*As I hit the publish button on this its been a month since I wrote it. I worked hard on it and then kindv’e forgot about it. I woke up this morning thinking about writing and I remembered it.
I am in a library in Toronto as I start this. Its Mother’s Day, I am happy and tired. Gina and I just rode the Subway for an hour as we headed back to the theatre where she has joined others to strike the set after closing their show last night.
As Gina and I rehashed our experiences and conversations of yesterday we got so engrossed we missed our subway stop. I am smiling as I think back on the moment we realized that.
There are two distinct angles that have come to mind as I think about mother’s day this year. The first came as I sat in the theatre yesterday pondering all the things said to me about Gina as a day among the cast unfolded. Gina was the choreographer for a community theatre production of a musical called “Urinetown.” Her work with the cast received rave reviews and meant several conversations that resembled a verbal tug of war with G in the middle. Them saying, “we are keeping her!” and me asserting, “but we want her back in Saskatchewan!” What we her family want is truly irrelevant, she has created an ever deepening life for herself here and it is exciting to be on the sidelines. The feedback on Gina’s work included three dimensions, it was about the choreography she created, her teaching style, and comments on her character. Many told me, “you did a good job.” I told one lady, “who Gina is is 65% attributed to Russell, her Dad, he is really something.”
All of that led me to a fresh way to experience Mother’s Day 2026, I am calling it a mystical lense. I sat in the theatre yesterday pondering that because Russell Bayliss and I found each other, as unlikely as that seemed, because we chose to risk love and commitment, because we chose to risk bringing new life into this world, because my body nourished and birthed this human, Gina Bayliss is here. On this particular Mother’s Day weekend, a theatre company full of people of all ages (more than half of them school teachers) living out their love of theatre, balancing their busy daily lives, managing their hopes and insecurities, this company was, it seems to me, empowered by the ways of this fiery red headed cowgirl from Saskatchewan. Gina took her place among a creative team determined to bring humor and life to a script that reflected a serious story. She took her place in a company culture that embraced the contributions of every person who wanted to be involved. With an open heart she brought her Mama to the cast party, giving me my first experience of a party like this. There I listened to a thank you speech to Gina that stunned me. If Russell had been there he quite literally would have had no buttons left on his shirt. (On the prairies we speak of feeling so proud that ones chest expands to a point the buttons on your shirt can’t stay attached.) Because Russell Bayliss and I stumbled into and through parenthood we touched and enhanced the experiences of a bunch of people so far from our own world. I find this truly mysterious and it adds to my feeling that my life can make a difference in the world. The most challenging thing I have ever embarked on, while giving me so many wonderful moments, is now bringing goodness to a much broader circle. We are blessed that Gina uses her cell phone and includes us in the ups and downs, highs and lows of her days. It makes these mountaintop moments even richer. This year I am suddenly aware that motherhood, while an incredibly private journey is one with very public implications, we care well for the world when we raise humans who have gifts they share.
Grief will always be a part of Mother’s Day, its unavoidable. This is my 6th time through without my Mom. As Gina and I whipped through a mall enroute to the theatre I found myself saying to Gina, “I wish Nana was alive to see what you are doing, she would be so proud.” Mom died in the fall of 2020, a few days before her death I asked her to make a video greeting for Gina who was far away at theatre school and unable to come say goodbye. Weak but firm Mom stated her hope and confidence in Gina. I am so glad I asked for this video. Its in my mind as I see Gina discovering her teaching skills and her joy in creativity and building relationships, all things that were close to Mom’s heart. As Gina and I talked about these things I said “there is so much going on that would have delighted Nana.” So as I settled into this library chair I found myself thinking about mother’s day through the lens of “what would my Mom be celebrating for her family on this day if she were here?”
She would be celebrating the delight that her great grand child brings to his parents as Mother’s Day and his first birthday share space.
She would be standing in awe as she gazed on her genetics at play in the person of Morgan Bayliss. She would be chagrined by how much he swears but delight in his humor and warmth.
She would be pleased by what seems to be savvy financial planning. Jill is going to school in Regina for several years as she gets her education degree. We have been able, thanks to the beef markets, to buy a condo where she can live and have a few perks while not throwing money into rent. This is a privilege, I feel that deeply. It feels really promising. My Mom was an educator, she would be a huge fan of the steps Jill is taking as she pursues her education degree. Jill and I have some days set aside to paint walls this coming week. I am looking forward to tackling this side by side. Her caring presence is good for the soul.
I think my Mom would be in awe of Russell . Generosity was something my Mom modeled for her kids and she longed for us to follow in her footsteps. Russell has boundaries, but very few, he shares of himself until he is running on empty, he gets refuelled and then jumps right back in, making what he possesses available for others to share. Last week we had visitors come to ride, friends of friends, English was not their first language, the team followed Russell’s example and flexed to give them a great experience as they ponied them through the calving pastures. Russ was excited to share space with these friends of friends, he wouldn’t dream of taking the money they offered. Mom would approve.
I am not sure what my Mom would celebrate about me as this Mother’s Day season settles in around me. Maybe she would celebrate my resolve to live the way she modeled, which is very entwined with the faith we share.
I like these two lenses of mystery and celebration for observing mother’s day but they don’t address, at all, the very hard reality that many have to deal with dissapointment and hurt as Mother’s Day buzz fills these days. I never want to be dismissive or insensitive about that. There are no words to say that make any of that better. There are no words exactly but when in person I take comfort in the power of listening and companionship in dark places, offering that is part of my calling. In a written setting like this all I can do is convey what feels true and hopeful. Things like our living does have an impact on others and its thrilling when you hear about it. And…. When its hard to celebrate ourselves, cause we just don’t see it clearly, we might try seeing ourselves through the eyes of another, one who brings grace and love to our story. It might be our mothers and maybe not. They may be alive and maybe not. They might know us well and maybe not. What would the most gracious person you know say to celebrate and uphold you?
As Far As The Eye Can See 