within her?

One of the first things said about Bridie when we met to discuss the service was that she was “a fiery little Irishmen and she never lost it.” What did Bridie have within her? Genetics. How she was made and the culture which formed her. So words like fiery, stubborn, bossy, are sometimes used to describe her. These qualities can sometimes rub the wrong way but they also bring with them a certain power to tackle hard things. The genetic code in her and however her culture shaped her informed very clearly what Bridie brought to the world and to the challenges before her.

Bridie had faith. Raised in a Catholic home and clearly maintaining that identity for most of the years of her life she was exposed to many religious teachings. In Ireland was Bridie exposed to Scripture in a way that fuelled her courage? Did any of these teachings come to mind as she faced challenging work in Edinburgh? Were there words that swam in the back of her mind as she stepped onto the boat that would carry her across the ocean?

Words like these from the earliest part of the Bible….

Deuteronomy 31:8 “And the Lord, He is the one who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

Or from the prophet Isaiah at Chapter 41:10

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Psalms 27:1-3

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

²When the wicked advance against me
    to devour^[^a^] me,
it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.
³Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.

Psalms 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though its waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling.

Zephaniah 3:16-17 In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Do not fear; Zion, let not your hands be weak. The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

We recently had an excellent sermon offered here at the church, I benefitted from hearing our minister Susan name the fact that statements like “have faith not fear” are not helpful, kind’ve trite and just really not enough. To combat that she offered a quick trip through key Scriptures that spanned the entirety of the Bible, it was clear that the reason we can forge ahead without fear dominating us is because of the way God is, promising to be with us, you get the feeling from hearing the span of Scripture that God is not interested in isolation and distance, but in sharing strength through being present with us humans. Its mysterious, hard to quantify and perhaps easily dismissed, but then you hear stories like Bridie’s, where something is stirring in her heart, maybe simply the back of her mind, and it seems like what was stirring was, “go on, you can do this, I am here.”

So Bridie had genetics and faith messages stirring within her. What else?

I am wondering about the example set by her own Mom. I know so little of her, obviously, but there are some facts, like the ability….strength….courage to raise eight children amid what ever 1920s Ireland held, I understand it was not easy. Then there are some stories. As a ranch wife myself I found it stunning and hilarious to hear the story of Bridie’s visit to Ireland when her Mom was 78 years old. When Bridie arrived at the farm her Mom was walking down the road herding cows and knitting at the same time. Surely one of the biggest truths of that moment is confidence. Her Mom’s confidence in her abilities in the situation. If this was the way Anne McBride tackled life when Bridie was young she surely had an example to fill her mind as she herself approached the moments that required confidence and courage.

Our days are not easy. Inflation, grief, climate change, conflict near and far, pandemic recovery, more grief, and in the midst of all this rapidly rising incidences of anxiety and depression. It kind’ve feels like a balance is tipping, like what is beyond us is becoming greater than what is within us. I wonder if Bridie’s inner space has encouragement or hope to offer us. How did what she had within translate for us?

The good news for sure is that many of you carry much of the same genetic code that fueled Bridie! Her feisty, undefeatable Irish spirit, sometimes known in stubbornness is, I have been told, alive and well in family gathered here. Her action oriented get down to work way of being is available through genetics and of course her example. What do you feel Bridie passed on to you? If you don’t share Bridie’s genetics, her friends, what is the gift within your genetics to help you tackle what is big before you?

With regards to faith I have no idea exactly what was consciously and subconsciously working its power in Bridie’s life experiences, however, it would seem the promised presence of God was hers to know. It is there for us too. One thing that the work of Jesus accomplished was to make clear that no one is outside the circle of God’s care and concern. Noone. Any who seek the assurance and power of God’s presence in their life can ask for it. Seek and you will find. It may be quiet. It may be known in humble ways. Love and compassion are usually part of the package. It’s a real source of guidance and grounding in the chaotic life so common today. It can be a comfort in the midst of grief. There is no price or qualifications required. Do not be afraid, for I am with you.

Bridie had examples of strength in her life. Is it possible that moving forward, as we tackle what life holds, and seek to be filled within, that Bridie herself can be an example to us, fuelling our efforts. Just like there was a story about Anne McBride that offered us a mental picture, there is a story about Bridie. One day Colleen came home from work to find that Bridie had been over cleaning, as she often did. Bridie was proud of herself. She had managed to clean underneath the pool table. The pool table which had been meticulously placed and leveled to make it even had been shifted around to get things really clean underneath. How did Bridie, a tiny woman not exactly young at this point, move a table both bulky and heavy? With strategy. By sitting with her back to the wall, and pushing on the legs of that table until she moved them as far as she needed to. She saw the challenge, she knew her limits and her strengths, she understood some tricks and she rose to the challenge. As we face the hurdle ahead, whether its grief or other things, we would do well to follow Bridie’s example, assess the challenge, estimate our limits, press into our strengths, put a few tricks into action, and act.

“What she had within her was greater than the challenges she would have to face.”

I have highlighted the three obvious things within her that came to mind having heard only a part of the story of Bridie Sawyer’s life. Of course, there is much much more. The joy of the coming hours and days might be in reflecting on and sharing and recording your own thoughts and stories that reflect who Bridie was and what she had within her. May that give you peace, broaden your understanding of her and yourself, and remind you of God’s presence. Amen

Playfulness

Almost a month ago my friend Deb and I took off for a few nights away together. We had a really good time. I mostly holed up in my room and worked on the book I am creating with Liz Griffin. Deb was a free spirit, on the loose in Minot, North Dakota, enjoying museums and shopping. We swam every evening and ate ice cream every day. Our time was full of delights.

As our days unfolded I found myself thinking about how playful my friend is. We have been friends for 46 years, somehow over those 46 years I had not put all the pieces together, or allowed myself to see, that my friend Deb has allowed her sense of play to touch her daily life in a multitude of ways.

After I got back home I settled back into normal life and while I did I thought about what I had really noticed about Deb. I pondered its source for her. I smiled at my memories. I decided that I wanted to do a tribute to her and her playfulness on Facebook. I got about half done writing it on my phone when it rang. After answering the call and returning to Facebook, I found the post I was working on had disappeared. Being completed emotionally challenged by the experience of frustration I gave up. Would I have more time another day? Maybe. I didn’t get to it but after a while I decided that a longer look at playfulness maybe could safely be attempted on the blog. I got started. I looked up a definition of playfulness and found these words in a Psychology Today article.

Playfulness is, in part, an openness to being a fool, which is a combination of not worrying about competence, not being self-important, not taking norms as sacred and finding ambiguity and double edges a source of wisdom and delight. So, positively, the playful attitude involves openness to surprise, openness to being a fool, openness to self-construction or reconstruction and to construction or reconstruction of the ‘worlds’ we inhabit playfully.

Bernard L. De Koven in Psychology Today

I have a picture, somewhere, of my friend Deb standing at my parents front door, dressed in her halloween costume. She was about 12 years old. She was dressed in a white clown suit with big colorful pom poms as the buttons and clown makeup, at least that is how I remember that picture. I have seen her in other clown pictures many times over the years. She has embraced what the above definition starts with, “playfulness…an openess to being a fool.” Deb has adopted an alter ego, a clown named Minerva whom she embodies occasionally at the long term care home where she is on the leadership team. Deb’s position, to the outside eye, is among those of highest status in the place, if you care about status. Deb has other things on her mind. She is absolutely passionate about creating quality of life for the elders in her midst at Sherbrooke Community Centre. One of her strategies is to spread joy, Minerva is a part of that. I was stunned to see this picture on Deb’s facebook when I was snooping there for clown pictures, Minerva even has her own nametag!! Her workplace takes her very seriously!

As our girls trip drew closer I was amused by Deb’s posts on Facebook. She had a countdown timer on her phone and enjoyed posting screenshots and her joy that our girls trip was at days and then hours away after being weeks and months from us at the start. I thought, “Deb, the way you are hyping this people are going to think we are going to Hawaii, we are only going to Minot!” Perhaps Deb appears a fool to be so thrilled by a place where we have been for daytrips so many times over the years. (Our ranch is only 90 miles from Minot.) She didn’t care, she was excited and she was telling the world and I am inspired by that.

While we were gone she delighted me with her joy. I was so friggin weary after an intense calving season. I really was mostly hunkered down and diving deep into my own world, I was happy but quiet and serious. In contrast to that Deb’s adventures had her returning to our place with a jubilant presence. Our place was a lovely 2 bedroom – 2 bathroom hotel room at Staybridge Suites. Many times Deb burst through the door, prompting me to amble out of my room, with much joy Deb shared her shopping finds and her pictures. I couldn’t help but be caught up in the joy of discovery. It was a testament to Deb’s depth and the wisdom she holds that as much as she played the fool she could switch gears in an instant and listen thoughtfully as I read her what I was writing. Her encouragement was very helpful to me. Her willingness to be moved by everything she encountered on this trip brought a whole level of positivity to our time that was already set to be pretty great.

I am analytical by nature. I know alot about Deb’s story. Both these things mean that the “why” question comes pretty quickly to me. Why is the picture below and the playfulness that sources it so completely natural to Deb?

She has just emerged from a global pandemic as a senior leader in a long term care home. She has just guided her youngest child through her grade 12 year. She has been supporting her husband through a career change in recent months. She is a woman in middle age. All these circumstances could make a person hard to be with. In addition she didn’t start out life from a pampered existence. As long as I have known her she has been shaped by the need to work hard, on herself and among her people. And from all that, she lands on my doorstep with a smile on her face, generosity and joy in her heart, love for my whole family and a thirst for adventure in her soul. I have a few theories about the why of this. I think in part its her wiring. She has an amazing brain extremely well suited to the place she works and its guiding norms. She is creative and flexible in her nature. However she has made choices. She kept a gratitude log on facebook a number of years back that spanned hundreds of days. Recently she has been logging her joy. Deb has practiced noticing and finding joy in everyday things, she has learned the power of gratitude. From the outside looking in it seems that every post has been like a seed that is blooming joy in her. She has also embraced meditation as a way to care for her inner life. Surely there are other things at play too. Deb has a very playful spouse and pets, this is something I relate to and I know makes a difference. Mostly though, I think Deb has made a choice, and there is joy blooming in her life, with a beautiful fragrance of playfulness because of her choices.

There is alot more that could be said. That definition above was lengthy and connected with more that I think about. Perhaps this is enough. I want to close with this picture that makes me smile. It was taken back at the ranch on our last night of our time together. It catches Deb’s animated expressions. It also catches the charcuterie board we were feasting on. We did charcuterie every night for supper on our trip. It seems to be our comfort zone. When we were girls we would haul the black and white 10″ TV to my bedroom or to the loft in our garage. We would get a plate of cheese, crackers and pickles organized and we would watch our show, “Dallas”. It feels like a blessing to have the chance to have a friend to share this much of life with and for that friend to be a source of joy amid everything.

There is a P.S. to this post. I sent Deb a copy of what I had written, looking for her permission to use the pictures and share the writing. She gave me the O.K. and sent two pictures. One is the halloween photo I mentioned earlier, I think she was actually older than 12. I see I remembered the details of the suit wrongly. She looks great though! She also sent the countdown timer to our next get away. She is well aware of the power of gratitude and embracing joy, it also turns out she grasps the power of anticipation really well!

I am betting those are my Dad’s shoes she borrowed for her costume.

The Days of our Lives

Its June 25th and that means that my girl Gina has a birthday today. 21 years ago today I became a Mom. Of course there were plenty of hard moments but the thing I find myself thinking about lately is how fun it was. Gina, Jill and Morgan have brought so much zest to our lives. Here is a picture of our Gina at work this week at Medieval Times. Happy Birthday Gina!

This next picture includes Gina many moons ago. It is our whole family in 2008 when we visited Cody, Wyoming.

Last week Russ, Morgan and I returned to Cody. As you can probably imagine by the small boy peeking over the hitching post above, Morgan doesn’t remember Cody. We remembered it as a town with great cowboy museums and shops, Russ felt strongly that now was the right time to return so we made it happen. We tried to re-enact some of the pictures we remember taking the first time. This was the best we could do at “Old Trail Town.”

It was a trip full of lots of heart stirring moments. It was a priority for Russ to spend some time at the site of the Battle of Little Bighorn. The landscapes where the battle took place were a big part of our experience this time. The boys pondered a lot of information as we made our way around the loop. It was very sobering. I tried to get my head around the fact that such battle scenes and loss of life had happened in a place that was stunningly beautiful with loud birdsong as we encountered it. The native warriors prevailed against Custer’s invasion of their land and way of life, at least in this battle they prevailed, and the nature of their victory was well explored.

This was not our first trip to the museum, cemetery and battlefield. We had stopped there 18 years ago when my friend’s wedding took us to Denver. We tried to reenact a picture from that trip too. We didn’t pose just right and we were one block of cement off our original picture but here is the 2023 version and the 2005 version.

Our time in museums gave us some good things to contemplate. The picture below contains something that really struck me.

When we got home our cows, dogs and cat were in fine shape thanks to Ron, Ralph, Sheila, Rayna and Laurie. More work was waiting and suddenly its Sunday. This was a very big day for our family. We said good-bye to our minister, Morgan was baptized and confirmed and Russell was confirmed. Gina attended the Pride parade in Toronto and Jill is in Regina where she has a practice for the musical she is in at the end of August. I am the Mom with my head spinning in the midst of all that.

I love this picture of our minister Susan. Her hands are almost glowing. Those hands have done much holy work in our midst, blessed alot of bread and babies and today it was my boy who received the holy water of baptism through Susan’s caring hands.

This next picture is a very serious moment but was laced with humor, because of who Morgan and Susan are and the history that they share, Morgan was little more than four months old when Susan came to us.

A laying on of hands was part of the confirmation of faith process. Morgan asked Grandma Shirley and I to be part of this. I am honestly not certain about posting solemn and sacred moments like this. Yet……I cherish all the love depicted here and I don’t want to forget it. A member of the congregation took these pictures and shared them with me.

Russell was confirmed wearing this shirt that is very special to him. It was made for him by one of our people, our cousin Jenn, who carries her Dad’s Dene heritage with pride and generosity of spirit. It is a ribbon shirt.

Our morning finished with a delicious potluck and a dizzying amount of sweets as options for dessert. I took this picture of Grandma Shirley. She is a bright light in our lives.

This last picture from a genuine old time saloon in Cody features a big mirror and invites me to offer a reflection. What do I see looking back at me after a week like we have known? It has to be that the growth and change that is part of life is a marvel and it is holy. I am humbled and thrilled and laid low by it.

Anecdotes

Last week Russell and I went to Regina to accomplish a few different things. A main hope was to find a possible piece of equipment for our haying work. As it turned out we are looking for a very rare thing and of the four dealerships we visited only two even took our contact information down. It was a little bit of a downer.

A little something happened enroute that I find myself mulling over and not sure of the significance of. We stopped on the side of the highway before we got to Regina. This is common for us, we often switch drivers at this point as I am the city driver of our duo, Russ does most of the highway miles. As we went around the back of the car to switch sides I initiated a hug with Russell. From an outside perspective I find this a bit weird of me. I grew up in a family with a warm environment but still we mostly only hugged at the airport or other places where significant hellos or good-byes were said. However, I find alot of comfort in Russell’s embrace, so as we physically drew near to each other rounding the back end of the car it seemed a quite natural thing to do. As we hugged, me facing the highway and he facing the ditch, my chin on his shoulder and his chin on mine, we both spoke at the same time. He said, “I can see a fire way over there.” while I was saying, “huh, someone is land-rolling over there.” We got back in the car, feeling amused that even as we were engaged in a hug, we were both scanning the landscape. Russ had this theory about our words, that people of the land are always surveying their surroundings. There are surely several reasons for this but I know one big why. I am thinking about the many stories where the alertness of neighbors has meant that we, our land, our buildings, our animals and our machinery have received what was needed when we have needed it. Sometimes its our eyes that help our neighbors. Just yesterday Russ and Morgan were joined by a neighbor coming down the road and together they put another neighbor’s wandering cows back in their pasture. Scanning your surroundings is part of being a good neighbor, an acknowledgement that we don’t have enough eyes to monitor all that we are responsible for, our neighbors eyes are important in the mix. We have so many good neighbor stories, it is a big part of what makes being a steward of land and creatures possible.

Another amusing thing of that day happened when we dropped into the mall to make a return for a friend. We were in a woman’s clothing store that had some sales on. Russell said, “Kathy, why don’t you try something on.” I have not been feeling myself for quite a while and at times like that I think maybe its not much fun to try on clothes or even to know what to look for. I am in a bit of an identity shift perhaps, in times like that, what clothes do you need? I find I still want to dress like I did in the late 90s. I had a good collection of vests. Anyways….I found myself responding to Russell’s invitation to shop longer and try things on by saying this, “nah, no need for new clothes, lets go tractor shopping.” It was not lost on me that I was speaking words that I never expected myself to utter and I do feel that I let the sisterhood of farm wives down. I really was not that thrilled about implement shopping (we are looking for a self propelled haybine not a tractor, but it was the word tractor that fell out of my mouth in that moment.) I think I just had no space in my brain for clothes shopping. Its fun to take note of the times that words fall out of us that we never expected to be the source of.

Part of our time in Regina included a trip to Starbucks to see Jill at work. As we came up to the till Russ told the clerk that he wanted a black coffee and a hug from that girl over there. The cashier looked taken aback, which was partly Russell’s goal I am certain. I piped in, “thats our daughter!” You could see relief come over the clerk’s face. We proceeded to enjoy moments of back and forth with the cashier and Jill. When we sat down to enjoy our drinks a woman sitting near us said, “is that your daughter?” When we affirmed that yes it sure was, she said, “she’s good.” It meant alot to us to hear that. Jill later told us that she is a regular, I guess that means she knows what she is talking about. A parent’s heart is bolstered at times like that.

Last Thursday we did something really interesting, a little bit challenging and quite rewarding when we exchanged favors with ranch family friends of ours. Our part of the exchange was to bring lunch to their branding. There were 35 mouths to feed. Russell was my catering assistant. Morgan was on the roping team for the branding. I have never attended a branding before, we do things differently at our ranch. It was interesting to see how the large scale action unfolds. It was rewarding to feed a very polite and thankful crew and see in the eyes of our friends deep gratitude for what we were able to do for them. The fun part that we keep talking about was that I made a slapdash broccoli salad in the last minutes of my preparations. I threw together the ingredients and with no sense that I had created anything special we headed out the door. It was a hit. Sitting around afterwards people were talking about it. Zany things were said, perhaps not just right for this blog post, but we are still smiling about them.

One last anecdote to round out this post. Morgan has been burning the candle at both ends lately. He has been schooling, ranching and getting a few fun nights with friends in as well as being a cowboy every chance he gets. He has become quite exhausted and I feel bad about it. Recently I found him flaked out on our bed, sleeping so soundly that I could not rouse him. So I did what any woman would do who misses their little kids. I washed his face and read him two children’s books. By the end of the second book he did respond to the ridiculous duck on a bike with a pretty teenager-y expression, but otherwise, I read uninterrupted. It felt good.

Thats all. Just a few little nuggets from the days we have known.