joy – As Far As The Eye Can See

Playfulness

Almost a month ago my friend Deb and I took off for a few nights away together. We had a really good time. I mostly holed up in my room and worked on the book I am creating with Liz Griffin. Deb was a free spirit, on the loose in Minot, North Dakota, enjoying museums and shopping. We swam every evening and ate ice cream every day. Our time was full of delights.

As our days unfolded I found myself thinking about how playful my friend is. We have been friends for 46 years, somehow over those 46 years I had not put all the pieces together, or allowed myself to see, that my friend Deb has allowed her sense of play to touch her daily life in a multitude of ways.

After I got back home I settled back into normal life and while I did I thought about what I had really noticed about Deb. I pondered its source for her. I smiled at my memories. I decided that I wanted to do a tribute to her and her playfulness on Facebook. I got about half done writing it on my phone when it rang. After answering the call and returning to Facebook, I found the post I was working on had disappeared. Being completed emotionally challenged by the experience of frustration I gave up. Would I have more time another day? Maybe. I didn’t get to it but after a while I decided that a longer look at playfulness maybe could safely be attempted on the blog. I got started. I looked up a definition of playfulness and found these words in a Psychology Today article.

Playfulness is, in part, an openness to being a fool, which is a combination of not worrying about competence, not being self-important, not taking norms as sacred and finding ambiguity and double edges a source of wisdom and delight. So, positively, the playful attitude involves openness to surprise, openness to being a fool, openness to self-construction or reconstruction and to construction or reconstruction of the ‘worlds’ we inhabit playfully.

Bernard L. De Koven in Psychology Today

I have a picture, somewhere, of my friend Deb standing at my parents front door, dressed in her halloween costume. She was about 12 years old. She was dressed in a white clown suit with big colorful pom poms as the buttons and clown makeup, at least that is how I remember that picture. I have seen her in other clown pictures many times over the years. She has embraced what the above definition starts with, “playfulness…an openess to being a fool.” Deb has adopted an alter ego, a clown named Minerva whom she embodies occasionally at the long term care home where she is on the leadership team. Deb’s position, to the outside eye, is among those of highest status in the place, if you care about status. Deb has other things on her mind. She is absolutely passionate about creating quality of life for the elders in her midst at Sherbrooke Community Centre. One of her strategies is to spread joy, Minerva is a part of that. I was stunned to see this picture on Deb’s facebook when I was snooping there for clown pictures, Minerva even has her own nametag!! Her workplace takes her very seriously!

As our girls trip drew closer I was amused by Deb’s posts on Facebook. She had a countdown timer on her phone and enjoyed posting screenshots and her joy that our girls trip was at days and then hours away after being weeks and months from us at the start. I thought, “Deb, the way you are hyping this people are going to think we are going to Hawaii, we are only going to Minot!” Perhaps Deb appears a fool to be so thrilled by a place where we have been for daytrips so many times over the years. (Our ranch is only 90 miles from Minot.) She didn’t care, she was excited and she was telling the world and I am inspired by that.

While we were gone she delighted me with her joy. I was so friggin weary after an intense calving season. I really was mostly hunkered down and diving deep into my own world, I was happy but quiet and serious. In contrast to that Deb’s adventures had her returning to our place with a jubilant presence. Our place was a lovely 2 bedroom – 2 bathroom hotel room at Staybridge Suites. Many times Deb burst through the door, prompting me to amble out of my room, with much joy Deb shared her shopping finds and her pictures. I couldn’t help but be caught up in the joy of discovery. It was a testament to Deb’s depth and the wisdom she holds that as much as she played the fool she could switch gears in an instant and listen thoughtfully as I read her what I was writing. Her encouragement was very helpful to me. Her willingness to be moved by everything she encountered on this trip brought a whole level of positivity to our time that was already set to be pretty great.

I am analytical by nature. I know alot about Deb’s story. Both these things mean that the “why” question comes pretty quickly to me. Why is the picture below and the playfulness that sources it so completely natural to Deb?

She has just emerged from a global pandemic as a senior leader in a long term care home. She has just guided her youngest child through her grade 12 year. She has been supporting her husband through a career change in recent months. She is a woman in middle age. All these circumstances could make a person hard to be with. In addition she didn’t start out life from a pampered existence. As long as I have known her she has been shaped by the need to work hard, on herself and among her people. And from all that, she lands on my doorstep with a smile on her face, generosity and joy in her heart, love for my whole family and a thirst for adventure in her soul. I have a few theories about the why of this. I think in part its her wiring. She has an amazing brain extremely well suited to the place she works and its guiding norms. She is creative and flexible in her nature. However she has made choices. She kept a gratitude log on facebook a number of years back that spanned hundreds of days. Recently she has been logging her joy. Deb has practiced noticing and finding joy in everyday things, she has learned the power of gratitude. From the outside looking in it seems that every post has been like a seed that is blooming joy in her. She has also embraced meditation as a way to care for her inner life. Surely there are other things at play too. Deb has a very playful spouse and pets, this is something I relate to and I know makes a difference. Mostly though, I think Deb has made a choice, and there is joy blooming in her life, with a beautiful fragrance of playfulness because of her choices.

There is alot more that could be said. That definition above was lengthy and connected with more that I think about. Perhaps this is enough. I want to close with this picture that makes me smile. It was taken back at the ranch on our last night of our time together. It catches Deb’s animated expressions. It also catches the charcuterie board we were feasting on. We did charcuterie every night for supper on our trip. It seems to be our comfort zone. When we were girls we would haul the black and white 10″ TV to my bedroom or to the loft in our garage. We would get a plate of cheese, crackers and pickles organized and we would watch our show, “Dallas”. It feels like a blessing to have the chance to have a friend to share this much of life with and for that friend to be a source of joy amid everything.

There is a P.S. to this post. I sent Deb a copy of what I had written, looking for her permission to use the pictures and share the writing. She gave me the O.K. and sent two pictures. One is the halloween photo I mentioned earlier, I think she was actually older than 12. I see I remembered the details of the suit wrongly. She looks great though! She also sent the countdown timer to our next get away. She is well aware of the power of gratitude and embracing joy, it also turns out she grasps the power of anticipation really well!

I am betting those are my Dad’s shoes she borrowed for her costume.

Day 15 Calving Season 2022 – Happy Easter 🦋

Happy Easter to you. It’s a different kind of Easter for us due to weather. Things are going well despite the 6″ of predicted snow we are currently receiving. These are unusual days that’s for sure.

In 2020 when Covid was a new reality and I was still actively ministering we hosted a sunrise service at the calving pasture and cowboy cottage. Using Facebook we shared that with the congregations and with our Facebook friends. This picture was taken at that time.

I am a bit sentimental about that day and that experience. It was really special. It was on my mind as this Easter has rolled around. So this morning I headed out to check the heifers with Russell and then went to the calving pasture with him for his first check of the day.

When we walked through the heifers we found that “Grill” had her baby overnight. I gave her some space and have a pretty fuzzy picture as a result.

In going for the check with Russ I think I just wanted to see what it was going to feel like out there. I decided to make a video of our tour through the cows. It is about 12 minutes, I divided it into 3 sections. It is not exciting but like yesterday’s video it is an experience of nature. If you like cows, or you like Russell, or you are a bit curious about ranch stuff we invite you to take an early morning Easter walk with us.

Video #1

Video # 2

Video #3

I think what I noticed at the calving yard was a feeling of joy busting through. Maybe because of Russell’s bond with the cows, my own sense of friendship with the cows and the names that mean alot to us, the people they remind us of. It was cold and snowy but friendship transformed the walk.

When we got back the snow started falling heavier. We had a cow calf mystery to deal with, involving “Maui”, and regular chores to do. It all conspired to make us decide we were not going to Church. Yet another aspect of a different kind of Easter.

Here are a bunch of silly photos that gave us joy today. Our animals are really there for us.

When it’s phone time, Coffee dog has her distraction too.

We Saskatchewan folks and many everywhere are pretty weary, so many circumstances have been hard for almost everyone for a long time. We need the truth of Easter. The joy that busts through clouds. The life that defeats death and despair. The love that heals hatred and division. The power that banishes fear. I am so very thankful to God for the promise and the delivery of all that. May we all have a blessed Easter.🌤💒🌷🦋🕊

Carnduff for the Win

Sitting among the spectators in the Carnduff school gym on Tuesday night it was incredibly obvious that something very special was happening. Three strands of story were coming together to create a sturdy net, catching our community in its fold. It was the “Feel the Heat” challenge, the Carnduff Fire Department playing against the CEC Sr. Boys basketball team, as the evening unfolded it became clear that we all won just by having the chance to be there.

The home team has a short history. For the first time in 20 years the Carnduff school has put together a seniors boys basketball team. With little experience, aside from a few members who have played with other teams, they came in as the underdogs in every league game. With unswerving enthusiasm, growing skill and good sportsmanship they tackled each game, however there was not a game victory to be had. This was the backstory for the home team part of the net being woven this night.

The guests on the court were men aged 19 to fifty something and one female firefighter. They are the men and woman we call in some of our most vulnerable moments, and they rise to the task with resolve and skill every time. They are a group who bring out deep feelings of gratitude and admiration from the community. On this night they rose to the challenge put before them and showed up to the game with smiles, easy going spirits, hard running efforts and a few unforgettable fashion statements.

The third strand of the story was this moment in time we are living. A community that has not had many opportunities to gather for fun in a long time was more than ready for what this night held. A hearty mix of things that are good for the soul was being caught up in that net. There was much laughter, delight, awe, and cheering that crossed team lines, all through the game. It felt good……very good, with the only obvious downside being the possibility of some sore muscles come morning. The audience that filled nearly every spare and safe spot in the gym had a great time.

So what happened? The boys basketball team ended their season with the taste of victory. They beat the firefighters, in a match that was never considered close in terms of score, but in terms of effort, the firemen really outdid themselves.

There were so many things that people might be talking about or posting to social media as they do the replay of what we saw and heard at this inaugural “feel the heat” challenge.

There will be much amusement in recollecting the uniform of fire chief Clint Paton. Decked out in a neon orange headband, black tights of some kind with knee length shorts overtop, neon orange socks and last but not least croc sandals, (in sports mode), he made a statement as soon as he entered the gym. We all cheered when Clint sunk a basket.

Those who love to see good basketball form will be delighting over the magic as Raf dribbled the ball, as if he was an elusive fly, always close but not stoppable, encountering every member of the firemans team within seconds it seemed, and moving right past them to get that ball one way or another into the key for CEC or the hands of a teammate .

There is so much action and some definite smiles going on here as Raf deals with this ball.

In the crowd it was a remarkable night for a few reasons. Its not very often that spectators in the stands at CEC are heard yelling out, “you got this Dad!” That was the nature of much of the cheering and the signs seen. Before the game one of the CEC basketball team was told by his father “pay attention, cause when the ol’ guys get tired they are going to start playing dirty and rough.” It wasn’t far from the truth. It was a more aggressive game than usual and rules became quite flexible as time went on. In the last minute of the game the firemen had eight players on the court to CEC’s traditional 5. No one was offended. It was funny and seemed symbolic of their all in spirit for this game. The crowd was privy to a very relaxed approach to the art of basketball.

Seven firefighters are seen playing in this shot!

Here a few other great moments caught on film…..

Jenn Meredith jumps high and gives the firefighters an awesome chance to get the play here.

There are alot of feet off the ground in this moment.

I think Barrett Paton should get an award for this moment.

Thinking back over what we experienced in the CEC gym on Tuesday night, it just doesn’t seem possible to say that anyone walked away having lost anything, we were all winners.