Grace

Over a month ago I started this blog, the timing in it may seem odd as you read it.

Our boy Morgan is not a boy anymore, that seems to be getting quite official in the days after his 18th birthday, sliding into his grade 12 graduation. 

In the midst of the storm that is created by the converging of very special days, calving season weariness and my personal limits as a woman inching closer to 60, I received a gift of grace.  Our friends Patrick and Jenn were happy to host a joint graduation party for Morgan and his friend Rhett, Patrick’s son.  It is hard to fully relate how much of a relief this was for Russ and I.  We want to celebrate Morgan with all the bells and whistles he deserves but for a few reasons we are not doing well with getting that kind of action going.   This party, at their place, with overall co-ordination by Pat was such a help to Russ and I.  I have a few pictures.

We had this cake made at the Oxbow Co-op.  It was delicious!
We have many shared friends with Griff and his circle, the party made sense, but we also were able to invite folks like Bonnie and Roy.  They have been a part of Morgan’s life always, and have helped fill the holes left by our losses.
Morg and Griff cut the cake, Grandma Shirley absolutely loved watching them tackle this.  “No two pieces were the same size!” she said.  We agreed that was good, for varying appetites.
Old friends seeing one another was a splendid part of the night.

I learned something about entertaining this night.  Pat was organized and relaxed and it made a great setting.   I usually try to pack too much in when I entertain,  guests find me rushing, perhaps flustered, maybe quite readily inclined to swear under my breath at the slightest hiccup or frustration.   Pat did things a little differently than I do, this contributed to the relaxed feeling.  Once the food was laid out he invited people to eat whenever they were ready.  This meant no lines and also a sense that the meal wasn’t the main event, being together was.  I got the message, “lets enjoy being together and when you are hungry, there is food over there.”  I can say food wasn’t the main event but it had been beautifully prepared, and there was abundance.  The smoked meat and salads were an event, just not the main event.  That’s how it felt to me.  The main event was our boys, our pride in them, and our desire to celebrate them with those who love them almost as much as we do. 

I am thankful to Pat and Jen, they gave me an experience of warm relaxed hospitality and celebration and also significantly helped Russ and I with what was on our plate.

In the days since I started this blog both boys have officially graduated and summer is here.  Here are the graduates on their special days….

Morgan receives his diploma from the vice principal who happens to be his good buddies Mom, Mrs. Wolf.
This was Griff’s grad day and Pat is seen helping with the finishing touches on the outfit.
At the parade held after the Carnduff grad ceremonies it was getting a bit chilly, here Jen and Clare are ready and waiting for the floats to go by. I think they were both pretty proud of Morgan but especially Jen. She has been a major friend, supporter and source of fun to Morgan perhaps for as long as he can remember.

Grace was the word that came to mind as the summary theme and title for this blog because Morgan, Russ and I didn’t really do our share in the work for the party that Pat and Jen held. There was no tallying of hours spent in prep or dollars spent on food, but if there had been I know it would show that we did not do our share. There was one rule we all seemed to grasp, “do what you can.” Maybe there was another rule, one that I had trouble grasping, “don’t worry.” Maybe this is what it means to live in a state of grace more generally speaking. We don’t have to be superheroes, who are remarkably efficient, flexible and impressive, we just have to do what we can, and surround ourselves with others who are doing what they can, we give and receive, and trust that will be enough, that we are enough and we don’t need to worry about that. Graduation 2025 held a good lesson for me, it was a lesson that lines up with my faith but I have a hard time really living and believing. It is, “just do what you can Kathy, receive from others and me – God, don’t worry if you are enough, you are.”

Leave a Comment